Just in case this video gets pulled like my wiener before you have a chance to see it, this is the alternate opening scene to Iron Man 2.  It starts with Tony Stark puking in the toilet of what turns out to be his cargo plane, followed by playful banter with Pepper Potts, who’s trying to coach him through his hangover (try this Egyptian-lavender scented alka-seltzer, just $69.99 on goop.com).  It ends with the bit you saw in the trailer, where Gwyneth Paltrow kisses his helmet (hee hee!) and he jumps out of the plane after it. This part ended up getting cut, and the actual film begins a few seconds later, with Tony Stark landing on stage at the Stark Expo.

Director Jon Favreau has said that the sequence was removed because he wanted to give Robert Downey Jr a big entrance, and the reveal of Stark on stage after landing worked better without the opening bit of comedy. [/Film via GammaSquad]

I like the alternate version better.  With the excess of characters that didn’t do that much, the rushed feel, and the lack of significant conflict, Iron Man 2 at times felt more than just a little Entourage-y, and opening with him onstage as the world’s biggest celebrity (as opposed to a hungover smartass) only plays more into that.  Oh my God, bro, don’t you want to be just like Tony Stark, or one of the talentless jackasses that hangs out by his pool?  He’s like the coolest guy ever, please turn this into a GQ article about grooming tips.

"Good, now mind the stepchildren..."

Meet Tom Perkins.  He’s a disturbingly enthusiastic young Brit who, until a few days ago, had a web show called FilmXTRATOM (“Film Extra Tom”), which was often promoted on the Heyuguys blog (settle down, I hadn’t heard of them before now either).  That was when someone discovered that the movie reviews Tom had been excitedly reading into the camera had actually been stolen from other film sites. A site called the TheFollowingPreview has a thorough breakdown of which reviews he stole from where; mostly JoBlo.com and a handful of British sites. When JoBlo called him out for stealing their Iron Man 2 review a few days ago, he first tried to deny it, Tweefing:

Im a weird mood at the moment because people think i stolen someones review. Anyone that knows me knows that i dont read anyones review

It’s hard to know what he was thinking, considering anyone with Google and a pair of eyeballs could see he was blatantly lying.  He finally copped to it a day later, and has since pulled all the videos from his YouTube Channel (if you can get the video to work, JoBlo has a rip of his Iron Man 2 review stolen mostly verbatim from their site).  Today they posted his apology letter, which reads in part:

Read the rest of this entry »

JJ Abrams, the little lad who directed Star Trek and likes berries and cream, has reportedly been hard at work on a movie project.  The teaser for it will be attached to Iron Man 2 this weekend, but up until now, he’s managed to keep everyone involved from saying anything about it .  And all because he wanted to make sure it was a surprise for us.  Aw, Special J, you know me so well.  *leans over to kiss him on top of the head*

Says HitFix, who broke the news:

What if I told you JJ Abrams had a mystery box called “Super 8″ all gift-wrapped and ready for everyone to open this week, and there hasn’t been a single word written about it online so far?  Impressive, don’t you think?

When audiences sit down for screenings of “Iron Man 2″ this weekend, they’re going to see trailers for other summer movies that they’ve already heard of, and then they’ll also get their first look at a movie that Abrams is producing via a teaser trailer he directed, much like the teaser trailer that announced “Cloverfield” to an unsuspecting audience in front of “Transformers.”  That was almost a complete surprise when it happened.

[from an Abrams speech at an earlier conference] “I can tell you that the film is called “Super 8.”  I can also tell you that it is rumored to be a “Cloverfield” sequel. How it ties in to the first film is unclear at this point, but I would imagine the trailer will make that connection explicit so that audiences basically walk out after two hours of amazing Iron Man action talking about a two minute trailer as the most exciting thing they saw.  What I can’t tell you is what you’re actually going to see in the trailer, and frankly, I don’t want to know yet.”

It appears that Abrams will not be directing this film, and the more I’ve poked into it, the more convinced I am that this is not the movie that Abrams is rumored to be teaming with Steven Spielberg to make.

