(It’s Sorcerer’s Apprentice vs. Dragonball in the annual Ridiculous Hair Hadouken Hoedown.)

Foist your eyes on the first trailer for The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, which re-teams Nic Cage with super turd producer Jerry Bruckheimer in a high-octane thrillship to adventureburg.  Just when you think you can’t handle anymore of your mind getting blown, Nic Cage cooks up some balls of magic and dangles them in Jay Baruchel’s face.  Jay Baruchel is the chosen one, you see, and Nic Cage is to school him in the ways of sorcering.  Of course he doesn’t know this yet, but you can tell he’s destined for greatness in the supernatural world, because in sh-tty movies, one’s future greatness in the magical realm is inversely proportional to how much of an unremarkable douche one is in the present.  Keep dreaming, Danny Masterson.

UPDATE: Now with 100% more hadoukens!

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This is the first trailer for Dreamworks animation’s next movie, How to Train Your Dragon, opening March 26th, from co-directors Dean Dubois and Chris Sanders, who previously did Lilo & Stitch.  I’ll give DW a little credit for creativity for this time, because it least it’s not about a Chinese Panda or a Mexican Chihuahua or an Australian kangaroo.  That said, Jay Baruchel seems to be trying extra hard to annoy me as the voice of the lead.  His aggressively average, schlubby everydouche character was already wearing thin the first time he did it and he seems to be laying it on extra thick here.  I don’t get it, why do they keep putting this character in movies?  It’s not interesting and it sure as hell isn’t likable.  I’d take a pedophile or an arsonist over this boring jagoff any day.  Are we supposed to identify with this guy?  Because I have an overwhelming urge to pull his underwear over his head and push his head in the toilet.  What we should do is put the Jay Baruchel character on an ice flow with Kevin James and Kenneth from 30 Rock and nudge it towards Antarctica.

[available in HD at Yahoo]

Nic Cage, Jay Baruchel, and some sort of shirtless Indian tranny were shooting scenes for Jerry Bruckheimer’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice in New York yesterday, and this guy was able to get some set pictures.  My favorite Nic Cage movie cliché is how he’s always somehow supposed to be incognito, and always blends in like a clown wearing stilts with a dildo on his forehead.  Can you believe this is the same guy who once won an Oscar?

[more pictures]

The beauty of Nic Cage is that when I heard he’d be playing the lead in Jerry Bruckheimer‘s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, this is pretty much exactly what I expected.  And yet, upon seeing the first pictures I still almost  spit coffee on my screen.  It’s like The Matrix with Downs Syndrome.

(I also added a picture of Cage’s son. Not because he’s in this, but because he should be).

[more pictures at spoilertv]

Jay Baruchel has signed on to star in Johnny Klutz, about “a lovable loser who’s impervious to pain,” for Waiting writer-director Rob McKittrick (sounds like direct-to-DVD material).  I bring it up only because Jay Baruchel seems to get cast in everything now and it’s bugging me.  Much like Kenneth from 30 Rock (but admittedly, less annoying) he’s had extremely minor parts in solid ensemble comedy casts (Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder), and now he gets cast as that same character in everything. Do execs really think 30 Rock is funny because of the annoying stupid virgin guy, or that Tropic Thunder was funny because of the nerdy average guy?  Because it wasn’t.  It was funny because of Robert Downey Jr. in blackface.  That I could watch a few more times.  This is like a doing an SNL spinoff about Melanie Hutsell.