"Hey, I'm gonna go grab a plate of sliders, you guys want anything?"

Apologies in advance, because this is one of those yeah-and-if-your-aunt-had-big-hairy-balls-she’d-be-your-uncle type stories (an average movie blog story, in other words)… but the LATEST optimistic speculation is that Lethal Weapon/Last Boy Scout/Kiss Kiss Bang Bang writer Shane Black *COULD* direct the next Iron Man for Marvel. That would make a lot of movie dorks get even beardier with excitement, and in my rush to report it I can hardly contain my dandruff.

The writer/director has powwowed with Marvel execs [I prefer to read this literally -Ed] about his take on the third installment in the blockbuster franchise. As of now he is being considered for the directing job, but the assumption is that if he gets the gig, he would also write a draft.

Insiders said that Black’s involvement is far from a sure thing, and that other filmmakers were being looked at.

Iron Man 3 would reteam Black and Downey, who worked together on the well-regarded Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which Black directed and co-wrote. [THR]

It’s tempting to get excited about this one, but the Iron Man franchise is kind of like the aging Playmate whose best years are probably behind her at this point.  And they really missed an opportunity by not bringing Shane Black on for the last one, which was essentially an interracial buddy cop flick anyway.  Only problem?  Not nearly enough wisecracking.  Someone should’ve gotten ahold of Don Cheadle and been like, “Yo, Hotel Rwanda, why don’t you loosen up and make with the sass talk.”

Pointless Aside: The only Shane Black/Iron Man joke I can think of involves Robert Downey Jr. “shooting Gwyneth Paltrow’s fish tank.”  Oh would you look at that, I just invented my new favorite euphemism.

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Uh oh, Mickey's moistening his thumb. We should leave.

When I reported on Jon Favreau not coming back for Iron Man 3 yesterday, I wasn’t that sad about it.  I was actually happy to see him leave a sequel that’ll probably be a clusterfart, and maybe do something cool for a studio not owned by Disney.  Ah, but this is Hollywood.  Things have a way of working out in the lamest way possible.

Favreau will join Guillermo del Toro and David Fincher as part of a next wave of filmmakers making live-action feature films rooted in the imagery of Disney theme parks and classic characters.

Favreau is set to direct “Magic Kingdom,” which the 44-year-old filmmaker described as a family fantasy adventure that will tap into the vintage Disney creations that “loomed so large in the imagination” of his generation.

Favreau spoke in reverent terms of the legacy of Walt Disney and made it clear that his departure from Marvel is no snap decision or the result of fractured relations. The main impulse was to “find something that lights a fire” inside of him as a filmmaker and gives him a chance to “blow people away, which is easier to do with a project that isn’t loaded with built-in expectations.” [LATimes]

Yes, it must be refreshing to get away from all those built-in expectations by taking on the imagery of classic Disney characters.  That just makes good sense.

If only Disney made “new idea” dolls.  I’d totally see a movie that was trying to sell those.

"So then if she yanks on it while she's tonguing your butt, that's called a 'rusty trombone.'"

According to Vulture, Jon Favreau has just told Marvel that he won’t be directing Iron Man 3.  This should come as no surprise to anyone who read the writing on the wall.  No, not “No Fat Chicks” and your sister’s phone number, I mean the rumors of a Marvel/Favreau beef that have been going around since this summer.  The scuttlebutt was that Marvel pressured Favreau into including that whole Avengers subplot in Iron Man 2, and Favreau resented them for it. True or not, that scene with the Captain America shield was really stupid.

One informed source hears that [Favreau] was frustrated with Marvel’s urge to stuff more of their in-house heroes into the next film in the wake of The Avengers. In a recent interview with MTV News, Favreau explained that based on his conversations with Marvel Studios executives, he had no clarity as to what a third Iron Man film would even be about. “In theory, Iron Man 3 is going to be a sequel or continuation of Thor, Hulk, Captain America and Avengers,” said Favreau at the time, “This whole world … I have no idea what it is. I don’t think they do either, from conversations I’ve had with those guys.”

Still other industry insiders look at Favreau’s growing price tag and speculate that he was getting too expensive for the frugal Marvel and its equally cost-conscious parent company, Disney. In fact, one Hollywood player familiar with Marvel’s playbook theorizes that the company had been pushing a confusing and packed vision of the third film as a tactic to provoke Favreau into leaving the project.

Whoa, settle down there, Captain Conspiracy, it turns out there were a couple Jews in the second tower.

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The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came out when I was a kid but still sell a buttload of toys, which is why you hear Hollywood announce a new Ninja Turtles project every six months or so.  The last movie was WB’s CGI TMNT in 2007 (remember when New Kids on the Block tried to reinvent themselves as NKOTB?  On second thought, forget I said that.).  Viacom acquired the rights earlier this year, and in May it was announced that Michael Bay’s company, Platinum Dunes, would be producing the latest version. Now the word is that Paramount has hired Iron Man writers Art Marcum and Matt Holloway to write it, paying them ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

“The studio is looking at this as its next huge franchise, like Transformers,” a source just told me. Paramount’s Adam Goodman is fast-tracking and wants a first draft by October for a 2012 release.  Marcum and Holloway shared credit on Marvel’s Iron Man and just wrote the Highlander reboot for Summit, which will start shooting next year under helmer Justin Lin whose Fast And Furious 5 is filming right now for Universal.
The speed is understandable since Viacom Inc’s Nickelodeon acquired the rights to the property for $60 million, in partnership with sister company Paramount Pictures. [Deadline]

Much as I like Iron Man, the script was the least of the reasons why.  In fact, last I heard from Jeff Bridges, Iron Man didn’t even really have a script.

“They had no script, man!” Bridges exclaims [see? I told you].

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Typical. Every jetski party has one black guy.

Though the news is everywhere now, it looks like it was Salon who first broke word (based on an interview with the actor himself) that handsome British guy Dominic Cooper would be playing the younger version of Howard Stark (Robert Downey Jr.’s Dad) in Captain America, which is partially set in World War II.  Cooper is probably best known for playing the part Chris Klein should’ve gotten in Mamma Mia, but was also in The Duchess, which I’ve heard is the second most popular dorm room blacklight poster behind Boondock Saints.

As anyone who’s seen Iron Man 2 should know, it seems that Tony Stark’s Dad Howard plays a crucial part in the expanding Marvel ‘verse. Plus, given that he was around during World War Two and involved in the creation of clandestine government agency S.H.I.E.L.D., it’s very unsurprising that he’ll pop up in Captain America: The First Avenger. We’ve seen him twice on screen already of course (played by Gerard Sanders in the first Iron Man, John Slattery in the second), but here we’ll see a younger version.
If he does nab the role, he’ll be joining Chris Evans (as Cap), Hugo Weaving (as the nefarious Red Skull) and Sebastian Stan (as Bucky – the totally straight sidekick) in Joe Johnston’s WW2-set comic movie. [TotalFilm]

I just hope he’s actually important to the Captain America story and isn’t like Captain America’s shield was in Iron Man 2.  Oh my gosh, look, it’s Captain America’s shield!  And he just had it lying around in his workshop!  This is so great.  Seeing references to future films gets me especially excited when they’re not relevant to the current scene in any way.