After the jump, it’s the trailer for End of Watch, starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña, from Street Kings director David Ayer – whose name is of course Spanish for “David Yesterday.” It’s sort of a found-footage premise (“the action unfolds entirely through footage from the handheld HD cameras of the police officers, gang members, surveillance cameras, and citizens caught in the line of fire“), but to be honest, I didn’t even notice until I read the synopsis. All I saw was an interracial buddy-cop movie with a Mexican in it, just in time for Cinco De Mayo! (*shoots pistols in the air, passes out under a cactus*) Sadly, it looks to be more Training Day than Lethal Weapon, which is a shame, because everyone knows a Mexican cop doesn’t need a bomb rigged to his toilet to blow it up. Whackety schmackety hacer (*tapdances off stage in pointy boots*).

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Here’s Jake Gyllenhaal starring in a weird French music video in which he kills hipsters with a fencing sword, because why wouldn’t he? |EgoTVOnline|

MORNING LINKS
COME SEE ME DO COMEDY IN LA THIS WEEK! Come for me, stay for Pauly (Saturday), Joe King (Thursday, Friday), or Maria F*cking Bamford (Saturday)! THURSDAY: Pasadena Ice House. FRIDAY: Bar Lubitch. SATURDAY: Hollywood Improv. I promise new material, for those who’ve seen me before. |Events|

This Week in Posters and Promo Stills: Happytime Murders, Edward Penishands |FilmDrunk|

12 Questionably GIF-mmortalized Channing Tatum Acting Moments |UPROXX|

President Obama Picks North Carolina To Win The NCAA Tournament |With Leather|

10 Utterly Bizarre YouTube Remakes of Famous ‘SNL’ Sketches |Warming Glow|

44 Reasons Gillian Anderson Is Awesome |Buzzfeed|

Russell Brand opens up about throwing some dude’s phone. |TheSuperficial|

The week’s top 10 animal videos, yay! My favorite kind of videos! |Videogum|

Staten Island man finds a California King Snake in his toilet. |TheDailyWhat|

7 Sites You Should Be Wasting Time On Right Now |HuffPost Comedy|

The six most terrifying implications of the Harry Potter universe |FARK|

5 things we’ll miss about real encyclopedias. |HolyTaco|

Why is chocolate bad for dogs? |MentalFloss|

Introducing Danny Trejo’s ‘Hey Girl’ Meme, For the Girl that Wants a Real Man |Pajiba|

Five Badass Actors That Got Stabbed And Lived |Unreality|

Subscribe to the Frotcast on iTunes. Fan FilmDrunk on Facebook. Follow Vince on Twitter. Nominate for Comments of the Week.

Fine, Jake, fine. I’ll say it: cool t-shirt. Not many people can pull off “novelty t-shirt,” but you, Mr. Gyllenhaal, clearly have “it.” My only concern is that he looks a little glum.  Someone get him a sandwich, that always seems brighten him up.

UPDATE: A few people are calling Photoshop on this one. I was willing to believe it, but taking a closer look, I have  to agree with them (the graphic doesn’t follow the contour of the shirt, especially near the crease, and the blacks are darker than anything else in the photo). But let’s have our fun before someone sends me the original as definitive proof.

"Awesome story, Jake! Sandwich bump!"

This one is clearly not Photoshopped.

[via TheConjecturer -- thanks to handsome Marine Matt Ufford for the tip]

"Haha, awesome story, Jake! Sandwich bump!"

MORNING LINKS

• Pop Culture Currency: Abraham Lincoln, Shapeshifter [Uproxx]
• 51-year-old actor who looks 40 marries “16-year-old” country “singer” who also looks 40 [WarmingGlow]
• Insane Clown Posse doesn’t understand fair use [Uproxx]
• BIONIC DOG! |GammaSquad|
• A Letter To Roger Goodell From Timmy, Age 9 [KSK]
• Delta pissed on this guy’s clothes. |TheDailyWhat|
• Paris Hilton got dumped. |TheSuperficial|
• Heidi Fahrenbach rocks the hand bra AND hand panties. |GorillaMask|
• The best scenes from Green Lantern, as remembered by Topless Robot. |ToplessRobot|
• Man sought for hiding in the toilet of a porta potty during a yoga festival. Also, he’s 6’6″.  |BostonStool|
• Eagles may not actually steal blackberries, but they do drop baby deer on power lines and knock out power. |Yahoo|
• Barack Obama calms down a baby like a boss. Just don’t let it watch Too Big to Fail. |Videogum|
• 10 awesome cult movie posters. |Nerve|
• What Moms Have To Put Up With [Buzzfeed]
• Roger Ebert’s most controversial statements. |Screenjunkies|
• 24 Awesome Summer 2011 Music Festivals: European Backpacking Edition [Brobible]
• Ken Jeong’s Awesome, Real CPR Commercial [Unreality]
• The FDA’s new graphic cigarette warnings. |HolyTaco|

FAN US ON FACEBOOK (please?). SUBSCRIBE TO THE FROTCAST. NOMINATE COMMENTS OF THE WEEK.

MEANWHILE, IN EASTERN EUROPE…

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Sci-fi action flick Source Code opens April 1st and Summit just made available the first five minutes for you to watch online.  As a general rule, there aren’t too many decent mainstream, wide-release Hollywood sci-fi movies anymore, but this one was directed by Duncan Jones, previously of the acclaimed Moon, who’s not only seen as an up and comer by sci fi nerds, but also holds the distinction of being possibly the only person in entertainment who changed his stage name to something less fancy.  Thanks to his dad being David Bowie, he was born “Zowie Bowie,” which he changed to Duncan Jones when he was 18.  I think a good way to tell you’ve failed at baby naming is if your kid decides he wants to be called “Duncan” while he’s still a teenager.

Anyway, the plot of Source Code is that the government has developed the technology to allow Jake Gyllenhaal to relive the last eight minutes of another guy’s life before he was awesomely exploded in a terrorist train bombing.  They want Jake to find the terrorist and prevent the next bombing, but of course all he wants to do is bang the dead guy’s dead girlfriend.  But is eight minutes enough time to convince a girl to bang you on a train when she doesn’t even know you’re a famous movie star?  Find out this April.

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