Teresa Palmer, a 22-year-old Aussie actress once rumored to be in Justice League has been cast in Transformers 2.  No word on what role she’ll play, but presumably she’ll be the hot chick people stare at when the giant robots aren’t punching each other.

[Source] 

I’m breathless.  When I read this, my shoes shot across the room. And I still haven’t gotten my top hat back on my head.

I’m in Long Beach at the Speed Racer junket and I briefly cornered producer Joel Silver to ask him how the Justice League movie would affect Wonder Woman [Sub question: Who wins in a fight, Bugs Bunny or Inspector Gadget?  According to today's leading scientists, that's a burn. -Ed.]. The answer: it won’t. According to Silver, who would be in the know, Justice League has been ‘tabled.’

"Tabled", is of course fancy movie talk for "deep sixed", or "kicked to the curb and then thrown under the bus".  It’s strange, I never would’ve thought a movie about Batman, Superman, The Flash, a guy who talks to fishes and a dude who shoots boxing glove arrows would wind up not getting made.  I suppose the only word to describe my mood right now is "shock-founded." 

Hey Hey, JLA, why the hell are you still being made? – According to Variety, Justice League of America is back in pre-production and planned for a 2009 debut.  They mention Adam Brody playing The Flash, Common as the Green Lantern, Armie Hammer as Batman, and Megan Gale as Wonderwoman.  Sadly, still no word on the status of Green Arrow.   This epic pile of shit just won’t be complete without fruity dude in a green smock shooting bad guys with a boxing-glove arrow.  I say we get Renny Harlin to direct. 

Superhero Movie Has a Poster – Hey, Pam Anderson’s in it!  They needed a hot chick, and naturally they chose a hepatitis-infected 40-year-old with 12 kids from different fathers.  Based on that kind of judgement, I’m sure this will be swell. 

Barack Obama Wants Will Smiff to Play Him – Dude, think of your legacy!  You gotta go Morgan Freeman on this one.  The man practically sweats gravitas.

4 Fast 4 Furious Set Photos – Here’s Vin Diesel and Paul Walker "acting" in a "sequel" to "The Fast and the Furious".  I think we all know there’s no film in those cameras.  "I need you to get me some serious work!" Paul Walker was heard screaming into the wallet he pretends is a cell phone at his imaginary agent.

The Rock is Playing the Tooth Fairy – Dear Mr. Rock: No one will ever call you Dwayne Johnson when you do movies like this.  Let’s face it, you’re a poor man’s Macho Man Randy Savage.  OH YEEEAHHH!  

That Kid From There Will Be Blood to Exec Produce – Paul Dano will star in and executive produce Gigantic.  When reached for comment, that kid from Dazed and Confused just grabbed the bridge of his nose and shook his head.  (After a quick google search) Holy shit, his name’s "Wiley Wiggins"?  Some parents he’s got.

Pictures of Cameron Diaz’ Box – Haha, tricked you.  She’s actually just starring in a movie called The Box.  You didn’t care either way, did you.  Me neither.

Thank God the writer’s strike is over, now we can go back to speculating about the Justice League of America movie.  Via IGN:

According to Moviehole.net, the film will now be "about Green Lantern, Green Arrow, and others of the Justice League of America, an organization made up of the world’s greatest superheroes must deal with the expulsion of Batman and the death of Superman at the hands of the monstrous Doomsday."

I can’t find the Moviehole story they’re quoting, but it also reports that JLA wouldn’t start filming until 2010 (I’ll say it again – it’s never happening). But okay, no batman and no superman.  Who’s this Green Arrow guy?

Dressed like Robin Hood, Green Arrow is an archer, who invents trick arrows with various special functions, such as a glue arrow, a net arrow, explosive arrow, time bomb arrow, grappling arrow, fire extinguishing arrow, flash arrow, tear gas arrow, cryonic arrow, or a boxing-glove arrow. [Wiki]

Sweet Jesus, not a boxing-glove arrow! Today’s criminals won’t know what hit them!   The drug runners, the murderers, the terrorists – how will they deal with a skilled archer?  Perhaps he could team up with a Catapult operator and a phalanx captain, and they could ride around in a frigate or some other ancient weaponry that I remember from Civilization.  Why, they’d be unstoppable.  This sounds like cinematic gold.    

The JLA movie I said was never going to happen months ago is now officially on hold until after the writers’ strike ends.

Word leaked in the fall that the script, by the husband-and-wife team of Kieran and Michele Mulroney, was good but that subsequent rewrites, including the latest by Miller, had pacing issues and took the project in the wrong direction. [Reuters]

Ahh yes, “pacing issues”.  I ran into those when I was working on my script about Squiggy the Omnipotent Unicorn.  His invulnerability wasn’t a problem, it was just hard to keep a consistent level of intensity, you know?

The decision to put the project on hold now frees up the actors who had been cast in such roles as Superman (Scott Porter), Batman (Armie Hammer), Wonder Woman (Megan Gale), Green Lantern (Common) and the Flash (Adam Brody). Extensions on their contracts expired Tuesday. 

Yes, I’m sure all of Hollywood’s auteurs were beating down Scott Porter’s door.  Oh well, I bet he got some sweet pictures for his myspace page. 

"Justice’s" delay is considered good news for Christopher Nolan’s camp. The director is in post-production on "The Dark Knight," the sequel to "Batman Begins," and is said to have been unhappy with the "Justice League" movie because its version of Batman clashed with his one, starring Christian Bale. Nolan has been resisting directing a third "Batman" movie, though the studio would relish the possibility and could begin heavy courting.

Note to studio: I recommend “Grandma’s Summertime Strip-me-naked” for all your “heavy courting” needs (RAWR!).  A 30 pack of bud, a handle of the strongest grain alcohol you can find, and a package of Countrytime Lemonade.  Makes a nice little apertif.  Three glasses and he’ll be putty in your hands. (Four glasses will kill him, so be careful).