UPDATE: Looks like it’s more or less official that Wan is taking the job.

Just because Justin Lin bowed out of the Fast and Furious franchise after he finished directing the sixth installment, which opens next month, that’s not going to keep Universal from making 7 Fast 7 Furious. As Vin Diesel put it, “the fans’ desire for the continuation is powerful.” And anyway, it doesn’t take Orson Hitchcock to shoot cars going fast and buff guys yelling. Now, the word is, Universal wants to bring on James Wan, best known for directing the first Saw, as Lin’s replacement. He seems like a perfect choice on account of he’s also an Asian guy who directs dumb movies.

EXCLUSIVE: Universal Pictures has begun negotiations with James Wan to direct the seventh installment of the studio’s mega-buck franchise The Fast And The Furious. I expect a deal to be made probably before the week is out.
Universal Pictures has had plenty of time to consider who’ll take over the race car franchise, and recently they have been working from a very short list. Among the directors they’ve spoken to are Baltazar Kormakur, who helmed Contraband, The Deep and the upcoming 2 Guns with Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg (I don’t think Kormakur is available); Kick-Ass 2 helmer Jeff Wadlow; and The Karate Kid helmer Harold Zwart, whose next is The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones. Wan, who helmed the first installment of Saw, more recently directed the horror smash hit Insidious, and has The Conjuring upcoming.
Wan has gotten the endorsement of Lin. [Deadline]

The next step for Wan is going through the lengthy hazing process that all Fast/Furious directors must face. It starts with a trip to Tyrese’s house, where you have to nod thoughtfully as he explains his many theories on women, and listen patiently as he plays you some tracks off his new album, eyes closed, head bopping earnestly.

Possible Tagline: “All roads lead to thi7.”

There’s a trailer going around the web today for The Conjuring, a new horror movie from Saw and Insidious director James Wan, that’s rightly being buzzed about on account of being more than just the usual collection of creepy kids and loud noises and jump cuts. It shows very little, but manages to create actual tension. I give precious few f*cks about modern “horror” movies, but even I have to give this one credit for looking intriguing. Or at least competent.

Before there was Amityville, there was Harrisville. Based on a true story, “The Conjuring” tells the horrifying tale of how world-renowned paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren were called upon to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse. Forced to confront a powerful demonic entity, the Warrens find themselves caught in the most terrifying case of their lives. [Apple]

Still, I can’t get past the 1:01 mark. “BASED ON A TRUE STORY.” Really? Right after a scene where a ghost pops out of a closet and claps? What part of a ‘true story’ was this based on? What possible meaning could the word “true” even have in this context? What is the point of this title card? Does it really contribute anything? The movie looks okay, but to me the most disturbing part of this trailer is watching them slowly murder English. This is language torture porn.

MacGyver‘s never been far from pop cultural consciousness, and the creator even tried to sue the producers of MacGruber a few years back. That apparently didn’t work out for him, but incredibly, New Line is still moving forward with an actual MacGyver movie. The earnest version usually comes out after the parody, right? That’s how that works?

New Line is cobbling together its “MacGyver” movie, entering talks with James Wan [Saw, Insidious] after the director’s supernatural horror pic “The Conjuring” pleased studio brass.

Obviously, “the studio loved it!” before a real audience has even seen it is always an ironclad guarantor of success.

The 1980s TV series starring Richard Dean Anderson followed Angus MacGyver, an agent of the fictional Phoenix Foundation. MacGyver never carried a gun, using his wits and whatever was lying around to fight criminals.

- “Hey, so we’ve got this movie about a hero who’s super smart and nice and refuses to use a gun. Who should we get to direct it?”
- “I’ve got just the guy! He directed this awesome tortune porn movie about a serial killer who chokes chicks to death their with her own pussy lips!” (I’ve never seen Saw, I assume that’s what it’s about).

No plot details have emerged for the script that Jason Richman drafted and was most recently worked over by Brian and Mark Gunn. Whether Anderson would be involved is not known.
The show was a hit for ABC, running for seven years, spawning two telepics and a 2003 spinoff, “Young MacGyver,” that never got picked up. [Variety]

“Young MacGyver.” Oh yeah, that’s online (embedded below). I know what I’ll be doing on my lunch hour today.

The levels of success for a television series used to be 1. Pilot. 2. Pick up. 3. Syndication. Now it goes 1. Pilot. 2. Pick up. 3. Syndication. 4. Semi-ironic movie adaptation. In fact, Stephen J. Cannell has a second yacht financed solely with irony money.

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Oh, great, another vampire movie.  Director Paul WS Anderson (Resident Evil, Event Horizon, Aliens Vs. Predator, Death Race) has hired James Wan (the creator and director of Saw) to re-write the script for Castlevania and direct it (Anderson will produce).  Re-write. Which means there’s already been at least one script written for a fricken’ Castlevania movie.  MTV reports:

It was going to span hundreds of years, from fifteenth century Transylvania to the European trenches of World War II, yet also would somehow still be an origin story focusing on the genesis of the feud between Dracula and the Belmonts [Ed. - so about 10 hours long then?], the family tasked with battling the vampire and his clan.
That was several years ago, before the writers’ strike and then the sale of Rogue Pictures interrupted Anderson’s plan to bring “Castlevania” to theaters. Now, with the script getting the rewrite treatment and a new director set to helm the flick, Anderson is considerably (and understandably) more tight-lipped when it comes to dishing out details, as MTV News discovered during a recent conversation.

“There’ll be the whip and there’ll be creatures,” Anderson said, referring to Simon Belmont’s weapon of choice and the mythical beasts he battles as he makes his way through Dracula’s castle in the original video game.

Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  A whip?  And creatures?  This changes everything.  This doesn’t look like Van Helsing 2: Van Harder at all.

If I wanted to see a whip and some creatures I’d just go to a gang bang at your mom’s house.

~ robopanda