What with Looper, The Master, Argo, Seven Psychopaths, and all the other must-see movies hitting the theaters in the past month, you may have forgotten all the hype for Tarantino and Django Unchained. Django‘s set for a Christmas day release, and according to reports, may be ready in time to play the Rome Festival next month (I’ll be attending, but between my yacht parties and manservants, who knows if I’ll have a chance to see it?).

Anyway, Jamie Foxx has to become a bounty hunter under the tutelage of Christoph Waltz (a bounty hunter/dentist) so he can rescue his wife Broomhilda von Shaft (yes, that’s her character’s real name) from evil Leonardo DiCaprio, who runs a big plantation where he holds gladiator-style slave fights. Sam Jackson and Don Johnson both have Colonel Sanders hair and fit in there somehow as well. Oh, and Jonah Hill shows up for the first time, appearing to play some kind of Klansman in a scene very reminiscent of O Brother Where Art Thou (am I crazy, or is the guy under the bag who yells at Jonah Hill in this the same guy who played the Klansman/political candidate running against the incumbent in O Brother?). I’m assuming Jamie Foxx eventually gets captured, and all hope looks lost until president Daniel Day-Lewis eventually comes along, frees the slaves, and beats Jonah Hill to death with a bowling pin. Goddamn that would be awesome.

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"Yo Al Qaeda Predator, chiggity check yo self."

With his incredible run of three-consecutive $100 million movies over (unless 10 Years and its $120,000 gross pull off an Octoberfest miracle), Channing Tatum is in need of a super duper blockbuster. While the demand for a re-shoot of his death in GI Joe 2 – moved to 2013 – is a nice touch, it’s still a far cry from what our favorite rec-center-saving-former-stripper deserves. Thankfully, Columbia Pictures knows what we want and the studio has already fast-tracked Roland Emmerich’s White House Down.

Of course, White House Down was actually fast-tracked for a 2013 release because Sony Pictures will release the Hydrox-inspired Olympus Has Fallen (originally White House Taken) in 2014. In fact, here’s a fun game: See if you can guess which plot summary goes with which film.

A former Secret Service agent works to prevent a terrorist attack on the White House.

A Secret Service agent is tasked with saving the life of the U.S. President after the White House is overtaken by a paramilitary group.

The answer? Nobody knows.

But for the record, White House Down is based on a highly-sought-after script, written by James Vanderbilt, and it has Channing Tatum, so it should be perfectly clear that this is the version we will support. Tatum recently stopped by Entertainment Tonight to help build some more buzz for this action film – like it needs it with the awesome storyboards that we exclusively leaked – and I have to admit that I’m dude moist for this.

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That outhouse has a tooth on it, your argument is invalid

Following the domestic trailer that was released last week, The Weinstein Company has released a trailer for Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained for the international markets, which you can watch below. The two trailers are mostly pretty similar, but this new one does have a few new wrinkles, such as…

• We find out Christoph Waltz’s character is not simply a bounty hunter, but a bounty hunter posing as a dentist.

• We get to see a glimpse of Calvin Candie’s (Leonardo DiCaprio) infamous “gladiator-style slave battles.”

• Samuel L. Jackson! (Of course Samuel L. Jackson is in this, Samuel L. Jackson is in everything).

And in this version, Django’s slave driver says simply “no sale,” instead of “last chance, fancy pants.” I’d like to think that was to avoid offending the fancy pants market, which we all know is a much bigger force in Europe.

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For the past few weeks, we’ve been bringing you exclusive updates on the eventual Channing Tatum blockbuster White House Down, which will be directed by Roland Emmerich and gross roughly $16 trillion dollars. Through my anonymous sources, I’ve been able to show you storyboards of C-Tates’ as Secret Service agent Cole “Snoop” Baretta, who was retired from the game, only to be brought back after the President was kidnapped by Colonel Ackbar Muslim, played by John Malkovich.

Originally, we were led to believe that President Jefferson Washington would be played by rapper T-Pain; however, Variety is now reporting that Emmerich and Sony have their hopes set on Jamie Foxx. Unfortunately for Variety and all other news sources, the storyboards keep rolling in and we already had this news. After the jump, check out the latest scene of C-Tates’ White House Down.

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The trailer for Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained was supposed to premiere on Entertainment Tonight at 7:30 ET tonight, but once again I’ve got it prematurely. Ha, classic me. Anyway, Jamie Foxx. Christoph Waltz. Leonardo DiCaprio. Don Johnson. In a Tarantino movie.What else do you need to know?

(*pulls up to curb in flame-covered Chevy Avalanche with truck nutz dangling from the hitch*) (*opens door*) (*takes puff from diamond-encrusted inhaler*) Come with me if you want to see the trailer! (*slams door, screeches away, yells out window*)

SHIIIIT JUUUUUST GOOOOOT REEEEEEEEAL….

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