"Get out of the way, lady, my Corvette is dirty."

After the jump, it’s the red-band trailer for Bad Teacher, starring Cam’ron Diaz and Justin Timberlake.  I read this script a while back and really liked it, but then Sony hired Cameron Diaz to play the lead and her then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake to play her love interest, the kind of decision that only makes sense if you’re a studio exec.  On the plus side, Jake Kasdan is directing (of Orange County and the criminally underrated Walk Hard) and Jason Segel has a supporting role.  Maybe I can still pretend to buy Cameron Diaz in this role long enough to enjoy it?  It’s going to be hard, but if I can get Burnsy to stop feeding me popcorn with his big man paws like he usually does, I might be able to manage.

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Cameron Diaz is set to star in Bad Teacher, a script by Office writers Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky that made the 2008 black list, set to be directed by Jake Kasdan (Walk Hard).

Story centers on a foulmouthed, gold-digging middle-school teacher who, after getting dumped by her boyfriend, competes with a colleague for the affections of the school’s model teacher.  Now that the studio has its leading lady, production is set to begin in the spring in Los Angeles. [Variety]

I actually read the script for this and it was really funny.  The lead is kind of a female version of Kenny Powers, or Bad Santa — simple concept, funny lines.  It’s disappointing the studio went with Cameron Diaz for this.  Not because I have strong feelings against her, it’s just that this kind of movie needs a talented comedic actress, not an established star trying to reinvent herself.  It’s this old-fart studio mentality that a comedy needs a marquee actor to carry it, so they just pick a famous person instead of finding someone that fits who’s, you know, funny.  Comedy doesn’t rely on stars to sell it, it relies on jokes.  And it’s that much better if it’s someone new — see: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, or Zach Galifianakis — rather than someone who’s already burned us a few times.   You put Cameron Diaz in this movie and for all the upside of it raising its profile, there’s twice the downside when people lump it in with What Happens in Vegas.  And no one wants another What Happens in Vegas.  No one except… you guessed it, Danny Masterson.

Jake Kasdan has come on a board to direct Bad Teacher, a script by Office/Year One/Ghostbusters 3 writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg which sounds basically like Eastbound & Down if Kenny Powers had a uterus.

Sold to Columbia pictures last August, the original screenplay concerns a foul-mouthed seventh grade teacher who is dumped by her sugar daddy and starts to pursue a colleague, which provokes conflict with the school’s model teacher. [THR]

[say /Film, who've apparently read it]: Screenplay revolves around Elizabeth Halsey, a teacher with a cussin’ problem who ends up in a bitter rivalry with her squeaky-clean colleague Amy Squirrel. Elizabeth is the sort of girl who wakes up at 3.40 in the afternoon, looks for breakfast in the fridge but finds only packets of ketchup, mustard and soy sauce so turns to her bong instead.

The good news is that the project was on the black list, and actually started with a screenplay, rather than some bonehead pitch by a studio exec (“What if… Kevin James… has to babysit a cat!”).  And Jake Kasdan has been around, last directing Walk Hard, which I thought looked pretty funny.  Then again, I never actually saw it.  So really, I guess it’s kind of like when a hobo asks me for money and I reach in my pocket for some change but then I think, “Ah, f*ck it.”