You may remember last month when David Cross did an interview with ThePlaylist in which he called working on Alvin & the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (or ‘The Squizznizzeaqu3l,’ as I like to rep it on MySpace) “the most unpleasant experience I’ve ever had in my professional life.” (For which a bunch of people ripped on him. Hey, shut up, he’s a comedian. Comedians complain about stuff. Honesty and whining is like 98 percent of comedy†). He was on Conan the other night, and he didn’t shy away from his previous assertion, and in fact went into more depth as to what it was about the experience that he hated so much. Turns out it was a particularly Jewy Jewess who made him dress like a pelican. Poor Victoria Jackson, she told the same story and no one believed her.

“I would say in all honesty it was the most miserable experience I’ve ever had. In my professional life. It was miserable, not because of the cast and the crew, who were great, but I was forced, at legal point, to spend a week on a cruise ship. It was terrible. There was no reason for me to be there. If you see the movie, and don’t… first of all, “Chipwrecked.” It’s a pun. [sarcastically] And 5-year-olds love puns. They love it. They love wordplay. And it’s a big commercial for Carnival Cruise Lines. And they thought, ‘won’t it be fun to get David on there?’

“And for the scenes that take place on the cruise ship…. I am always in a Pelican mascot foam rubber outfit where you cannot see any of my flesh, nor do I have any dialog. [picture of that after the jump]

[Asked why they didn't use a stand in] I tried that line of logic and reason, but there was one producer — everyone else had my back, and the director was like oh that’s fine we don’t need him, and I was in London, I was trying to shoot Todd Margaret at the time — and they’re like oh, you have to go and shoot this. Actually, she was more like [whiny voice]. And there’s this one producer, and I won’t say, but she is the personification of what people think about when they think negatively about Jews.”

“This woman, she represented everything people hate about the Jews. She made me go on a boat, which I hate. I can’t stand boats. What kind of a person goes on a boat? The air, it’s salty, makes me wheeze. And the ocean, with the rocking, and the pitching, and the rolling – feh! Oy, and don’t even get me started on the food. It’s HAWRIBBLE, and such small portions…”

Anyway, not to be a poop-stirrer, but Oliver Noble (FilmDrunk senior Jewish correspondent) pointed out that while no female producers are listed on IMDB, there’s only one female producer listed on the studio side in Variety:

Read the rest of this entry »

As pre-emptive penance for the incredibly negative Dinner for Schmucks review I’m about to write, here’s Paul Rudd DJing a Bat Mitzvah in 1992.  He’s so absurdly likable.  It’s funny, because if you’d asked me what I imagined Paul Rudd was doing in 1992, I probably would’ve said, “I dunno, making the birthday girl feel like the specialest lady in town at a Bat Mitzvah?*” Next you’ll tell me Keanu Reeves surfs.

Helping her blow out the candles, manning the limbo pole, doing some air guitar on the dance floor… it’s got everything but slappin’ da bay-oss. It’s like all the stunts the Wedding Crashers guys pulled to get chicks, they learned from Paul Rudd, only he was just hanging out, playin’ air guitar with his niece, not realizing anyone was watching.

[via Buzzfeed]

*Is ‘birthday girl’ the correct term? Jewess of honor?

This is the trailer for Greenberg, from writer/director Noah Baumbach, starring Ben Stiller.  I feel very unqualified to talk about it, since Noah Baumbach is that guy who I always hear good things about but I’m not that familiar with, and the trailer has a song from one of those bands that everyone says is cool that I never got around to listening to probably because I’m not that cool. ;-(

A New Yorker moves to Los Angeles in order to figure out his life while he housesits for his brother, and he soon sparks with his brother’s assistant.

Based on the trailer, it appears Ben Stiller is a mopey, depressed loser, until one day he meets a girl who’s desperate and depressed and lonely enough herself to put with his crap. Then she won’t bone him at first because she already boned everyone else and she wants this to be different. Then his dog gets cancer and they fall in love, a story as old as time.  I dunno, I might see this.  Or I might just eat easy cheeze straight from the can and zone out on the couch watching Maury.  Either way, man, I don’t even care anymore.

Also in HD at Apple

Someone at Buzzfeed dug up this clip of a 13-year-old Seth Rogen performing stand up at a comedy club.  He does 10 minutes of material, mostly about Jews, as part of an act I like to call “Take my grandparents – please!”  Anyway, pretty good for a 13-year-old.  I wanted to post some videos I made when I was 13, but I couldn’t get the donkey to sign the waiver!  Ha-ch-cha-cha-cha! But seriously, folks, usually when a 13-year-old’s in the room, it’s ME who’s standing up, gnome sayin? Whackety schmackety dooo.

American Apparel, a clothing store for people practically begging to get punched, used this shot of Woody Allen from Annie Hall in their billboard on Allen street (omg, clever!) in NYC  last April.  Allen promptly sued them for $10 mil, saying they’d used the image without his permission and he doesn’t endorse products.  But now comes the good part.  Check out American Apparel’s counter argument:

American Apparel says that it can’t have damaged Allen’s reputation by using his image because the film director has already ruined it himself. The company plans to make Allen’s relationships to actress Mia Farrow and her adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn the focus of a May 18 trial, according to the company’s lawyer, Stuart Slotnick. “Our belief is that after the various sex scandals that Woody Allen has been associated with, corporate America’s desire to have Woody Allen endorse their product is not what he may believe it is.”

Slotnick said it was not a cheap shot to bring up Allen’s sex life. “It’s certainly relevant in assessing the value of an endorsement,” he said, noting that Olympic swimmer “Michael Phelps lost endorsement power after a photograph surfaced of him using marijuana.”

Lawyers for American Apparel have complained that Allen has refused to turn over much of the information they have demanded to prepare for trial. Among their demands were documents concerning any endorsement requests that were withdrawn after the sex scandal with Farrow and Previn became public. [via AP, theplaylist]

Much as I hate everything about American Apparel and their ugly, annoying, boring, overpriced hipster clothes, even I have to admit the “Yeah? Well you’re a child molester” defense is pretty effin gangster.