(picture source = Durden)

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs took number one at the box office this weekend with $30.1 million, which is slightly better than Bolt and slightly worse than G-Force, despite largely positive reviews.  The production budget is listed at $100 million, so it’s not what you’d call a huge hit.

The Informant! did okay business ($10.5 mil) in number two, Tyler Perry added to his bank roll, not that that was ever in question, and Love Happens and Jennifer’s Body pretty much tanked.  Love Happens‘ bomb is no surprise.  When it looks like penis kryptonite AND a sappy turd (as opposed to a lighthearted comedy, even a retarded one), you’re left with that core audience of Aniston die-hards and people whose showing of All About Steve was sold out, a small demographic indeed.  On the plus side, it managed a simultaneously lamer and less descriptive title than All About Steve, no small feat.  It’s looking like an early front runner for the Oscar in not giving a sh’t.

Jennifer’s Body barely made more than Sorority Row last weekend, and if I had to guess why, I’d say it probably wasn’t the best idea to play the commercials starring an already over-exposed Megan Fox over and over ad nauseum during football and UFC.  I felt like I’d already seen it 12 times by the time it came out.  You see, we men like variety, isn’t that right, hard drive full of exotic porn.  But then, what do I know, I’m not an analyst.  I’m just a guy who likes cats wearing costumes.  Uh, I mean pussy. Read the rest of this entry »

I was hoping to get to this before your mom sends it to you as an email attachment, but Jennifer’s Body just released a bunch of new clips including MEGAN FOX AND AMANDA SEYFRIED’S LESBIAN KISS*.  It doesn’t have MEGAN FOX NAKED or a NIPPLE SLIP MEGAN FOX SCISSORING AN ASIAN STUMP PORN WHORE UPSKIRT CAM, but I guess it’s still pretty newsworthy.  (I realize I already posted the kiss part, but this time the scene is in context.  You know, because that’s important.)  She actually does pretty well in these, acting-wise.  I’m not convinced that she isn’t the terrible actress we all came to know and love in Transformers, but she seems like a good fit for Diablo Cody’s campykitschycutesy dialog.  I gather the plot is that some mean boys went “all Benihana on her ass” and left her for dead and now she’s out for revenge. I guess these slasher movies always have to have some crazy revenge motive. Does it really matter? Just once I’d like to see one where the final scene is, “Huh, I never thought about why I did it. When it comes down to it, I guess I’m just kind of a c’nt.”

*I admit most of my experience with lesbians involves porn and walking the dog in Park Slope, but I always thought a “lesbian kiss” involved tongue.  And/or fisting.

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Entertainment Tonight recently did a piece on Diablo Cody’s Jennifer’s Body and something something something MEGAN FOX AND AMANDA SEYFRIED LESBIAN KISS!!!  Luckily the lesbian kiss (also the name of a cover band I used to play in) comes just 12 seconds in, because the rest of it is like watching Death Proof over and over with the car crashes cut out.  “Please, tell us more about your character, Evil Cheerleader #4, I’m fascinated by her psychology.”  Amanda Seyfried (who’s playing a character named “Needy”, apparently), actually manages to come off dumber than her Mean Girls character.  It’s like she has ESPN or something.  And then Diablo Cody shows up wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and a leopard-print trench coat to make me regret ever defending her.  Please tell me that’s a costume.  It looks like she’s interviewing for the Katy Perry detective agency.

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Megan Fox complained about not getting to show much of her acting range in Transformers, in which she mainly had to run from stuff and make her tits bounce up and down.  This time around, in Jennifer’s Body, she gets to make her tits bounce up and down AND deliver totally fetch Diablo Cody dialog like:

“You need a mani bad.  You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation.”

“It smells like Thai food in here. Have you guys been f-cking?”

And, “Nice hardware, Ace.”

Because Ace is the name of a Hardware Store, you see.  Anyway, I know a lot of people hate Diablo Cody and her deliberately kitschy dialog, but cutesy dialog is the difference between a movie like this that works and one that doesn’t.  Plus, it’s got the criminally underrated Adam Brody.  All I’m saying is, if you want to hate Diablo Cody, don’t do it because of her writing, do it because she’s still calling herself “Diablo.”  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go buff my situation. (*bench presses Chinese chick*)

[via ShocktillYouDrop]

This picture of Megan Fox is from the set of Jennifer’s Body, and unfortunately doesn’t show much, unless you have a face fetish or some such perversion.  In other pictures of hot chicks non-news news, here’s a shot of Mickey Rourke talking to Gina Carano at the Strikeforce fight in San Jose Saturday.  I want to hug them both, but for drastically different reasons.  And finally, Mike Judge’s Extract has a new poster.  Get it?  One of the nuts is smashed because in the movie, a guy gets his nut smashed.  Pretty clever, huh?  I thought so.

[Megan Fox source = comingsoon, Carano/Rourke via AllElbows (lots more photos there), Extract via Hitfix]