Review: Trance, an art film about art, and pubic hair

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.12.13

I applaud Trance for being perhaps the only movie I’ve seen to date that uses vagina hair as macguffin (macmuffin?). I didn’t like it much, but the sound designer who created the illusion of Rosario Dawson trimming her pubic hair offscreen by using a sound effect that I can only describe as a wool farmer shearing sheep deserves at least an Oscar, if not a Nobel Prize. She then emerged onscreen looking obviously waxed, incidentally, as if whatever machine she’d been using that sounded like something you’d have to pull start was capable of removing pubic hair follicles at the roots, but I guess that’s just movie magic. Suspension of disbelief, pubes, etc.

In any case, Trance is one of those movies where you can practically feel the storyteller working SOOO HARD to make it obtuse and convoluted and increasingly revelatory, only the story never works in the first place, and you don’t know whether to feel impressed, angry, or sad about all the painstaking embellishments. It’s like this beautifully elaborate origami weave of story strands that I didn’t believe for even a single second. It aspires to be ornate and constructed in the way that Inception is, with a labyrinthine plot that’s like a series of complex keys and locks and levers and combinations that eventually lead to an Advent calendar nugget of catharsis, only in this case your calendar is filled with pigeon shit, because once you scrape away Trance‘s convoluted complex form, the story is at best implausible and at worst laughably stupid. It’s about the journey, I guess. Without presenting a single character that you might care about, it’s just one massive logic leap after another until you want to scream “Dude, where the f*ck are we going with this?!” And there’s never any good answer. But a lot of it seems to come back to pubes, which is interesting.

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James McAvoy steals Mel Gibson’s perfect role in ‘Filth’

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.11.13

It was just the other day that we were getting excited about the mere possibility of a Trainspotting sequel, when here we are today with a full red-band trailer for Filth, an adaptation of another post-Trainspotting novel by Irvine Welsh. I cannae believe me good luck. To be honest, I never expected to see a clean, sweet boy like James McAvoy playing Bruce Robertson, the filthiest filth of filth, who spends half the first-person novel complaining about his various ball rots and venereal diseases – the only piece of literature I’ve ever read that includes a child-like drawing of a penis. But here he is toplining the Welsh adaptation (which probably made getting it financed a lot easier) from director Jon S. Baird. Baird is also Scottish, so this may require subtitles. RopeofSilicon calls it a “Scottish Bad Lieutenant,” and having read the book, I can’t say that that’s inaccurate. Check out the trailer below, but beware of cursing and brief nudity. I kid, I’m sure you’re used to it.

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James McAvoy finally opens up about Rosario Dawson’s pubes

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.02.13

Here’s a bit of late-breaking news for you today, the kind of pube story I drop everything in order to cover. Turns out ROSARIO DAWSON GOES FULLY NUDE, FULLY SHAVED FULL FRONTAL NUDITY for Danny Boyle’s Trance, which opens in a few markets this Friday. (*cashes check from Google, buys rhinestone sweater for cat*)

All of this was revealed in an interview with James McAvoy over at Vulture. It’s a longer interview, but I’ll do my best to clear up the fluff around the edges so that the most important bits are laid bare.

Good to know. [Rosario Dawson] had it a little tougher than you [during the love scene], just because she had to go full-frontal because of your character’s preferences regarding pubic hair.
Yeah, I know! Tough gig! Even when I watched the movie, I was like, “Wow! That’s … ” Hold on for a second. [Says good-bye to someone.] Where were we? Ah, shaving the vagina, as people do.

Well, usually as women do. Men, not so much, at least not for the movies.
I don’t know if that’s true! I think a lot of men shave their, um, their balls and their shaft, but that, that’s just for pornos, which are still technically movies. With Simon, a woman shaving is what he prefers, it is part of his fantasy, but the reason why he likes it is a little deeper than why most guys apparently like it [that's what I always say -Ed]. He has a particular classical and artistically related aesthetic. I don’t know if most guys do like it, by the way. I think most people in porn films seem to like it! But I don’t know if it’s necessarily what people want. Maybe it is.

