I know this might not seem newsworthy at first, but you’ll have to indulge me. Turns out, typing the phrase “Wu Tang Flan Ain’t Nothin to F*ck With” is something that had been on my bucket list all along, even if I only realized it just now. It came from a fan of Danger Guerrero’s, and it’s probably the best idea for a themed food truck that someone ever beat us to.

In more movie-related Wu Tang happenings, Jamie Chung recently discussed her work on RZA’s Man with the Iron Fists. Yes, that’s a kung fu movie directed by RZA.

“The original cut was four hours long and RZA was like, ‘Let’s turn it into two movies! [Producer] Eli [Roth] was like, ‘Eh…’” she said about the project.
She added: “They’re really excited and I have complete faith in RZA, he’s a genius when it comes to these things and he knows the genre so well. So, it’s cut down to an hour and a half. Now he’s working on the music. Everyone is stoked but it will have that cool feel like ’36th Chamber of Shaolin’ or ‘Five Deadly Venoms.’ It’s definitely a delicacy and Russell Crowe is doing some amazing things that you would never see him do in film. It’s a fun movie. I think it may come out in August.”

Quentin Tarantino also produced the film, which centers on a blacksmith (RZA) in feudal China who makes weapons for a small village. He is put in the position where he must defend himself and his fellow villagers. Lucy Liu and Pam Grier also star.

In a weird way, Russell Crowe starring in a kung fu movie directed by RZA and produced by Quentin Tarantino makes total sense. At least, I’m intrigued. Maybe not four hours intrigued, but intrigued. Especially if they bring in Ghostface during post to add his own narration. It’d be best if he just showed up not knowing anything about the plot and tried to describe whatever was happening onscreen at the time, a la Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Total Recall DVD commentary. Of course, that’s true of pretty much any movie.

Zack Snyder is through staging fights between stuntmen dressed in cardboard wings, and all that’s left for him now is to finish Sucker Punch, which just released this new trailer.  It stars Emily Browning as a girl who gets sent to some awesome, hot-chicks-only insane asylum, where the only way she can escape is through her power to imagine sexy scenarios.  If you saw Inception and you wondered why everyone’s dreams seemed so much like reality, and you were like, “Hey, where are the dragons and zombies and robot samurai?”  BOOM!  HERE’S THE DRAGONS AND ZOMBIES AND SAMURAI GATLING GUNS!  And of course, the hot chicks will fight them wearing fetishy tights and schoolgirl gear.  I love Zack Snyder, but I worry that this one’s going to be too dry.  C’mon, dude, this isn’t NPR, don’t be afraid to put some cool sh*t in there.

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Sorority Row looks about as good as a movie starring two reality show vets and a child of celebrities could possibly look, and now it has a poster.  And I’ve been sitting here for the last 20 minutes trying to think of a joke that doesn’t involve Rumer Willis’ face being longer than Jamie Chung’s back, but I got nothing.  Sorry, Jesus.

[via IMPA]

• When Prom Goes Bad: A Photo Essay.  I’d love to make a joke about this guy not getting laid on prom night, but if you can convince your date to dress up like Queen Amidala, I imagine talking her panties off is probably a breeze.   |NextRound|
• Killer Movie Deaths. I’m linking this simply because I’m impressed someone remembered Johnny Mnemonic. (Remembered? Mnemonic? Anyone? Bueller?) |ScreenJunkies|
• Parkour on a Bicycle.  Whoa, did anyone else just get an idea for 5 Fast 5 Furious? …Music could’ve been more extreme. |CollegeHumor|
• Audrey Tatou’s Coco Chanel Biopic Trailer.  …As translated by a child. |Videogum|
• Chris Pine Worried He’s Not as Good an Actor as Shatner.  Well duh.  As a wise Simpson’s episode once said, “You’re just trying to get into heaven, you’re not running for Jesus.” |DailyFill|
• A Lesson in Manners …from a Giant Bitch.  |HolyTaco|
• Super Powers You Can Have Today.  Take this bottle of whiskey, for instance.  Its super power is being my best friend. |Atom|
• Hugh Jackman Gets His Handprints on Hollywood Walk, his arms still look like penises. |MeettheFamous|
• Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch Casting News: Female fight flick adds Jena Malone (who was Kristin Stewart before Kristen Stewart) and Jamie Chung – the former Real World San Diego castmember who must have the best agent in Hollywood. Honestly, between this chick and Tila Tequila, if you’re a reasonably attractive Asian chick, get yourself a headshot immediately because it clearly doesn’t take much.

This is the trailer for Sorority Row, in which sorority girls play a prank by pretending their friend is dead, but then the prankee ends up actually killing her, and yadda yadda yadda, pretty much every horror movie ever.  It stars Rumer Willis, Jamie Chung, and Audrina Butterface Patridge.  For those of you keeping score at home, that’s one child of famous people, one former Real-World castmember, and one vacuous moron from a fake reality show about people who stand around blinking.  I just CAN’T UNDERSTAND how our ECONOMY could be FAILING when we live in such a UTOPIAN MERITOCRACY.