RZA from the Wu Tang has long been known as a kung fu film freak, and when you’re RZA from the Wu Tang, you can get famous people to help you make a kung fu film. Think of him as like a non-nepotistic version of Jaden Smith, or Kim Jong-Il if he kidnapped directors not for himself, but for the children. RZA, who says The Man with the Iron Fists surpasses anything he did with Wu Tang, got Eli Roth to co-write the film with him, which is “presented” by Quentin Tarantino, whatever that means.(Man, you do NOT want to be around Quentin when he’s presenting). It opens November 2nd, and this week, the Man with the Iron Fists released three new character trailers, one for Bronze Lion, played by Sanshou/MMA star Cung Le (who’s scheduled to fight Rich Franklin November 10th at UFC on Fuel TV 6) in a silly wig, one for “Brass Body” played by wrestler-turned-MMA heavyweight Dave Bautista, and Madame Blossom, played by Lucy Liu. All their powers seems self-explanatory, as Bronze Lion has bronze fists, Brass Body has a brass body, and Madame Blossom has a flower on her hat and a friend named Six. Also, I can’t get enough of the fact that Dave Bautista’s wrestling name was “Bautista.”

“Whoa! ‘Bautista,’ that’s a tough name! How’d he get it.”

“Well, his real name’s ‘Dave Bautista.’”

“…Oh.”

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A dirty little secret of this blogging game is that I can’t post every single trailer I come across. But when I get an email saying “RZA’s directorial debut is a martial arts epic set in 19th century China and co-starring Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu,” you better believe it’s going up post-haste. Also, this banner image is RZA punching out a guy’s eyeball. Yep, that happened.

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I know this might not seem newsworthy at first, but you’ll have to indulge me. Turns out, typing the phrase “Wu Tang Flan Ain’t Nothin to F*ck With” is something that had been on my bucket list all along, even if I only realized it just now. It came from a fan of Danger Guerrero’s, and it’s probably the best idea for a themed food truck that someone ever beat us to.

In more movie-related Wu Tang happenings, Jamie Chung recently discussed her work on RZA’s Man with the Iron Fists. Yes, that’s a kung fu movie directed by RZA.

“The original cut was four hours long and RZA was like, ‘Let’s turn it into two movies! [Producer] Eli [Roth] was like, ‘Eh…’” she said about the project.
She added: “They’re really excited and I have complete faith in RZA, he’s a genius when it comes to these things and he knows the genre so well. So, it’s cut down to an hour and a half. Now he’s working on the music. Everyone is stoked but it will have that cool feel like ’36th Chamber of Shaolin’ or ‘Five Deadly Venoms.’ It’s definitely a delicacy and Russell Crowe is doing some amazing things that you would never see him do in film. It’s a fun movie. I think it may come out in August.”

Quentin Tarantino also produced the film, which centers on a blacksmith (RZA) in feudal China who makes weapons for a small village. He is put in the position where he must defend himself and his fellow villagers. Lucy Liu and Pam Grier also star.

In a weird way, Russell Crowe starring in a kung fu movie directed by RZA and produced by Quentin Tarantino makes total sense. At least, I’m intrigued. Maybe not four hours intrigued, but intrigued. Especially if they bring in Ghostface during post to add his own narration. It’d be best if he just showed up not knowing anything about the plot and tried to describe whatever was happening onscreen at the time, a la Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Total Recall DVD commentary. Of course, that’s true of pretty much any movie.

Zack Snyder is through staging fights between stuntmen dressed in cardboard wings, and all that’s left for him now is to finish Sucker Punch, which just released this new trailer.  It stars Emily Browning as a girl who gets sent to some awesome, hot-chicks-only insane asylum, where the only way she can escape is through her power to imagine sexy scenarios.  If you saw Inception and you wondered why everyone’s dreams seemed so much like reality, and you were like, “Hey, where are the dragons and zombies and robot samurai?”  BOOM!  HERE’S THE DRAGONS AND ZOMBIES AND SAMURAI GATLING GUNS!  And of course, the hot chicks will fight them wearing fetishy tights and schoolgirl gear.  I love Zack Snyder, but I worry that this one’s going to be too dry.  C’mon, dude, this isn’t NPR, don’t be afraid to put some cool sh*t in there.

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Sorority Row looks about as good as a movie starring two reality show vets and a child of celebrities could possibly look, and now it has a poster.  And I’ve been sitting here for the last 20 minutes trying to think of a joke that doesn’t involve Rumer Willis’ face being longer than Jamie Chung’s back, but I got nothing.  Sorry, Jesus.

[via IMPA]