Bros, I feel like I’ve been dreaming about this day ever since Andrea Fingerblast ski-poled Flapjacks and me after the Chi O slave auction in the back of Steve L’s mom’s beamer on the way to pledge retreat, and now it’s finally here: Entourage is getting a movie. It’s a pretty personal story for me. I still remember I was wearing the limited edition And 1 kicks Turtle designed the day I found out we hazed Spinach to death after Kamikaze. I’m pretty emotional right now. RIP, Spinach.

From Deadline:

Warner Bros has tonight given the green light on a movie version of Entourage. The film will be directed by series creator Doug Ellin, who wrote the screenplay and who exec produced the series with Mark Wahlberg and Stephen Levinson. Deals are starting to be made with Adrian Grenier, who played Chase, Kevin Connolly, who played his manager Eric “E” Murphy, Kevin Dillon, who played the actor’s brother Johnny Drama, Jerry Ferrara, who played their entrepreneurial driver Turtle, and Jeremy Piven,

That’s about as far as the studio has gotten at this point, and there is no start date. I for one loved the series ending, in which Ari finally gave up his career and pledged his devotion to his long suffering gorgeous wife (Perry Reeves), only to get a last minute phone call offering him his dream job of running a film studio, knowing he’ll lose her if he says yes. Love to see how Ari negotiates himself out of that hell. Did I mention that I watched that show from start to finish, and miss it terribly?

While some naysayers might start in that an HBO transfer to film has no shot, the first Sex And The City did pretty well. For me, I can only think of one word to describe this development. Victory!!!!

See, bros? I’m glad Mike Fleming got a job at Deadline, but this is why he didn’t get a bid and Underpants Tony did. I mean we all know there’s a difference between being a down-ass bro and being a lurky creepenstein who makes all the clam slam shut. As Fat Dave my grand big always said, we need pledges, not stalkers – no homo. Anyway, I was all ready to take a grandma’s funnel to the dome after hearing this news like Stinkeye before he got tazed by the cops after Paddy’s, but then my bro Burnsy was all, “slow down, bro: are we sure this is really a good thing?”

At first I thought Burnsy was just being a f*g, but then it really got me to thinking, and he was holding the hookah so I thought we should hear him out:

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When Miley Cyrus’s So Undercover was first reported, it was called “I’m, Like, Sooo Undercover,” a script by Allan Loeb, who’s either a brilliant supervillain who uses his understanding of Hollywood execs’ weaknesses to manipulate the system for his own financial gain, or some kind of idiot savant who just happens to have his greasy sausage fingers on the pulse of the studio script-buyer zeitgeist. Loeb traffics exclusively in films that sound like serious parodies, such as Here Comes the Boom, Adam Sandler’s Just Go With It, The Dilemma, and that one where Jason Batemen switches Jennifer Aniston’s semen. He writes three of these a year, and probably spends a bout a half hour on each. Like I said, possibly a genius. There are a few things you should know about his latest before you watch the trailer below.

• Miley Cyrus plays a hard-nosed private investigator. That’s right, MILEY CYRUS. A private dick.

• FBI agent Jeremy Piven needs her to go undercover at a sorority house. Just like Harland Williams and Martin Lawrence in a fat suit before her. It’s the plot of almost every teen movie.

• Is there a scene where a flamboyant gay man cringes at having to turn a no-nonsense Sandra Bullock type into Miss Congeniality? YOU BET YOUR TIRED STEREOTYPES THERE IS!

Wasn’t a bumpkin getting made up to look purdy the entire plot of Hannah Montana? It’s like this chick’s entire career is based on people wanting to give her a haircut.

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Miley Cyrus is set to star in So Undercover [originally titled "I'm Like, Sooo Undercover"], a harrowing tale of an 18-year old girl who looks like she’s 15, playing a private investigator who infiltrates a college sorority in order to solve the case of the experimental friendship. And while I may have made that last part up, it would be the only saving grace of an otherwise unoriginal and annoying idea.

But Miley’s sleuth masterpiece has a cast now, as she’ll be joined by Mike O’Malley of Glee and that one show from CBS with that other forgettable comedian, and Jeremy Piven. O’Malley will play Miley’s father (Miley O’Malley… LO’L!) while Piven will play a guy who desperately needs to sit down with John Cusack and figure out what’s going on before it’s too late.

