Kick-Ass 2 will hit theaters on August 16, and that is not soon enough. It should be today. F*ck that, it should be yesterday. It should be every day until my eyes and brain hold an intervention for me to get me to stop watching it, because based on the red band trailer that hit the cat tubes today, this movie is going to be incredible.

Check out the trailer after the jump, as our best friend in the whole wide world, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, becomes the evil supervillain The Motherf*cker. Also, Jim Carrey. Jesus. Someone get his Academy Award ready. Seriously, if you don’t laugh at “Yeah, there’s a dog on your balls”, well, I’m afraid you might be dead.

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All of the pieces seem to be falling into place rather nicely for Marvel’s giant sci-fi space epic, Guardians of the Galaxy, which will of course be tied into the ever-expanding Avengers universe. With Parks and Rec star Chris Pratt signed on to play the lead character, Star-Lord, they’re just trying to fill in the supporting characters, specifically the voices of the CGI Guardians like Rocket Raccoon and Groot, the giant talking tree.

There was a rumor back in January that Marvel Studios had reached out to Adam Sandler for the voice of Rocket and Jim Carrey for Groot, and while those aren’t exactly the most ideal casting decisions, based on both actors’ recent bodies of work, they at least showed that the studio was devoted to adding serious star power to this comic book’s transition to the big screen.

But just like Jason Momoa, who turned down the role of Drax the Destroyer, we can cross Carrey off the list, too. Promoting The Incredible Burt Wonderstone at SXSW (where Vince is currently trying out pickup lines on Twilight actresses) Carrey shot down that January rumor with authority.

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The Marvel Studios Universe is already expected to be quite busy in 2013 and 2014, with Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World set for release in May and November (respectively), and Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy set for April and August of 2014. In between those major sequels and Avengers connector films, Marvel is also expected to roll out features for Ant-Man and The Inhumans. There are also still some sketchy rumors that Adam Warlock will be shoehorned somewhere, whether in his own film or as part of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Of the films that already have release dates, though, Guardians is still the only one with a ton of questions around it, including “Who the hell is going to be in it?” Well, according to Latino Review, Wes Bentley, Chris Lowell and… *sigh* Cam Gigandet were the most recent to read for the centerpiece role of Peter Quill.

But that’s not the news that should concern Marvel fans. Not when Adam Sandler might be involved.

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Jim Carrey has announced his exit from the planned sequel to Dumb and Dumber (not to be confused with the 2003 prequel they made without the original cast or directors) that was supposed to start shooting in September. The move confounded many who thought watching two 50-year-old men pee on each other was a super-funny idea.

No one was more excited about the planned Dumb and Dumber sequel than Jim Carrey — but three months after director Peter Farrelly confirmed that both original stars would reprise their iconic roles, ETOnline has exclusively learned that Carrey has exited from the project.
According to sources, Carrey grew increasingly frustrated by New Line and Warner Brothers, who he felt showed a lack of enthusiasm regarding the project.
In addition to confirming the story, Carrey exclusively tells ETOnline, “I would have thought Dumb and Dumber To was a no-brainer, after all it’s implied in the title.” [ETOnline]

Does anyone even know what the hell that means? Americans get fat as they age, Canadians just turn crazy. You start out with a promising career, 20 years later you can still fit into the same clothes but you won’t stop babbling about how the aliens won’t visit us because of 9/11. All I know is, New Line and Warner must be CARAAAZAY not to be excited about a Dumb and Dumber sequel called “Dumb and Dumber To.” Get it?? It’s the wrong kind of “two!” Because they’re dumb! F*ckin’ homophones, am I right? Stupid people not understanding homophones is the fat people slipping on banana peels of our times.

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This story broke as an exclusive on April Fool’s Day, and I know from experience not to trust those, but the author swears it’s true and a bunch of other sites have since picked it up, so I guess it’s true (and if it’s not, well fella, you can just go suck rocks). Anyway, the story is that Dumb and Dumber will finally be getting a sequel. No, not Dumb and Dumberer, but a real sequel with Jim Carrey and Jeff Bridges and the Farrelly Brothers.

“Hooray, this sounds awesome!” said 2004, when reached for comment.

Today, at the junket for he and his brother’s latest, The Three Stooges, Peter Farrelly says that not only is Dumb and Dumber 2 coming, it’s set to begin production later this year.
“We’re getting set to shoot ‘Dumb and Dumber 2′ in September,” he says. “It’s the first sequel we’ve ever done and we’ve got Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels back.”
“We did not do ‘Dumb and Dumberer,’” he continues. “That was a studio thing. So we’ve always wanted to do a sequel and finally Jim called up. Jeff always wanted to do it. We always wanted to do it. Jim was busy, but he called and said, ‘We’ve got to do this thing again.’ He had just watched ‘Dumb and Dumber’ and he said, ‘This is the perfect sequel. Let’s do it.’” [ComingSoon]

I just sat here for 20 minutes with absolutely nothing to say about this, so it should be great. I can think of no more fertile ground for comedy than a premise like “two dumb guys are friends.” So much more to explore.