Jemaine Clement did most of the heavy lifting on Flight of the Conchords, and after kicking off his post-Conchords film career with the barely released Gentleman Broncos (quickly pulled from theaters after drawing 9% recommended on RottenTomatoes), he’s set to get it back on track with… uh…  Men in Black 3D.  The most anticipated sequel of the week before Men in Black 2 came out.

He’s set to play a villain named “Yaz”, which is either a synth pop band from Essex or a birth-control pill that gives you fewer periods, depending on who you ask. Me, I make my girl take a pill that gives her more periods, because I think a menstruating woman is a beautiful thing, man.  Anyway, Barry Sonnenfeld is back to direct (coming off the triumph of 2006′s RV), and Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are returning to star, as is Josh Brolin, who apparently plays a younger version of Tommy Lee Jones’s's’s character, because the plot involves time travel.  Etan Cohen (Tropic Thunder) wrote the script, which got a polish from David Koepp, whose credits include Angels & Demons (*wank*), Zathura (*shrug*), War of the Worlds (*hurl*), and Indy 4 (*quicksand*).

To be honest, given the talent involved (Clement, Jones, Brolin, Cohen), this project doesn’t sound as crotch-punchingly terrible as it once did.  But I swear to God, if there’s not at least one aliens-getting-harassed-in-Arizona joke, I will eat a steaming bowl of my own sh*t.

[via Deadline, Playlist]

Fox Searchlight’s Gentleman Broncos, directed by Napoleon Dynamite‘s Jared Hess and starring Flight of the Conchords‘ Jemaine Clement, opened this weekend on two screens, grossing $11,502 dollars.  Which isn’t  horrible in terms of per-screen average.  It was supposed to go wider this weekend, but after getting horrible reviews, it pulled out of first Chicago and then Dallas and now Seattle too (no word on whether it still plans squirt all over Tucson).  Here were some of the positive reviews:

“A juvenile, crass and silly mess that’s occasionally irritating to watch, intermittingly funny and over-the-top, but nonetheless amusing and wildly imaginative.” Source (6.25 out of 10)

“Its quirkiness preceding and very nearly swallowing it whole, Gentlemen Broncos is less warped than it thinks it is yet still provides enough bizarre, painstakingly designed schlock to tickle the willing.” Source (3 out of 5)

Roman Polanski with a bullhorn sez, “DID SOMEONE SAY ‘TICKLE THE WILLING?’”  Meanwhile, I think my favorite review was this one from UGO:

“Jared Hess is now, after Rudolf Hess, my most hated Hess.”

Ah, yes, what would we movie critics do without pointed Nazi references?  “If I were a holocaust Jew and had been given the choice between seeing this movie again and a shower, this reviewer would surely have chosen the shower.”  Anyway, don’t weep for Jared Hess, as he’s still rich in love and support from his family.  By which I mean he’s Mormon so I assume he has lots of wives.

Here’s the first trailer and poster for Gentlemen Broncos, which has already released some decent viral videos with Jemaine Clement (from Flight of the Conchords).  Via ONTD:

Benjamin [Michael Angarano], home-schooled by his eccentric mother [Jennifer Coolidge, AKA Stifler's mom], is a lovable loner whose passion for writing leads him on an offbeat and hilarious journey as his story gets ripped off by the legendary novelist Ronald Chevalier [Jemaine Clement] and then is adapted into a disastrous movie by the small town’s most prolific homespun filmmaker [Sam Rockwell].

I’m torn (like your sister’s hymen).  I like most of the actors, and the videos so far have been pretty good.  On the other hand, this is directed/co-written by the same guy who did Napoleon Dynamite, which was more white than Pat Boone riding a polar bear through the set of “2001: A Space Odyssey”.

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Last night’s episode of Flight of the Conchords was directed by Michel Gondry (director of Eternal Sunshine, Be Kind Rewind, and others). After the jump, you can watch the first musical number, “Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor.” As you can imagine, Gondry’s penchant for surrealistic special effects is a nice complement to the Conchords’ musically… uh… literal… um… Well anyway, it’s good.  As for the song’s message, I normally have the opposite problem.  Nothing against dancing with women, they just lack the upper-body strength necessary for the moves I like to try.
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After the jump, I’ve got a brand new promotional clip from Gentleman Broncos, starring Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords.  To refresh your memory, Gentleman Broncos comes from Jared and Jerusha Hess, the mormon husband and wife filmmaking team behind Napoleon Dynamite.  Clement plays Dr. Ronald Chevalier, a fantasy novelist.  In this clip, he describes his creative process:

“To inspire myself, I turn to myself, and my own original compositions. This chord conjures up a family of electronic dogs, scavenging for a home. This suggests a planet, with 50 moons.  This, an android, who discovers feelings.”

In theory I know I should find this funny, but good god is it dry.  It almost makes me wish someone would get hit in the nuts, or a cross-dressing black guy in a fat suit would chase someone around with a rolling pin.  Oh lawdy, chile, I done tripped an’ fell on mah sweet potata pie, now mah britches is ruined!
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