After the jump, you can watch the new trailer for New Year’s Eve, a sh*tty collection of half-assed clichés full of pretty people and happy music because Hollywood thinks you’re stupid. But first, it’s a trailer for another Katherine Heigl movie, One for the Money (Hollywood’s Assumption: AMERICA LOVES KATHERINE HEIGL).

It’s based on the first of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum novels of the same name, and comes from director Julie Anne Robinson, who previously directed Miley Cyrus in that Nick Sparks movie where she saves a nest of sea turtle eggs from a raccoon and finds love when a stranger spills her milkshake during a game of beach volleyball. Whoa, what happened? I think I blacked out for a while. Anyway, I read a Janet Evanovich book once. All I can remember is that Stephanie Plum had a fat, sassy black assistant who was always smuggling bacon and ham in her purse because she was on the Atkin’s Diet. I’m guessing that would be Sherri Shepherd in this. Aw, she’s like a female Anthony Anderson — she’s even got the alliterative name! Fat, sassy, and black is one HILARIOUS way to go through life! And she’s never thought about whether the world is flat, which kind of makes her One for the Money’s Target audience.

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Ahh, Katherine Heigl and Janet Evanovich, a match made in hell. Today Variety reports that Heigl is attached to star in One for the Money for Columbia pictures, based on Evanovich’s novel.  Meanwhile, my hidden cameras report that she’s still going number two for a show.  Go, Kat, go!

Heigl will play Stephanie Plum, an unemployed lingerie buyer who becomes a bounty hunter to make ends meet.  Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith (The Ugly Truth, She’s the Man) penned the screenplay, and Liz Brixius (Nurse Jackie) has been brought onboard to do a polish.

Back when I used to commute to work, I used to get books on CD from the library, which didn’t have an amazing selection.  One of the ones I listened to was a Janet Evanovich novel, which had as a supporting character a sass-talkin’ fat, black lady who was always smuggling bacon or salami everywhere she went because she was on the Atkin’s diet.  True story.  So this one should be pretty good. In fact, Pete Hammond‘s already calling it “The most hilarious movie of next summer.”