The bidding war for Pan, the Peter Pan origin story with Channing Tatum attached to star, has finally ended, with Sony paying in the $1 million range, according to sources.  It’s actually a bargain considering the cost to train, feed, and board the team of coked-up manatees it must’ve taken to dream up such a ridiculous concept.  “The 30-year-old guy from Step Up 2 Tha Streets starring in an origin story about an androgynous boy who doesn’t age?  Why that’s a splendid idea, Manatees!  More cocaine!”

And yes, I assume Flavor Flav is still the lead candidate to play the crocodile.

Sony is in negotiations to pick up Pan, the Peter Pan project that has Channing Tatum attached to star, Billy Ray writing and Joe Roth producing.

The package, which seeks to tell the origin of the flying immortal, went out last Tuesday, generating strong interest. Bidding came down to three suitors and sources said the deal was in the $1 million range.

Tatum, his producing partner Reid Carolin and Eric Bromberg came up with the idea and brought it to Ray, Roth and Roth Films’ Palak Patel. The five of them further developed the idea into the pitch, which envisioned Pan and Captain Hook as brothers. [THR]

I assume that by brothers he meant black guys.

You guys will never believe this, but Paramount is greenlighting a movie based on a Mattel toy! To be produced by the guy who directed Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise!

Max Steel revolves around a 19-year-old extreme sports junkie recruited by a secret agency after an accident infects his body with nanobots, making him superhuman.

OOO WHA-AA AA-AA!  I smell franchise potential!  Max Steel II: Double Pits to Chesty!

Although Mattel introduced the character in the U.S. in 1999 as an action figure, and soon after in an animated series that ran from 2000-2002, he’s proved more popular in Latin America, where Max Steel is the region’s No. 1 action figure. Mattel has continued to produce animated direct-to-DVD features for the region.

But Mattel wants to use movies as a way to relaunch the toy line in the U.S. and the rest of the world, [like Transformers]. Mattel was keen on pairing with [executive producer Joe Roth], considering the Max Steel character has similarities to the “XXX” franchise he launched while head of Revolution Studios. The Xander Cage character in the first film was an extreme sports athlete turned spy. [So, Mr. Roth, I can see by your resume that you have sh-tty movie experience.  That's going to be invaluable in this position].

So basically, Max Steel is like the Mexican Triple X.  Triple MexXx, say. Mira, I deed a backfleep on my lawnmower, ése!  And now I gonna paint a virgen on the side with glitter.  MEXXXTREEEME GLITTER! (*shotguns Jarritos, accordion music plays*)

In conclusion, f-ck yourself, Paramount.