I haven’t liked Danny Boyle’s increasingly awards-baity output his last few movies, but if this one’s got a frank depiction of Rosario Dawson’s shaved pubes, I’m in. I’m a sucker for that kind of stuff. I’m seeing Trance this week, so I’ll be sure to bring my finest jeweler’s loupe so as to confirm. In any case, it’s nice to hear. Not because I prefer my ladies bald like a cue ball – I prefer them like a well-manicured lawn, truth be told – but lately a lot of these actresses lately have been getting away with saying they’re going “full frontal” when really, they’re just wearing a merkin suit. You call that brave? Hell, you give me a merkin diaper and I’ll march right down to the local Starbucks and order us a foamy latte in front of everyone. It doesn’t count of you’re not showing off the real McAvoy. Boy, this post went downhill fast. Almost instantly, really. By the way, here’s an actual email I sent Burnsy a few minutes ago:

“Hey, hope you don’t mind, but I bumped your last post to tomorrow so I could cover Rosario Dawson’s pubes.”

[picture source Featureflash / Shutterstock.com]

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Your new ‘The Crow’ is… James McAvoy?

Written by Vince Mancini / 02.26.13

Last time we heard about Relativity Media’s reboot (remake?) of The Crow, Juan Carlos Fresnadillo was directing and it was set to star Bradley Cooper in the lead. Which is like casting the captain of the lacrosse team as the head goth. To make matters worse, leaked concept art had Cooper wearing a top hat like Slash with a vest and basically looking like a Jonas Brother with eyeliner (the horror…). Fresnadillo and Cooper both wisely bailed on the project in late 2011, and, I sh*t you not, Relativity wanted to cast Mark Wahlberg or Channing Tatum instead. Now they’ve got another three-named Latino directing, F. Javier Gutierrez, and word is that James McAvoy is “circling” the lead, whatever that means.

Anyone else wonder if they just floated those ideas about Bradley Cooper and Channing Tatum so that this one would sound less stupid?

Bloody Disgusting has been on the forefront on most of the casting news for Relativity’s The Crow reboot. And even though we were once mocked for announcing that Mark Wahlberg was in serious discussion, it eventually came out via the actor that we were 100% correct. The same insider is back again with another whopper of a tip…
James McAvoy, who blew our minds as Charles Xavier in X-Men: First Class, is circling Relativity’s long-gestured remake. He would star as Eric Draven, a man brutally murdered whom comes back to life as an undead avenger of his and his fiancée’s murder. [Bloody-Disgusting]

Back in 1994, those heady days of Friends and Green Day starting mudfights, a goth hero in face paint and tight black leathers killing people and wailing on the guitar seemed fresh and kind of novel (as did Bai Ling). In 2013, I have to assume that we’re going to get Slipknot songs and a Crow who looks like Mask from Tapout (*pours out energy drink*). I mean Slipknot is best case scenario. But who knows, I’m sure the company that thought Brad Cooper in a tophat was a good idea can make the kind of creative decisions that will keep this both fresh and respectful. Godspeed, you geniuses.

My idea for a reboot is called The Crowe, about a fat Australian who goes around throwing meat pies at people who make fun of his band. The key to his invincibility is an old hoagie he keeps in his pocket.

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Gandalf and Picard are returning to X-Men 4 minus 3 plus 1

Written by Vince Mancini / 11.27.12

The X-Men visit a no-touch strip club.

I was as shocked as anyone when X-Men: First Class actually turned out kinda good. But the inevitable sequel is moving forward without original director Matthew Vaughn (original director of the prequel, that is…) , and with an awful title, “Days of Future Past.” But Bryan Singer is on to direct, and though he hasn’t directed anything good since 2003, he at least has it in him, and from the sounds of it, he’s got the cast of X-Men: First Class returning, with the added bonus of Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan. Singer himself broke the news this morning on Twitter.

We already sort of assumed the plot would involve time travel from the title; the casting of young and old Professor X and Magneto all but confirms it. At the least, you imagine it will involve a heavy flashback element. Which is a good thing, because at its core, X-Men is really a story about a bromance between a psychic cripple and a tattooed holocaust survivor with a huge dong. Polish up the awards, this thing’s as Oscar baity as The Reader.

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