Do you know what today is, folks? It’s Golden Globe nomination day, that time of year when we pretend the Golden Globes are somehow relevant, even though they’re decided by the “Hollywood Foreign Press Association,” a shady group made up of press from publications no one reads who studios can basically buy off with a nice enough gift bag. Yay, here are their nominations! Most of which are from movies you couldn’t have seen because they aren’t out yet! Hooray, the HFPA is so much cooler than us!  (see also: their TV nominees at Warmingglow)

Best Drama
Avatar
Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Up in the Air

Best Comedy or Musical
(500) Days of Summer
The Hangover
It’s Complicated
Julie & Julia
Nine

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The Hollywood Reporter today has a piece about how Oscars co-host Alec Baldwin could wind up being the rare Oscars host who wins an Oscar during his own gig.  That’s cool, Alec Baldwin is a great actor.  What movie would he be nominated for?  Oh right, It’s Complicated.  Wait, what?

Thanks to his performance in Nancy Meyers’ marital comedy “It’s Complicated,” Baldwin may well prove a contender in the best supporting actor category. Playing Meryl Streep’s ex-husband — a man who has traded in his age-appropriate wife for a much younger model, only to find that marriage isn’t always better the second time around — Baldwin lets it all hang out.
He’s not a lock for a nomination for “Complicated,” which Universal releases Dec. 25. Christoph Waltz, who was named best actor at Cannes for his chilling turn as a Jew-hunting Nazi in “Inglourious Basterds,” has to be considered the front-runner in the category.

Hold on, Professor Obvious is whispering something in my ear… yeah, he says he’ll go ass-to-mouth in front of his own mother before Baldwin wins an Oscar for a rom-com named after a Facebook relationship status (Professor Obvious is very vulgar).  First the co-stars get picked to host, now the trades are calling them award contenders?  Are the Oscars shilling for a Nancy Meyers movie now?  I wouldn’t be surprised.  The Oscars are terrible.  The only thing they really have going for them is at least they’re not the Golden Globes.

(“Fill up momma’s wine glass and I’ll show you what I like to call the Streeptease.”)

Writer/Director Nancy Meyers writes the kind of movies (What Women Want, Something’s Gotta Give, The Holiday) that my mom forces me to watch that I end up resenting her for a little bit.  This is the new trailer for her latest, starring Meryl Streep, Steve Martin, and Alec Baldwin (good), whose title is a copy of either a Facebook relationship status, an Avril Lavigne song, or a Denise Richards reality show (bad).  Coming Christmas Day, It’s Complicated.  Have you ever wanted to hear Alec Baldwin deliver lines that start with “O M G”? (no)  Did you ever wish you’d see Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin making out in an elevator? (no)  Were you hoping Steve Martin would get hip to webcam chat? (no)  Well then this movie is for you! (not me).

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From Nancy Meyers, the director of Something’s Gotta Give and What Women Want comes Old People F*cking Part 3, aka It’s Complicated.  I hope it lives up to its name better than Denise Richards’ reality show, because in Denise Richards’ world, “complicated” seems to mean “hanging out on the f*cking beach drinking wine” a lot.  It must be rough being a hobo with money.  Where was I?  Oh right, the movie.  See, Meryl Streep was married to Alec Baldwin, who left her for a hot 20-something.  But now they’re having an affair, even though she’s his ex-wife, even though her architect Steve Martin also wants a piece, and yeah, mom, this looks totally hilarious and realistic too.

[Also available in HD at Apple]