A few months back, I told you about Stacey Halas, a shaved blonde with big naturals who was summarily fired from her job teaching seventh and eighth grade science in Oxnard, California, when the school administration found out about her past as porn actress Tiffany Six. Principal Reginald Cumberbun commented, “Having always used the internet as a tool for searching important science articles and zesty quinoa recipes, I was shocked, shocked, to find how easily it was for a depraved soul to find photos of loose women in all stages of disroberment,” fainting as he clutched his pearls. I might have made that up, but Halas rightly sued, and now a three-judge panel of hypocrites has struck down her appeal.
A three-judge panel unanimously decided Stacie Halas, 32, was unfit for the classroom. “Although (Halas’) pornography career has concluded, the ongoing availability of her pornographic materials on the Internet will continue to impede her from being an effective teacher and respected colleague,” Judge Julie Cabos-Owen wrote in a 46-page decision issued Friday by the Commission on Professional Competence.
If I was a fired former porn actress and I could only have my case heard by a judge with a hyphenated last name, I’d probably just give up right there.
Halas was continually deceitful about her nine-month career in porn before she went to work at the school, the decision said. Her lawyer Richard Schwab said Halas had tried to be honest but was embarrassed by her previous experience in the adult industry.
Her lawyer is named Dick Swab. :-/
“Miss Halas is more than just an individual fighting for her job as a teacher,” he said Tuesday. “I think she’s representative of a lot of people who may have a past that may not involve anything illegal or anything that hurts anybody.”
Student claims that the teacher was moonlighting as a porn star were initially dismissed after school officials said they couldn’t find any images of her on the Internet — but they were using the school’s computers, which don’t allow access to porn.
That is the funniest sentence ever written. Even saying for the sake of argument that those school officials weren’t lying through their teeth, they should all be fired on account of being childishly naive simpletons. “Mr. Principal, Mr. Principal, you’ll never believe this! Students were caught smoking… in the boy’s room! It’s almost as if they’re taking advantage of the one place we aren’t allowed to monitor them to break the rules!”