UPDATE: Obviously that was the wrong video. It has been fixed.

I apologize for yet another New Moon post, but you know me, these abstinence pinup studs just make my man panties so moist.  Anyway, this is from a couple of days ago on Kimmel, where it was revealed that Taylor Lautner was a tween breakdancer (25 seconds), and Kristen Stewart is a publicist’s dream.  Here’s the exchange from 1:35:

KIMMEL: [Obviously trying to joke] “Why is it that werewolves never wear shirts?  What’s going on with that?  … It also makes me wonder if Matthew McConaughey is a werewolf.”

KRISTEN STEWART: [Apparently not on board with the joking thing] There’s lots of justifications!  We are not objectifying our men in this movie at all.  No.  They are 108 degrees.  They’re hot, you know?  They phase, they hide cutoff shorts and Nikes in the woods in little bushes…

Then later (2:30), she chastises Robert Pattinson like a kindergarten teacher for not introducing the clip like they’ve been trained.  Point being, she acts like someone who’s had a lot more publicist coaching than she’s had school.  She knows how to recognize a possible variant of PC criticism almost instantly (He’s accusing us of objectification!) and quickly shift into company talking points (it’s because they’re hot!), but she’s not smart enough to realize she’s not making sense (cutoff shorts?  huh?) and no one was attacking her in the first place.  You can read all about this and more in my new book, 10 Ways You’re Better Than a Celebrity.

Here’s video of Seth Rogen on Jimmy Kimmel last night.  The back story on this is that Rogen was explaining how the first time he was on the show, he was on with Megan Fox before the first Transformers.  She was going on after him and she was nervous, so before the show she came to his dressing room to ask if he’d stay onstage during her interview.  He agreed, and thought when she came out, he’d seize probably the only opportunity he’d ever have to sneak a peck on the cheek from Megan Fox.  Only she disses him.  On national TV.  Then Kimmel plays the clip, and it’s every bit as bad as promised.  She kisses Kimmel on the cheek, then walks by Rogen, and as he leans in, she totally ignores him.  And the saddest part isn’t the rejection, it’s his instantaneous knowing acceptance of it.  “Yeah, I get it, I probably wouldn’t kiss me either.”  You poor bastard.  I used to be like that, before I learned how to be smooth around girls.  You don’t go begging for kisses on the cheek like some schlubby pussy. You just gotta sock ‘em in the arm and go “Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?” 

And then it’s Miller time.
Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s video of Megan Fox on Jimmy Kimmel last week. Jimmy asks her what it’s like working with Michael Bay, and she tells this story:

“The first time I ever met him, I was 15, and I was an extra on Bad Boys 2.  We were shooting this club scene, and they brought me in, and I was wearing a stars and stripes bikini and a red cowboy hat, and six-inch heels.  And they took me to Mike and he approved it.  And they said, ‘You know, Michael, she’s 15, so you can’t sit her at the bar and she can’t have a drink in her hand.’  So his solution to that problem was to then have me dancing underneath a waterfall getting soaking wet.  At 15.  I was in tenth grade.  So that’s sort of a microcosm of how Bay’s mind works.” [you can see the super short clip of her that made it into the movie after the jump]

Bottom line, this just adds to the mountain of evidence that a reality show about Michael Bay would be about 1000 times more awesome than a Michael Bay movie.  I also love how Megan Fox was already in six-inch heels and a bikini, but acts indignant about him making her get wet.  As if she thought she was going there to explain the electoral college.  “Yeah, so anyway, I’m on all fours drinking water out of the toilet, and next thing you know, guy tells me to bark like a dog.  And I’m like, what a sicko, you know?”

Read the rest of this entry »

A contrite Billy Bob Thornton went on Jimmy Kimmel last night to apologize for being a total dick to that Canadian radio guy for basically no reason.  Ha, just kidding, he blamed it on the DJ, called everyone names, and laughed at us for being petty.

“Well first of all, the fact that that was news was astounding to me. It gave humpbacked geeks all over the world something to do for a couple of days.” [scattered laughter]

But after that he did express some remorse. Psyche!  Fooled you again!

“I do that all the time. It wasn’t the first time.”  [Thornton then talked about a show he did in Germany ten years ago in which the female host didn’t adhere to his requirements and he responded the same way]
“This woman said something that she wasn’t supposed to say and I told her that I receive signals from Venus from a metal plate in my head. Then of course you get calls from all your friends ‘are you ok?’ ‘Of course I’m ok. I told a DJ to kiss my ass, that’s all that happened….’  If I tell some guy who lied to me in my face to not say something, you know… it doesn’t make any sense to me, plus the fact that… it’s news?”

Hmmm, three names… lacks empathy… struggling musician… former actor… What else does this guy have to do before we lock him up, put on a clown suit and carve up a puppy?

[hat tip, celebitchy]

Everyone knows Mel Gibson is a batshit crazy Jew hater.  But on the other hand, he made this funny fake movie trailer (for “The Colonel”) last night on Kimmel.  Hmm, tough one, but I think I’ll forgive him.  I mean, it’s not like he hates puppies.
Read the rest of this entry »