Jack White has teamed up with Insane Clown Posse for a song called “Leck Mich Im Arsch”, which supposedly translates to “Lick Me In the Ass,” and uses a melody written by Mozart in 1782. Which all goes to support my thesis: Jack White is the James Franco of music.

You can listen to the song below, which contains one of the most incredible exchanges in the history of music artistic creation.

VIOLENT J: Yo, Shaggy, what choo know about Moe-zart?

SHAGGY 2 DOPE: Not much. Fact I don’t know sh*t, J.  I think he was deaf!

VIOLENT J: Def as in dope?

SHAGGY: Nah, man, deaf as in he can’t hear sh*t!

VIOLENT J: Nah, man, that was Beef Oven!

Beethoven + Juggalo Transmogrification = Beef Oven. Simply stunning. And it only gets better from there.

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Jack White was at a screening of a documentary about the White Stripes in Toronto yesterday and oh God someone stop him, hasn’t anyone told him this Kanye West thing is played out already?

A new documentary about White’s band, The White Stripes Under Great White Northern Lights, had just been given a rapturous reception at the Elgin Theatre and director Emmett Malloy was in the middle of a Q&A. White suddenly sprinted onstage. Grabbing the microphone from Malloy, White exclaimed, “I’m gonna let you finish, I’m gonna let you finish, but Orson Welles had one of the greatest films of all time!” [TorontoStar]

Haha, good one, Jay!  That’s too bad.  I normally like Jack White, and he seems like he has a pretty good sense of humor — see him playing Elvis in Walk Hard for evidence.  So I imagine this isn’t his fault.  It’s just that, when you’re a celebrity, and there are always people around trying to get on your good side, you can make a horrible joke and everyone will still laugh, because they’re just excited to be near you.  If you’re not careful, this can happen so often that you trick yourself into thinking you’re really funny, and that maybe you should be a comedian.  When, trust us, you shouldn’t.  All I’m saying is, we’ll let it slide this time, Jack White. We understand you probably aren’t on the internet as much as us dorks.  Just be careful, no one wants another John Mayer.
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After the jump, I’ve got the video for “Another Way to Die”, the Quantum of Solace theme song featuring Jack White and Alicia Keys.  It actually came out a couple days ago but I forgot to post it, probably because it’s f-cking boring.  I like the song, but does anyone else remember when videos weren’t just people singing in front of a white room or a green screen?  This looks like an iPod commercial.  Honestly, you’ve got a green screen and the best you can do is make it look like they’re in the desert?  Shit, man, at least put some tigers in there. Also, the editing is lame – needs more star wipe. Read the rest of this entry »

Thanks to Stereogum, Jack White and Alicia Keys’ theme song for Quantum of Solace, which we heard a snippet of in the Coke commercial, is now online in its entirety (see below).  Jack White wasn’t too happy about people hearing it for the first time in a commercial, so… uh… boycott Coke… or something.  Anyway, the most amazing thing about it is how similar Jack White and Alicia Keys’ voices are.  It’s crazy becuz he’s a boy and she’s a girl!

This new Coke Zero ad features James Bond drinking Coke and cruising around in his new Aston Martin, set to “Another Way to Die”, the Quantum of Solace theme song written by Jack White of the White Stripes. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely going to see this movie. I’m also buying the soundtrack. Then I’m going to buy an Omega watch and an Armani suit and get drunk off Skyy vodka and blow my brains out all over my Ford Ka with a Walther PPK. You know, if I can afford it.

UPDATE: Now with working video.