Howdy, folks.  This week I’ve got a copy of The Goods on DVD to give away.  I was going to write a full review of it, but suffice to say, it doesn’t quite hang together as a whole movie, but it has some big laughs.  It’s just about what you want out of a DVD, actually.  Anyway, Donkey Hodey and ChinoMoreno won last week so I’m disqualifying them from this prize, but I will say they probably deserved it for these:

[From New clip from Avatar] Donkey Hodey says: Anybody else think how funny it would have been if when he jumped over that waterfall that he would have landed on some shallow rocks and paralyzed his avatar too?

[From Fantastic Mr. Fox clip: a beaver gets pounded] ChinoMoreno says: Wow. Straight to the pounding. He should have started by giving the beaver the finger.

And:

ChinoMoreno says: The beaver was impressed by this pounding until the neighborhood ‘coon hit it. The beaver never went back.

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Today’s forgotten classic is 2006′s (yes, believe it or not, this movie is from just three years ago) comes by way of commenter Jacktion!, who writes:

I saw what was probably the worst movie ever made this weekend. It’s called Vampire Dentist. All of the outdoor night scenes were filmed during the day, and just have a blue filter on them to make it look dark. Except the sky is still bright. There was no real plot to speak of. The story did move along, but fairly inexplicably. For some reason, the vampires only seem to attack people when they’re bending down to pick something up, often litter. I think the moral of the story is, “F-ck the environment. If you try to clean sh-t up, you’re asking for a good biting.” This movie had no blood, no swearing, and no nudity, so there was nothing to distract you from how awful it was. It was so bad that it came all the way back around and became fantastic, and then went back around and was awful again. If you put this on your queue, Netflix will recommend that you put a bullet in your brain. This move was so bad that it makes Seltzer/Friedberg movies look like Tyler Perry movies, and makes Twilight movies look like Cannonball Run movies.

I dunno, I enjoyed how you can tell they’re vampires by the black and red capes.  Check out the must-see interview with the director after the jump. Vampire Dentist: it’s not your mother’s vampire fi– check that, actually it is.  Sorry for the mix up.

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Greetings, Drunkards. Hope you all had a nice Labor Day and are as hungover and surly as I am this morning.  This week I’ve got three copies of Second Skin (now out on DVD) and three t-shirts to give away.

Second Skin takes an intimate look at computer gamers whose lives have been transformed by the emerging, hugely popular genre of computer games like World of Warcraft, Second Life, and Everquest, which allow millions of users from around the world to simultaneously interact in virtual spaces.

Gee, we wouldn’t know anything about that, would we, guys?  Anyway, we had quite the Gary Busey Fact thread this week, so we might as well start there.  As always, nominate for next week in the comments section of this post.

Jacktion!: Gary Busey goes commando when he rides a horse, and wears jockey shorts when he goes to war.

Crapbasket: Gary Busey chops down cherry trees just so he can lie about it.

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Two winners this week, folks.  They both win this picture, which they have to share with the rest of the class.  As always, nominate next week’s COTW in the comments section below.

Michelle07 kicks things off by reminding us that it’s never beating a dead horse to make Sarah Jessica Parker horse jokes. (I mean, she is still alive right?)  From HUGH GRANT’S BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE:

Michelle07 says:
As long as he doesn’t have a breaktrough performance he and Sarah can be friends.

From the DISTRICT 9 SEQUEL post:

TengoDooter says:
That flying saucer would look really awesome with a mural of Star Trek II painted all over it.

In the thread where Quentin Tarantino said he made out with Kathy Griffin and had sex with Margaret Cho:

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Bear with me, folks, this one requires some backstory:  So the other day, I did a post about a new Broken Lizard movie, in which I quoted a Variety article saying Dan Rosen (whom I’d never heard of before this) would be directing.  In the comments section of that post, Jacktion! wrote:

Dan Rosen will not be directing.
It is with a heavy heart that I report to you that Dan Rosen, and friend Bob Crantzin were involved in an accident last night when their car collided head on with the car of NBA commissioner David Stern and his friend Johnny Guild.

Rosen, Crantzin, Guild, and Stern are dead.

I’m not usually one for Shakespeare references, but well done, I thought.  Then Saturday morning, I received the following email:

To Whom it may concern. Hi. My name is Dan Rosen*… this was posted on your site today:

[quotes Jacktion!'s comment from above]

My sister saw this- did not get whatever stupid joke this asshole was making- and thought I was killed in a car crash. I was on a location scout all day with no reception. Do you know how many crying phone calls I got from her? My mom is very ill and my sister had to wrestle with telling her that her youngest son had died. Are you f-cking kidding me? How can you let someone post that? This has nothing to do with someone having a sense of humor or not- you can NOT JOKE ABOUT SOMEONE DYING! it’s never funny…

Please take that shit down.

thank you. Dan Rosen

As Jules Winfield might say, well allow me to retort:

*Editor’s disclaimer: Obviously I have no way of verifying whether this person is actually Dan Rosen or not, or is someone else named Dan Rosen, or whether it’s just a robot who likes to write complainey emails.

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