He goes onto say that theater owners have gone to the trouble of putting the Iron Man prints in locked canisters that can’t be opened until Thursday afternoon, and during filming of the teaser, Abrams even tricked crew members into thinking they were working on a teen sex comedy with a fake title.  I love it when they go these insane lengths to protect silly things like this, because it makes me imagine five guys who look like Napoleon Dynamite carrying sub machine guns repelling down from the ceiling like Mission Impossible just before show time.  “Uh, like, give uth the JJ Abramth spoilerth. (*sucks saliva through teeth*)”

Like porn and pleasing me sexually, the entertainment industry is an area in which kissing ass really does pay.  One person who seems to do little BESIDES kissing ass is Pete Hammond, Hollywood.com BoxOffice.com’s movie reviewer who used to work for Maxim and also blogs for the LA Times.  You can often find his quotes shouting at you from the covers of crappy movies like Old Dogs, and The Proposal. He’s arguably the most-quoted critic in Hollywood.  Is that because he’s a respected authority who provides compelling critiques and thoughtful analysis?  Of course not.  It’s because his reviews consist of little more than blatant attempts to be quoted.  You can practically smell the desperation through the computer.

He recently wrote an Iron Man 2 review, and I thought it’d be fun to see if we can identify each specific instance of his blatant quote whoring (hint: it won’t be hard because I’ve put them in bold).  Let’s begin.

Let the summer begin! Iron Man 2, the sequel to 2008’s Marvel blockbuster (grossed over $570 million worldwide), is a sensational way to give the season a kick start…
…It may not be in 3D but look for this 2nd visit to Marvel’s latest cash cow to top the original, not only for ratcheted up action, excitement and pure movie fun but also at the box office and beyond.
As he was the first time around, Downey Jr. is the man!
As one of the new villains, Johansson oozes sex appeal and shows she has a natural flair for martial arts.  Meanwhile the tattooed and imposing Rourke is a hoot with thick Russian accent and a penchant for pet birds. Best of all is Rockwell who plays the low-rent rival of Stark to the hilt, particularly in the opening Senate hearing where he tries to unsuccessfully squash his arrogant competitor.
Fans of the first will not be bored. This Iron Man may not be the Godfather II of comic book movie sequels critics hope for but it is a complete blast anyway.

You can read the review in its entirety here, though I can’t imagine why you’d want to.  It’s not even a review, really, just pure drivel interspersed with attempts at self promotion.  Since I can’t help it, let’s break some of this down:

Read the rest of this entry »

This introduction video and surprise appearance by Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. comes from a special invite-only screening of Iron Man 2 at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin last night, hosted by AICN’s Harry Knowles (Beyoncé’s fat, red-headed brother).  I wasn’t invited, I assume because they knew these guns aren’t registered in that state.  Thanks, fellas, I appreciate you lookin’ out.  Anyway, by most accounts, it sounds just like what you would expect, i.e., “a virtual sea of competing novelty T-shirts,” size double X, sporting cat and beard hair, I’m sure.

The video [via Cinematical] shows Downey telling Favreau he “doesn’t need to suck up to these nerds anymore, they’re going to see it anyway.”  Then they both step out from behind the video onto the stage, where the crowd goes wild, creating a cloud of Cheeto dust and wave of undulating man boobs that could be seen from space.  But apparently, Favreau’s contribution to the evening didn’t end there:

Jon Favreau, who’s been doing months of post-production followed by a vicious, volcano-interrupted press tour, needs to blow off some steam. He does it by mix-mastering beats from The Jackson Five and Guns N Roses and Eric B. and Rakim and AC/DC. He mashes up “It’s Tricky” and “Brown Sugar.” He brings the house down with a power ballad by The Outfield. The DJ hired by the Alamo thought he’d hand over the turntables for maybe ten minutes but Favs won’t stop. You’d think he’d be mugging to the crowd but, no, he’s really workin’ it. [UGO]

I’m sure watching Jon Favreau DJ would be cool, but nearly as cool as watching Robert Downey Jr. in blackface DJ.