I go back and forth about whether it’s true, but regardless, I prefer to think of James Franco’s non-film pursuits as an elaborate, tongue-in-cheek joke on the art world, because in that light, it’s incredible. Here’s how he pitches “Birdshit,” a “multi-media performance piece”… uh… performed? under the guidance of Franco:

Inspired by Chekhov’s The Seagull with elements of Ginsberg’s Kaddish, BirdShit is a multimedia performance piece that combines theater, dance, video, live and pre-recorded music, and a few surprise elements.

BirdShit has been commandeered by artist and musician, Nina Ljeti, choreographer, Chloe Kernaghan, and NYU Graduate Film students Joshua Richards, Zach Kershberg and Tine Thomasen, under the guidance of James Franco.

NOW YOU TOO CAN JOIN THEIR DISAPPOINTED PARENTS AS A SPONSOR!

Two performances will take place at MoMA PS1 in New York City as a part of their Sunday Sessions programming on April 7th at the VW Dome; the perfect venue for this experimental interpretation that explores ideas of artistic pressure, love, and hysteria.

And of course this is all communicated perfectly by a 60-second video of a guy in a bathroom getting white paint dripped into his eyes, nose, and mouth. You know, now that I think about it, I think the paint might be a metaphor for bird sh*t.

“Inspired by Chekhov’s The Seagull.” Ahahahahahahahaha, oh man, I just got that. What about Hitchcock’s The Birds, or Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven? ALL WEEK AT MOMA, JAMES FRANCO, IN… I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (because he has to shit).

Read the rest of this entry »

In the past I’ve done these photo diary posts for Comic-Con and Sundance, so I thought, why not do another one for SXSW? That’s way easier than coming up with something new! And for you, it’ll be just like you’re here, but without any of the good parts. So anyway, here goes. Above, you can see the placard for the Vimeo Theater panel entitled, “A Conversation with Matthew McConaughey,” which didn’t turn out quite as amazing as I’d hoped, mainly due to a distinct lack of shirtlessness or talk of borrowed hoodies. But it was still unmissable for obvious reasons. We’ll get to all that in a second, but in the meantime – is this not some of the most intriguing signage ever?! Controversial, but I say yes.

Read the rest of this entry »

Kool Aid & Nunchuks

Spring Breakers may suffer from the high-expectations problem. I tried to temper my excitement going in, but with new pictures of nubile girls in bikinis and slow-motion trailer footage of James Franco with an AK going around the internet every day, it was hard. I so much love the idea that the guy from Kids partnered up with Dicknose Franco to film an over-the-top teeny-bopper panty party of exploited former Mouseketeers that I don’t know that the actual movie could ever hope to live up to it.

The first thing you should know going in is that Spring Breakers is not a movie that progresses much past the initial idea. You know how they repeat “Spring Breeeak” about 15 times in the trailer? The movie is exactly like that, just… more. I didn’t count, but I’d estimate they repeat “Spring Break” about 250 times. To be fair, it sounds really cool the way James Franco says it. Spriiiiing breaaaaak. Spring breeeak, y’all. Spring break fa evaaa. Point being, it’s not a movie you should go into looking for character development. It’s an extended visual joke, a partly satirical celebration of shallowness, materialism, and decadence. It feels more like a visual art installation adapted to a feature rather than a feature in its own right. It can feel like Harmony Korine stuffing newspapers into a feature hat so it’ll fit on Spring Breakers‘ little head, and at times you really notice the newspaper. The characters repeat the same things over and over. The editor must have worn the plastic shell off the button for “gun cocking sound effect.” And I’m pretty sure Spring Breakers breaks the South Park movie’s record for most uses of the word “f*ck.” As I heard someone say on the way out of the theater, “I felt like I was trapped in a music video I didn’t want to be in.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Back in November, actor/dick-noser James Franco purchased a 1920s mini-compound home in Silver Lake for approximately $775,000, presumably because it was built by filmmaker DW Griffith and that just seems like the kind of reason Franco would shell out a ton of money for a three-bedroom home. Living with Franco, though, is his friend and production partner Vince Jolivette, which would make it kind of obvious that Franco intended to make his home an office as well.

As it turns out, he has just done just that, except instead of an office he has turned it into more of a production studio and instead of a home, he doesn’t actually live there and just has people coming and going as they please, much to the dismay of other residents. At least that’s what his neighbors are telling everyone, because they simply can’t stand Franco anymore.

Read the rest of this entry »

Because I’m a very important man with a library of leather-bound volumes and a collection of the finest lanyards, I was able to attend the American premiere of Spring Breakers last night at SXSW ‘s Paramount Theater in Austin. I’ll have a full review for you eventually, but suffice it to say, the film has lots of nudity, and while I didn’t count, I’d be surprised if it didn’t break South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut‘s record for most uses of the word “f*ck.” And I don’t think there was a single second of screen time that didn’t involve sex, guns, drugs, money or some combination of the above. To sum up, I’d say: Spring Breakers: Many f*cks spoken, none given.

Director Harmony Korine did a Q & A afterwards, joined by James Franco and all the girls except Vanessa Hudgens, who stayed home sick. And if you’ve ever seen Harmony Korine’s old appearances on David Letterman (video included below) you can imagine how entertaining a Harmony Korine Q & A might be. He wasn’t quite as nutty on this particular night, but the talk still had its highlights. After explaining how the look of the movie grew out of his fascination with fraternity forums and coed porno (“Harmony knows all the weirdest websites,” Franco added, stating the obvious), an audience member asked Korine if there were any scenes that he was particularly fond of that didn’t make the final cut of the film. And let’s just say his answer makes me extremely excited to see the deleted scenes on the DVD. (This is paraphrased, because I didn’t use my tape recorder).

“At one point I had them [the girls] robbing this chubby surfer. They’re screaming at him, and they pull his pants down, and it turns out he has a huge penis, and as they’re yelling at him, he starts to get aroused. And then we see them talking and laughing about it later, and it’s just this really beautiful moment, there’s something almost romantic about it, in a way.”

Yep, a fat surfer with a huge penis getting screamed into a state of heightened embonerment by some nubile teens. But in a romantic way. As if there was any other.

I don’t know what would be better, if this scene actually exists, or if he made it all up as a joke. Regardless, I would love to watch a ten-hour compilation of scenes that Harmony Korine himself deemed too “out there” to make it one of his films. They’d be like Michael Bay’s discarded takes of explosions he found too kablooey.

Read the rest of this entry »