Move some hair from my butt to the front of my head, Variety…

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Here’s Malibu’s Most Wanted, Jeremy Piven explaining his totally-not-bogus-sounding mercury poisoning story to Peter Travers of Rolling Stone, who totally doesn’t seem like a giant kiss-ass the whole time.  And then at 6:33, Peter Travers asks J-Piv to sing, but J-Piv raps instead because “that’s what I grew up on.”  Woof.

Here’s a new clip of Angelina Jolie in Salt.  You’ll never believe this, but she plays a street-wise spy on the run from a government that may have double crossed her, and she’ll need all her skills to survive.  Hmm, are we sure America is ready for a film like this?  It seems ahead its time. |Yahoo Movies|

Mel Gibson hates Mexicans now too.  “I will report her to the f**king people that take f**king money from the wetbacks,” is what he reportedly said this time.  “MIRA, THERE’S ESOMEONE DRESSED LIKE UNA PEEG?” the ranchero accordion store manager reportedly said upon hearing Mel’s report.  More importantly, The Mighty Fek’lhr just made this new LOL Mel which I found delightfully disturbing. Yes, the crazy eyes are strong with that one. |HuffingtonPost|

Rumors of Bond’s demise have been greatly exaggerated.  Sort of.  Daniel Craig and Sam Mendes say they remain “attached to the project“, though that doesn’t mean a whole lot until MGM can actually make the movie. MGM is in debt and needs a buyer, and Bond remains tied to MGM because MGM kind of needs it to attract a buyer. So basically, it’s on hold indefinitely until someone buys MGM, just like it had been.  I hear rumblings about someone looking to buy MGM, but nothing concrete yet. Hold on, I hear another rumbling… (*fart noise*)  [Deadline]

Some new kid I haven’t heard of has been cast as Beast in X-Men First Class. You can read all about it in my upcoming book, “Blah Blah Blah Who Cares.” |SlashFilm|

Janeane Garofalo says Brazilian waxing is part of a “national myth.” (Obvious line: in related news, Janeane Garofalo is still alive.)  “It couldn’t possibly be true that there are a lot of guys who find adult females with genitals that look pre-adolescent that attractive,” she said. “If they do, that’s a problem. I think it’s a national myth that we have all gone along with for some reason.”  You’re right, Janeane, I have fascist, pedophilic tendencies because I also prefer pre-adolescent-looking armpits, legs, eyebrows, and upper lips, and I even like it when women wear deodorant so that they can smell like my marginalized, objectified, pre-adolescent playthings.  But hey, you know what’s not a national myth? Janeane Garofalo has a super hairy p*ssy.  |Celebitchy|

Despite the fact that he’s best known for being on Entourage, I never disliked Jeremy Piven.  I enjoyed his bit part in Grosse Pointe Blank, and even on Entourage, he’s probably the only even vaguely interesting character .  But now we’re free to hate away, because apparently he’s a huge prick.  From a recent (always awesome) Adam Carolla podcast (this part’s about 59 minutes in):

ADAM CAROLLA: There’s so many douchebags in this town.  Can’t we just start calling the douchebags the douchebags?

GUEST DAVE DAMESHAK: Why don’t you?  Start naming names right n–

ADAM: Jeremy Piven.  Every time I say to somebody — photographers, people who set up stereo equipment, hair and makeup people –  “Who’s the biggest douchebag you ever worked with?”  Jeremy Piven.  It just comes flying out of their mouth.  Universally.

DAVE:  It’s amazing! I used to sling drinks in a bar in Evanston where his parents had a theater, and this was like 10 years before anybody new who he was when he was doing bit parts in John Cusack movies, and everybody would go out of their way to say what a terrible person he was.  I’ve never heard anybody say “Oh he’s a nice guy.”

So there you have it, folks, we’re now free to hate Jeremy Piven.  But because I don’t want this site to be all negativity and the cooling spring of hate that washes over my gills keeping me alive, it should also be noted that there’s a similar universal agreement on the best guy in Hollywood.  That’s right, Bruce Greenwood.   I heard Bruce Greenwood was once filming a movie in St. Louis, and he could tell something was bothering the makeup girl.  When he asked her what was wrong, she told him about her daughter’s degenerative heart condition.  Bruce Greenwood was so moved, he shed a tear right there in the empty lot.  Wouldn’t you know it, the next morning a beautiful rose bush, her daughter’s favorite flower, bloomed in that very spot, even though it was the dead of winter.  True story, ask anyone.