I don’t care whether this qualifies as news or not, because it’s awesome. It’s a picture of Hunter S. Thompson, John Cusack, and Johnny Depp riding around in a convertible with a blow-up doll.  Remember when Hunter took off to Las Vegas in search of the American Dream?  There was no need.  It was right here all along.  Right here in this picture.  Also, I know they stink, they’re expensive, they rot your teeth, they give you wrinkles, and they’re bad for you, but can any person honestly deny that cigarettes are really f*cking cool? [pic via IheartChaos]

ADDITIONAL NON-TIMELY TRIVIA: In a recent interview, Cameron Crowe said that in the boombox scene in Say Anything, the song John Cusack was playing was actually “Bonin’ in the Boneyard” by Fishbone.

John Cusack is playing Fishbone’s ‘Bonin’ in the Boneyard’ in the actual scene, but when we put the movie together, it didn’t work at all. He seemed like a crazed Fishbone fan who just happened to be outside her window.

Yep, that’s pretty weird.

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Here’s an official publicity still of John Cusack as Edgar Allen Poe in the James McTiegue-directed The Raven.  A fictionalized account of Poe’s last days, Poe helps a young detective track a serial killer who’s been using Poe’s stories as a backdrop for his killings.  And apparently, he does so with the help of… wait for it… A PET RAVEN.  That’s so raven. Is it just me, or is Hollywood being run by Homer Simpson?  I wouldn’t be surprised if in this version, the rapping Poe hears at his chamber door turns out to be Will Smith’s kid, belting his latest single.

“In The Raven, Jaden Smith literally rapped his way into my tell-tale heart.” -Pete Hammond.

[via LatinoReview]

This post will be a nice little round-up of the new pictures and posters going around the web today.  First up, John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe in The Raven (source).  I kid you not, this is the actual plot:

Based on an original script by Hannah Shakespeare and Ben Livingston, The Raven is set in the last five days of Poe’s life, when a serial killer is running around Baltimore using Poe’s stories as the backdrops for his killings. Poe and a young detective have a ticking clock to outsmart the killer before he strikes again.

Iiiiiiiiin YOUR EYES
at my chamber doooooor
YOUR EYES
forgiveness I imploooooore
YOUR EYES
You filled me with fantastic terrors never felt befooooore….
IIIN YOUR EYES…

Sorry, that was uncalled for.  I know how much he hates that reference.  Suffice to say, I hope Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Edgar Allan Poe: Homicide Detective team up at some point.

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Perhaps hoping to top their ideas for the story of Moses in the style of the 300 and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Hollywood’s latest idea is to have John Cusack play Edgar Allen Poe, but set in an alternate universe where Poe is trying to stop a murder, rather than just marinating his insides with sweet, sweet booze.  Suggested title: “The Tell-Tale (*fart*)”

Based on an original script by Hannah Shakespeare (I kid you not) and Ben Livingston, The Raven is set in the last five days of Poe’s life, when a serial killer is running around Baltimore using Poe’s stories as the backdrops for his killings. Poe and a young detective have a ticking clock to outsmart the killer before he strikes again [sic]. V For Vendetta‘s James McTeigue will direct, and production will begin late fall in Serbia. [Deadline]

Is it just me, or does this sound like some kind of Encyclopedia Brown role-playing game?  “There’s a serial killer on the loose and you’ll need your knowledge of Edgar Allen Poe to outsmart him!  So put on your thinking caps and your Nic Cage wigs, but always remember: reading is fundamental!”

Sidenote: The war-torn Balkans sounds like a perfect stand-in for Baltimore.  Safer too.

I’ve already posted the red-band trailer, the green band trailer, the official teaser, the Thanksgiving Day clip and God knows what else for this movie, but now there’s a new one out and why the hell not. A lot of people on the internet are all “Wah, this looks like the same old corny 80s jokes,” or “Wah, it’s just another gimmicky premise,” or “Wah, my bones are becoming warped and pliant from lack of sunlight.”   But screw them.  It’s still called Hot Tub Time Machine, it still looks a lot like the Aspen Timeshare episode of South Park (which was awesome), and that’s enough for me.  Also, is it racist that I can’t help but compare Craig Robinson to Tracy Morgan?   It’s not my fault they’re both husky, hilarious black guys with back-to-back shows on NBC.  You just can’t help but notice some things, like how Puerto Ricans steal.

[hat tip: Collider]