MGM just released the first official still from Skyfall, the Sam Mendes-directed 23rd Bond movie. If nothing else, our fears that they’d turned Bond into a female impersonator in blackface appear to have been unfounded. Same old Bond, y’all. Though Daniel Craig does look a little more brow-heavy than usual. Quite a neanderthal take on Bond, this. “Name Bond. Jame Bond.” (*bonks lady on the head*)

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It’s about time someone gave the James Bond theme the vulgar lyrics it deserved, and for that we have Running Corners to thank. Among the highlights, James Bond will ski on your lunch if he wants, kills people with Judo, and has banged 839 sluts.

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Looks like you can add Daniel Craig to the list of people who thought Quantum of Solace sucked, meaning he must’ve seen it.

From a recent interview in Time Out London:

It seems that the script is sometimes an after-thought on huge productions.

‘Yes and you swear that you’ll never get involved with sh*t like that, and it happens. On “Quantum”, we were f*cked. We had the bare bones of a script and then there was a writers’ strike and there was nothing we could do. We couldn’t employ a writer to finish it. I say to myself, “Never again”, but who knows? There was me trying to rewrite scenes – and a writer I am not.’

You had to rewrite scenes yourself?

‘Me and the director [Marc Forster] were the ones allowed to do it. The rules were that you couldn’t employ anyone as a writer, but the actor and director could work on scenes together. We were stuffed. We got away with it, but only just. It was never meant to be as much of a sequel as it was, but it ended up being a sequel, starting where the last one finished.’

I tend to find it refreshing when actors admit certain movies they were in sucked, but the last time someone blamed the writer’s strike for a movie sucking it was Michael Bay on Transformers 2, and then he followed it up Transformers 3, which was just as sucky except for one scene with wingsuits, which doesn’t exactly seem like something you need Charlie Kaufman for. But it’s a lot easier to believe a movie will be better than its predecessor when the director is Oscar-winner Sam Mendes than it is when it’s Michael Bay, who won’t eat pancakes unless his personal chef makes them in the shape of explosions.

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As predicted a few weeks ago based on Sony’s domain name purchases, the 23rd Bond movie will indeed be called “Skyfall,” which was confirmed by EON pictures, Sony, and MGM during a press conference this morning.

The film, from Albert R. Broccoli’s Eon Productions, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, and Sony Pictures Entertainment, is directed by Academy Award® winner Sam Mendes and stars Daniel Craig, who returns for his third film as James Bond 007. The screenplay is written by Neal Purvis & Robert Wade and John Logan. SKYFALL, which goes into production on Monday, November 7th, will begin its worldwide roll-out in the UK and Ireland on October 26th 2012 and in North America on November 9th 2012.
Joining Michael G. Wilson, Barbara Broccoli and Director Sam Mendes were members of the cast of SKYFALL, including: Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Dame Judi Dench, Naomie Harris and Berenice Marlohe. The filmmakers also announced Ralph Fiennes, Albert Finney and Ben Whishaw.
In SKYFALL, Bond’s loyalty to M is tested as her past comes back to haunt her. As MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost. [via ComingSoon]

So it seems they went with another vague-sounding, inscrutable title in the vein of Quantum of Solace, which doesn’t exactly bode well. Come on, you can’t just smash some vaguely-related violent words together and call it a day! That’s not a title, at best it’s a failed portmanteau. Why not “Smashwreck” or “Bloodwound” or “Gasfart?” I liked it better when the titles were made out or real words, and gave you the distinct sense that you’d be seeing a James Bond movie. I’d feel much better about this if it was called something catchier, like The Slut Who Jet-packed Me, or The Island of Dr. Velociraptor. License to Skysurf.

Late yesterday afternoon it was widely reported that jandsome Spaniard Javier Bardem would play the villain in the next Yames Bond movie, and “Javier Bardem” even became a trending topic on Twitter. Which was news to me, as I was under the impression that we already knew this three months ago. Nonetheless, it did give me the opportunity to post this picture of Bardem enjoying a Daniel Craig popsicle, so all is forgiven. “Jugo de Bond? Delicioso.”

The film is scheduled to announce the beginning of production next month, with American Beauty‘s Sam Mendes on to direct, and Ralph Fiennes “strongly rumored” to co-star. Meanwhile, Fusible.com reported a few days ago that a company Sony uses to register domain names recently registered such names as “Skyfall” and “jamesbondskyfall,” leading to widespread speculation (still unconfirmed) that Bond 23 will be called “Skyfall.”

So I guess if the plan is to give glib critics their easiest headline in years, this should be perfect. Mmm, more like “Skyfail,” am I right? (*thumbs nose, eats Cheetos*). Easiest. Review. Ever.