Here’s Jack Nicholson popping in on Jennifer Lawrence during her post-Oscars interview with George Stephanopoulos. He tells her she did a beautiful job, and drops that old chestnut, “you look like an old girlfriend of mine,” a favorite of old pervs everywhere. At least he didn’t say “you remind me of my daughter,” like that British soldier right before he raped Braveheart’s girlfriend.

For her part, Jennifer Lawrence was obviously starstruck, but still poised enough to tell Jack playfully “you’re being very rude,” and “do I look like a new girlfriend?” Man, I don’t think I’ve ever been as comfortable in my own skin as that girl seems to be every second of every day. I’m sure there’ll be an eventual backlash against her as people get tired of all of us talking about how great she is, but just know that it’s only because she actually is so great and that I will fight you.
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One of my least favorite questions in the world is: “What’s your favorite movie?” I get that a lot, obviously, but I always weasel out of it by either explaining that I have to break my favorite movies down into genres because it’s impossible to pick just one ultimate film or by kicking the person in the balls and sprinting away. Another reason it’s so difficult is because I prefer to be a Negative Nurnsy. That’s how I make all of my cool Internet friends, by criticizing and defecating on the hard work of others.

One movie that I won’t ever criticize is The Shining, or my Favorite Movie of All-Time, Category: Films that Scared the Sh*t Out of Me as a Kid (Okay, and Now, Too). And between the holiday season rolling in, my eternal fear of ever staying at a ski resort during a snow storm, South Park’s recent send-up of the Stephen King/Stanley Kubrick classic, and the fact that girls everywhere still awesomely dress as the dead twins for Halloween, I’ve become rather nostalgic.

So I scoured the webs and found some of my favorite tributes, photoshops, memes and just generally enjoyable pictures and GIFs regarding The Shining to share with you all, because I love them and they deserve to be shared. Also, working on the Worst Movies of the Year feature drives a good man insane. This is more therapeutic than anything.

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A Hollywood Reporter article claims How Do You Know, the new James L. Brooks romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, and Jack Nicholson, cost $120 million (before tax breaks brought it down to $100 million).  Jesus, who planned this, the producers of the Spider-Man musical?

One reason for the price tag is old-fashioned salaries for the pic’s talent: Reese Witherspoon ($15 million), Jack Nicholson ($12 million), Owen Wilson ($10 million) and Paul Rudd ($3 million) received their quotes, and Brooks will earn about $10 million plus backend for writing, producing and directing. That’s about $50 million for the major talent alone.

The cost also was high because of the time Brooks devoted to production and postproduction and his decision to reshoot the beginning and end of the movie. “He’s slow and meticulous,” a person familiar with the production says. [THR]

For comparison, Watchmen cost $130 million, and the upcoming Spider-Man reboot cost $80 million.  But those don’t have Reese Witherspoon, so I guess it’s a wash. Even more amazing than the price tag is that they managed to spend 100 million dollars on this despite REESE WITHERSPOON WEARING THE SAME SHIRT FOR THE ENTIRE F*CKING MOVIE.

For some reason I feel like I haven’t heard anything about this movie before today, but here’s the trailer for James L. Brooks’ rom-com, How Do You Know, which opens in December.  It stars Reese Witherspoon as a lady both Owen Wilson and Paul Rudd seem to be in love with, and why not? She’s a total low-maintenance, down-to-Earth kinda gal, which you can tell because she’s always wearin’ a blue t-shirt.  Will she stick just her head through the collar?  Maybe her head, her shoulder, and a bra strap?  Who knows, bro, chick’s a free spirit.  Spontaneous.  That’s why all the dudes realize they love her after mistreating her for a few years.

Yes, she and Paul Rudd meet in an elevator, and Owen Wilson has hilarious conversations with his glib, chauvinist friends, but for a rom-com, there aren’t nearly as many of the usual idiotic clichés, like Sandra Bullock’s Blackberry getting stolen by an eagle, or Sarah Jessica Parker getting kicked by a cow, or Amy Adams.  If this was your usual sh*tty rom-com, Jack Nicholson, who plays Paul Rudd’s dad, would’ve been talking about sex the whole time, and the joke would’ve been that it’s funny because he’s old.  And then Katherine Heigl would find love when she finally stopped being an insufferable bitch.

According to Vulture, an offer went out to Jack Nicholson to star in CBS Films’ LASt VEGAS, a script insiders say is like an AARP version of The Hangover meets Grumpy Old Men meets no f*cking thanks.

The script comes from red-hot screenwriter Dan Fogelman (Cars, Bolt) [Uh...] , who also penned Warner Bros.’ still-untitled Steve Carell–Ryan Gosling comedy that begins filming next month. VEGAS follows four estranged male childhood friends from the fifties who reunite in Vegas to finally marry off Billy, the lifelong unmarried playboy of the group, who — fittingly — might be played by Nicholson. The conflict comes when both Billy the bachelor and Paddy, the widower of the group, begin vying for the affections of the same lounge singer.

Vulture has a script excerpt of the part that introduces Nicholson’s character (if he does agree to sign on), so you can read that over there.  I imagine the rest of it includes jokes where the old guys sabotage each other by replacing their gold bond with itching powder, putting Ben Gay on the inside of their Depends, and replacing their heart pills with Viagra, or their Viagra with ecstasy, or their ecstasy with Flomax.  Jack Nicholson will be trying to get a boner when all of a sudden he finds his restless leg syndrome cured and gets the urge to recklessly gamble.  What am I trying to say is that there will be a joke about switched pills, because that is literally Hollywood’s favorite joke.

Also: AARP version of The Hangover < LARP version of The Hangover.  Just sayin’.