"Eat my litter box, you dirty sky primate!"

Disney has announced a historic partnership with James Cameron and Jon Landau to bring Avatar-themed attractions to Disney theme parks. Which probably won’t be as much fun as, say, gay Avatar-themed sex parties, but will be fun for the whole family. NOBLE SAVAGES GET IN HALF-PRICE!

If the sign for Pandora-land isn’t in Papyrus font, there is no God.

The first themed “land” will be built at Disney World in Orlando, Florida, with construction expected to start by 2013.
The first Avatar attraction will be inside the Animal Kingdom park. Disney said this was chosen because “with its emphasis on living in harmony with nature, Animal Kingdom is a natural fit for the Avatar stories, which share the same philosophy.”

Yes, because nothing says “living in harmony with nature” like “Orlando, Florida.”

Or, as the Avatards on the Avatar forums put it, “The Na’vi are so pure in everything they do, valueing life to their utmost potential. i would so much rather leave this life style and world to live their ways in their world. I think it would be sad to see us humans currupt the Na’vi into the (sorry to say) monsters most humans have become.” [sic]

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"I love you, Mr. Jim, will you be my new Papa?"

You may remember late last year James Cameron visiting a group of tribes along the Xingu River in the Amazon basin (and if not, just look at the amazing pictures).  He’d been planning a documentary (in 3D, natch) on the tribes, following their struggle against a Brazilian dam project that would drown all their purple pterodactyl horses or whatever.  More bad news today, it sounds like Giovanni Ribisi just sunk his putt:

Brazil’s environment agency gave its definitive approval on Wednesday for construction of the Belo Monte hydroelectric dam, a controversial $17 billion project in the Amazon.
Government has said the 11,200-megawatt project, due to start producing electricity in 2015, is crucial to provide power to Brazil’s fast-growing economy. It will be the world’s third biggest hydroelectric dam after China’s Three Gorges and Itaipu on the border of Brazil and Paraguay.
Critics from singer Sting to Hollywood director James Cameron and environmental group Greenpeace have said the dam will damage the environment and harm thousands of people living in the region.
The 6-km-long (3.75-mile) dam will displace 30,000 river dwellers, partially dry up a 100-km (62-mile) stretch of the Xingu river, and flood large areas of forest and grass land. [Reuters]

More:

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You might remember the other day when I posted a quote from Albert Books telling Adam Carolla about one of his least favorite screenwriting tics — when characters constantly, unrealistically address each other by name, just so we don’t forget their names.  Specifically, Brooks said:

“There are things I can’t stand in movies, that can be so easily fixed. I don’t like peoples’ names. [...] Just to say it all the time… it’s sloppy writing.  I’ll tell you a fun game when you have nothing to do: watch Titanic and count how many times he says ‘Rose.’  It must be five thousand. [...] I think he even says it underwater.”

That seemed like a great idea, so right after I transcribed the quote, I opened the zippered ear hole on Oliver’s gimp suit and whispered, “Hey, you should make a mash-up of that,” and then hit him in the crotch with a wiffle bat.  Being the good slave/video editor that he is, after he came, Oliver delivered a video even better than I could’ve imagined.  Not only does Leo say “Rose” a ridiculous number of times, Kate Winslet says “Jack” an equally-ridiculous amount. Jack! What is it, Rose? Jack, don’t die, Jack!  ROSE! Not without you, Rose! I love you, Rose!  Don’t marry Billy Zane, Rose, he doesn’t know the Rose I know!  Jack, I love you too, Jack! Jack, I’m married to Billy Zane but really it’s Jack that I love, Jack! Jack! Rose! Rose! Jack! …

We even made a game out of it.  So which do you think they say more?  Place your bets below…

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This being a movie site, we could sit here all day speculating on what projects James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger might be discussing on their trip to the Amazon this week.  But the truth is, no one knows, and I’d rather just savor this incredible picture on its own merits.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER THOUGHT BUBBLE
Wait, *this* is Brazil?  Where’s all the mulatto ass?  …This truly is a land of contradictions.

JAMES CAMERON THOUGHT BUBBLE:
I wonder if this noble savage knows I burn piles of money to keep my gold bars warm.  Ooh! Maybe it has a retarded sibling or something that I could hunt for sport!  Wait, relax, Cameron, don’t wanna seem to eager.  Try to look interested in this cultural crap first.

"And here's an endangered sea snake I once used to strangle a high-priced prostitute."

[via Arnie's Twitter]

Critics of Chris Nolan says he’s too mechanical, always putting plot trickery and impressive visuals over character development.  You’ll never believe this, but one of his great defenders is James Cameron.

“I loved Inception, and I wish that it had gotten more,” Cameron told THR Monday at the Hollywood premiere of Sanctum. “I wish Chris Nolan had gotten nominated for directing that film because I think that it’s the most astounding piece of film creation and direction of the year, hands down … but now it’s not even in the running. So I diverge from the Academy’s taste in a lot of ways.” [THR]

To be fair, if I designed an entire hallway that spun 360 degrees and shot a $160 million film in like 20 different countries, and they ended up d*cking me over for some guy who filmed a stuttering prince, I’d be pretty pissed.   Luckily, Chris Nolan is all polite and British.  Here’s what he had to say after Inception took home four awards from the Visual Effects Society:

“I’m often quoted in the press talking about visual effects like an actress talks about her use of botox… I know visual effects people pride themselves on doing the impossible. I’d just like to encourage you to say no to the unreasonable.” [Deadline via ThePlaylist]

That night: The VFX people clap maniacally at Chris Nolan’s humble wisdom.

The Next Day: James Cameron bursts in the door.  “Okay, guys, I’m going to need a hot pink rhino with leopard spots sliding down a purple mountain on snow shoes and three magenta tiger-striped pterodactyls shooting fireballs from their butt.  And of course I’m gonna want those fireballs in periwinkle blue.”