Do these look like two guys about to rob a bank and possibly explode?

“Why did someone make this?” Sadly, that was the question on my mind almost from the first minute to the last during 30 Minutes or Less. I don’t understand why you’d take a lurid, darkly absurd tale of kidnappings, hitmen, and bomb vests and try to turn it into the most broad, bland, Borscht-belt schmucky chuckle fest possible. This movie is like watching Jay Leno tell pedophilia jokes, but less interesting. It’s not the LEAST funny movie I’ve ever seen (hello, Dinner for Schmucks), probably because you couldn’t make a totally unfunny movie with this cast if you tried, but you could tell this story was fundamentally flawed from the first five minutes.

Why did Ruben Fleischer want to tell this story, exactly? Because it seems like his interest wasn’t so much what people might do in these situations, but what jokes actors might make while wearing their costumes. Danny McBride and Nick Swardson come the closest (they’re supposed to be crazy, at least), but no one seems quite committed to the concept. Fleischer said in an interview that he wanted Fargo to be his point of reference, but “without any of the darkness” — which is actually 30 Minutes or Less‘s fatal flaw. It plays more like Family Guy, where the premise is just a planter box for interchangeable jokes about queefs and Emmanuel Lewis. Actually there weren’t any queef jokes. That would’ve been an improvement.

Read the rest of this entry »

30 Minutes or Less is a comedy from Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer, starring Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride, and Nick Swardson, based on the real-life collar bomb case from 2003. In the real-life version, the bomber was actually part of the robbery plot, though he thought the bomb was going to be fake.  He tried to back out when he found out the explosives were real, but his accomplices forced him to wear it at gun point, and, in yet another strange turn, gave him a shotgun made out of a cane to use in the robbery. He was eventually caught by the cops and killed when his friends, afraid that he’d turn state’s witness against them, detonated the bomb while news cameras were rolling.

In theory, I like the idea of turning the story into a dark comedy, but based on the trailer, I’m not sure how seriously I can take the danger when the characters are making cheesy jokes about it the whole time.  It looks like they forgot the “dark” part.  Like, if me and my fat buddy were running from Nazis through the ghettos of Warsaw like Schindler’s List and dogs were nipping at my heels as he was taking too long to get over a fence, I doubt I’d be like, “Dammit, Herschel! I told you not to have that second knish!”

Opens August 12th.

Ruben Fleischer made his directorial debut with the 2009 zombie comedy Zombieland and his second effort, 30 Minutes or Less has a new red band trailer, and I think it may be safe to say that Ruben and I are going to be great friends.

Zombieland was a hit-or-miss film for most people that I know, but I loved it, and after watching this trailer I think it might be impossible to dislike 30 Minutes or Less, which is about a pizza delivery boy (Jesse Eisenberg) who is abducted by two men in monkey suits (Danny McBride and Nick Swardson) who strap a bomb vest to his chest and force him to rob a bank. His only recourse is to beg his friend (Aziz Ansari) for help…

Read the rest of this entry »

(I’ve heard Jesse Eisenberg compared to Michael Cera before, but this picture sort of blew my mind. Via Reddit)

New in theaters this weekend:

The Social Network
That Facebook movie is out this weekend, had you heard?  I know, they should really be advertising it more. On a serious note, I thought about checking out a midnight screening of this last night so I could have a review up today, but I was tired, so we’ll just have to talk about it next week.  I haven’t loved every David Fincher movie, but none of them have been bad, and with almost everyone in the world saying it’s great, I have no reason to doubt them (comically dramatic trailers aside). Still, I’m sick of curly-haired guys always being unfairly portrayed as the villain.  GAY CLOWN-HAIRED AMERICANS ARE PEOPLE TOO, DAMMIT! I’m going to sue God in FEDERAL court.

Let Me In
Everyone was pissed when we heard the Cloverfield guy was remaking Let the Right One In, but the trailers all looked pretty good and the reviews are almost as good as The Social Network.  I’m just sad ODB isn’t here to see it.  He loved to go in.

Barry Munday (Limited Release)
This looks about as funny as a movie about a guy who gets his balls cut off could be.

Freakonomics (Limited Release)
Finally, someone blows the lid off corruption in the world of sumo wrestling.  You know, I knew something wasn’t right about those guys, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  All this time I thought it might have been the giant diapers.

Read the rest of this entry »

Please. That girl's butt didn't go to Stanford.

David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin’s Facebook movie The Social Network opens in October, and though we’ve already seen a couple talk-rapey teasers, this is the first real trailer with footage from the film. It follows megalomaniacal Korean dictator Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg’s rough days at Harvard and his eventual rise to power.  You can tell it’s super serious because there’s a children’s choir singing the whole time.  If you’re keeping score at home, Children’s choir = profound artistic statement.  It stars Jesse Eisenberg, Scarfield, and Justin Timberlake.

I like David Fincher, but am I the only one who thinks this movie looks sort of slick and Oliver Stone-y?  His childhood slights stoke the fire that helps him succeed, but also the flaws that would come to define him!.  Hmm, not a lot of room for nuance, is there.  The guy founded Facebook. He’s not Joseph Stalin.