In a stunning move for a movie with creative capitalization in the title that seems to be based on the idea that the star kind of looks like the subject, jOBS has been delayed indefinitely. If I was Ashton Kutcher, I’d be crying into a groupie’s boobs on my space yacht somewhere right now.

The release date of the Steve Jobs biopic that stars Ashton Kutcher has quietly been postponed. jOBS, which closed the Sundance Film Festival this year, had been set by Five Star Films and its distributor Open Road for April 19. It has moved off that date, and a new date has not been determined. Five Star made a service release deal with Open Road before the festival started, and the film’s backers were eager to release on the month that marks the 37th anniversary of Jobs founding Apple. They’ve found instead that there wasn’t enough time to prepare for a proper release and create buzz for the film. [Deadline]

Not enough time to create buzz, huh? Really? You can’t just release another picture of Ashton Kutcher sort of looking like Steve Jobs again? That seems to be working so far. For a movie starring a television actor from the director of Swing State written by an unknown writer and produced by a guy who makes real estate textbooks, I’d say it’s already gotten an INSANE amount of buzz. But from the reviews, it doesn’t sound that bad. Maybe it will end up as a TV movie, where it probably always belonged in the first place. Here’s a nice plot rundown, courtesy of the Telegraph:

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Here’s a clip from Ashton Kutcher’s Steve Jobs biopic, jOBS, a film with a title so f*cking stupid it lowers the resale value of my computer every time I have to type it. (Does anyone else keep pronouncing it “Yobs?”). Kutcher appears to be playing Steve Jobs as Kelso, in a clip I like to think of as “Those 70s Nerds.”

If you’ll remember, there’s a competing Steve Jobs biopic project commissioned by Jobs himself that Aaron Sorkin is writing. Meanwhile, this one’s being financed by a guy who makes real estate textbooks and stars Josh Gad. Look, ma, it’s an Arple Merkintosh! Same great operating system for half the price!

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As soon as Steve Jobs died, everyone wanted to make a biopic, including, reportedly, Aaron Sorkin, whose version will undoubtedly end with Jobs recanting on his death bed, sorry he ever helped inadvertently invent those meanie blogs (“No, seriously: I have a blog??!?”). Oh, but there’s another Steve Jobs biopic, independently financed by a guy who makes real estate textbooks and starring noted thespian Ashton Kutcher. It may or may not have been rushed into production to beat the other one, and oh, according to ScreenRant and CultofMac, the actual title is “jOBS.”

No way this is real, right? This seems less like a real movie than it does a hypothetical idea for a movie to use in an iMovie tutorial.  I’m counting down the days until a rights issue forces them to re-write Kutcher’s character as Steep Occupations, revolutionary inventor of the I-Mod. This is the Jackie Jormp-Jompest thing I’ve ever seen.

[pics via X17]

A while back I told you about that Jimi Hendrix biopic starring Andre 3000, All is By My Side, directed by John Ridley, the interesting thing about which was that the Hendrix estate wasn’t giving the filmmakers permission to use any of Jimi Hendrix’s music – much like Jenna’s fictional Janis Joplin biopic on 30 Rock, Jackie Jormp-Jomp. Luckily for the filmmakers, Hendrix was famous for playing a lot of covers of other people’s songs, and the plan is apparently to focus on those, with Andre 3000 singing them himself.

The film – set in London in 1966 and 1967 – will include Benjamin’s new versions of covers that Hendrix performed during those years, shortly before the release of his landmark debut, Are You Experienced. Audiences will see Benjamin singing “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” (which Hendrix famously performed in a London club with members of the Beatles in the audience), “Wild Thing,” “Hound Dog,” Muddy Waters’ “Mannish Boy” and Elmore James’ “Bleeding Heart,” plus two songs, “Future Trip” and “Driving South,” that Hendrix played as a backup musician for Curtis Knight and the Squires.

If the movie were to include songs Hendrix wrote, like “Purple Haze” or “The Wind Cries Mary,” the producers would have needed permission from Experience Hendrix, which owns the copyrights to the material. But according to McKittrick, the film was always set in Hendrix’ pre-fame era, so neither he or his team ever approached the Hendrix estate. “This is the story of Jimi being discovered as a backup musician and how he went to London and became Jimi Hendrix,” says the producer. McKittrick says that focusing on early stories about Hendrix – like the times he jammed with Cream and met Eric Clapton – is preferable to a biopic about Hendrix’s full life story. “That would be like making a movie about Kurt Cobain,” he says. “We all know how that story ends.”

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