The new Confessions of a Shopaholic trailer premieres this weekend attached to Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist.  An adaptation of the best-selling book series, producer Jerry Bruckheimer promises to bring the same brainless cheeseball approach to chick flicks as he does to movies about pirates, or treasure, or pirate treasure.

After losing her job, Becky applies to be a writer at a Condé Nast fashion glossy. Instead, she is hired for a financial magazine, a position that is way beyond her qualifications. In the big-screen version, her boss is also her love interest (Hugh Dancy of The Jane Austen Book Club).

So let me get this straight, she’s a young professional woman living in Manhattan who’s obsessed with designer clothes, doing a job that’s way over her head for a famous magazine, and she’s in love with her handsome boss?  This is all so new, it’s a lot to process.  If only she had some girlfriends with whom to share the good times and the bad…

Borat portrayer and Kosher-keeping Jew Sacha Baron Cohen* got his first Hanukkah present today, a lawsuit from the guy in the above clip.

Michael Psenicska said he was paid $500 in cash to give Borat a driving lesson. He described the experience as "surreal," saying Cohen drove erratically down residential streets, drank alcohol and yelled to a female pedestrian he would pay her $10 for "sexy time."

The lawsuit seeks $400,000 in actual damages and additional punitive damages for misleading Psenicska and for emotional harm he continues to suffer. Psenicska said if he had known the true nature of the film, he never would have participated. [Reuters]

Oh cry us a f*cking river, dude.  You got paid $500 bucks AND ended up a movie star. Not to mention managing to come off as the sanest one in the whole movie.  For $500, you should be happy to blackout and wake up in the strangest of places with all manner of non-sharp objects up your ass (hookers tell me the sharp stuff costs an extra thou),

What hell kind of name is Psenicska, anyway?  It sounds communist to me.  There are a suspicious number of consonants.  Plus, his big vagina is always covered in red. 

Learn to use the Nigerian scam like everyone else next time you’re short on cash, you whiney dicklicker. 

^{*Forgot to include "Despicable Isla Fisher Defiler" I’m not usually down with short chicks, but God I love her.}

Sacha Baron Cohen is setting out on a book tour as Borat, to promote Borat: Touristic Guidings to Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, which is said to already be the number one purchase among awkward fathers torturing their children with bad impressions in a desperate attempt to relate.

Asked for his thoughts on the 2008 presidential election, Borat answered:

I cannot believe that it possible a woman can become Premier of US and A – in Kazakhstan, we say that to give a woman power, is like to give a monkey a gun – very dangerous. We do not give monkeys guns any more in Kazakhstan ever since the Astana Zoo massacre of 2003 when Torkin the orang-utan shoot 17 schoolchildrens. I personal would like the basketball player, Barak Obamas to be Premier.

I don’t know whether to praise him for still being funny or curse him for ensuring that we’ll be hearing "ees ni’ice" from now until the Earth crashes into the sun.  Perhaps I’ll just continue to pray for his death.  Isla Fisher, you will be mine.  How is she so goddamned cute?  She’s like a baby polar bear that I’d like to bone.  So basically she’s like a baby polar bear.