(It’s a turn on, because who hasn’t wanted to choke Kate Hudson?)
After the jump I’ve got the extended, American Film Market trailer for Michael Winterbottom’s A Killer Inside Me. I’m a little torn on whether to advise you to watch it, since it seems to give away the entire movie, but holy crap is it also awesomely disturbing. Some of the stuff that happens:
Bottom line, this was all sort of disturbing and I didn’t know whether to jerk off or curl up like a baby and suck my thumb. So I did both.
UPDATE: I realize the video I added originally didn’t work for some people, so I attached a new YouTube version.
Usually Robert Rodriguez is pretty uncreative when he’s casting a movie. “Eh, I’ll just stick my slutty girlfriend in it,” he’s fond of saying. But Variety recently reported on the actors in line for Machete, which began production this week, and it’s like all my most feverish coma fantasies come true!
I don’t know how they ever got insured — with Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez on the same set, they’ll have enough Latin machismo to power 1000 lowriders. I also hear that craft services won’t be offering any food, just cigarettes and Eagles records.
If only.
As part of the “Declare Yourself” voter drive campaign, every celebrity ever is telling us to vote, and they’re doing it in creative ways. Jessica Alba and Cristina Aguilera got all bondaged out for photographer David LaChappelle, while people like Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill and Sarah Silverman did a video (after the jump) full of naughty words that spends the first few minutes telling you not to vote. But then Sarah Silverman says you can literally register while pooping, so I guess they actually do want you to vote. But if you were planning on not voting and then changed your mind because Usher showed up and said it was important, please, don’t vote. In fact, kill yourself. And should you choose to ignore my advice, please be aware that one of the candidates is not “MC Cain”.
More proof that God hates you after the jump.
To watch the trailer in high res, kill yourself. If you don’t see it, try doing something really bad, then kill yourself.
[Thanks to loyal FilmDrunkard Satan for the tip.]
Good tagline: The story of a man who teaches people how to kick other people in the face.
Bad tagline: A comedy about someone you know. Anyone who can explain what the hell that even means gets a gold star. And a punch to the groin.
Good Gimmick: A karate guy wearing sunglasses - you wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you? LOL!
Bad Gimmick: Ripping off the shirt-matches-the-wallpaper gag from Garden State. Also, Jessica Alba’s in it. And Aaron Eckhart has the same stupid hair and manly chin he has in every movie. Leave me alone, man, I’m not gay! How many times do I have to tell myself?
In conclusion, Meet Bill is fucking fired.
