Did you enjoy X-Men:First Class?  Ha! Fox tricked you! Their fluke enjoyable movie was all just a ruse to make another unwanted sequel to a rightfully forgotten franchise! Ever since Darren Aronofsky pretended to want to direct it for a few months and then went out for a pack of cigs and never came back, Wolverine 2 has been looking for a new daddy.  Now it seems they’ve found it in the form of James Mangold, whose filmography includes some solid flicks like 3:10 to Yuma and Copland, some overrated mehs like Girl Interrupted and Walk the Line, and some stinkers like Kate & Leopold and (*gulp*) Knight and Day. Deadline reports that Mangold is the first choice of both Hugh Jackman** (who apparently holds no grudges about Kate & Leopold) and 20th Century Fox.  So I guess you could say Hugh Jackman is digging for Man Gold.

Negotiations are about to get underway, but I’m told that Mangold will take the helming job on the sequel to the X-Men spinoff film, a post that became vacant when Darren Aronofsky dropped out of the film in March. I’d heard that Mangold was on a very short list coming into this week, along with Warrior director Gavin O’Connor and Brooklyn’s Finest helmer Antoine Fuqua. I’ve heard that Fox will look to start principal photography in the fall. Scripted by Christopher McQuarrie, The Wolverine takes place mostly in Japan. [Deadline]

With James Mangold directing Christopher McQuarrie, there’s a chance we could get Usual Suspects meets 3:10 to Yuma, but also a chance we get The Tourist meets Knight and Day.  Too early to tell, really.  But I’ll say this, I’m already off to a great start on my X-Men-themed gay porn parody, MAN GOLD: JackMan vs. Assbender.

**Does six-foot Hugh Jackman playing a superhero who’s supposed to be short cancel out elfin Tom Cruise playing a guy who’s supposed to be 6’5″?  Discuss.

Jake Gyllenhaal’s been a gay cowboy, a white Persian, a Marine, a Marine’s brother, a bubble boy, and now he’ll be Broadway Joe (aren’t you impressed I can read IMDB?).  Gyllenhaal has actually been attached to the project like Andy Garcia’s malformed twin for a couple years now.  The only new development is that, according to some Pajiba dork I pantsed in the quad, director James Mangold has been hired, which may kick the project back into high gear.

The project is finally finding some traction, although at this point, Universal Pictures is looking to take another pass at David Hollander’s script before it moves into production.
Where that puts it in Mangold’s queue is an open question — he doesn’t have a go project at the time, and once Gyllenhall finishes filming Source Code for Duncan Jones, he’s got nothing else ready for lensing yet, either. Moreover, the fact that Mangold just came aboard Namath in recent weeks (after it stalled for two years) suggests that it could be warming up for production soon.

Joe Namath is of course the kid from Beaver Falls, PA who rode quarterbacking stints at the University of Alabama under Bear Bryant and the New York Jets (famously guaranteeing victory over the Colts in Super Bowl III) into a literal beaver fall.  Or would it be a figurative beaver fall?  Point is, there were lots of vaginas around.  And probably they were really hairy ones, as that was the style at the time.   Another guy who famously likes hairy vaginas is Mo’Nique’s husband. Where was I?  Right, Joe Namath.  Following his playing career, he again made headlines for trying to kiss sideline reporter Suzy Kolber on live TV and having a nose that resembles a red potato.  Jake Gyllenhaal seems too short and stocky to play him, but one thing they both have in common is sore knees.  Oh right, like you didn’t know I would this into a gay joke somehow.

"Hey, I'm comin' over later, tell your mom not to shower!"

Update: Now with working video again.

IMDB premiered the newest trailer for Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz’ Knight and Day last night, and it doesn’t look as bad as I’d expect from a Fox spy comedy starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz and an awful title like “Knight and Day.”  Which I realize is like getting kicked in the nuts and then being pleasantly surprised by how few times you puked (story of my weekend).  But it was directed by James Mangold, who does have a couple decent movies on his resume, and Tom Cruise is at his best like this when he’s playing a borderline sociopath who may be schizophrenic.  It’s playing a normal human with normal human emotions he has trouble with.

Also, I don’t know where the comedy comes in.  I guess this is kind of an easier way to write comedy.  Instead of writing sharp dialog or funny situations, you just write a crazy car chase gun fight scene and have the characters act glib about it.  Easier on the actors too.

*747 crashes onto lawn*

TOM CRUISE: Great! Don’t have to mow this week!

*chokes out terrorist*

Knight and Day, which stars Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz, just released a poster.  It used to be called Wichita, but someone at 20th Century Fox thought that didn’t sound enough like a moronic sitcom from the 80s, so now it’s Knight and Day.  Then they left the two huge stars’ faces off the poster so you could better focus on what a hilarious pun it is.  ET also did a segment on it recently, and you can see that footage after the jump.

Knight and Day, opening July 2, centers on a lonely woman (Cameron Diaz) whose seemingly harmless blind date suddenly turns her life upside-down when a super spy (Tom Cruise) takes her on a violent worldwide journey to protect a powerful battery that holds the key to an infinite power source. [ComingSoon]

Diaz claims the film will showcase Tom Cruise’s alleged comedic chops which he allegedly displayed in Tropic Thunder.  You know, as long as there aren’t any gays around.

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Since May, Tom Cruise has been attached to 20th Century Fox’s Wichita, a surprisingly decent-sounding (for Fox) action comedy from 3:10 to Yuma director James Mangold, co-starring Cameron Diaz.  The project had been known previously as “Wichita” and “Trouble Man”, but Fox apparently decided it needed a new title that more fit the studio who brought us Big Momma’s House, Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakwel, etc.  So now it’s called… KNIGHT & DAY.

Horrible puns in the title always make for horrible movies — see also: All About Steve, Made of Honor, the Russell Brand-Easter bunny movie entitled I Hop.  Was it really worth changing the name just to humor the executive who tells everyone how clever his niece is?  “Knight & Day” makes it sound like an 80s buddy flick, in which former radio comedy team Hank Knight and Everette Day have to put aside their differences and reunite for one more big score.  In short, it sounds like the 1989 Babaloo Mandel pilot, “Knight & Daye,” starring Marty in the Morning’s Joe Cipriano.  And no, I didn’t make any of that up.  Well done, Fox.  Looks like you really “Mangold” this one!  Hey, are you hiring?