Normally I’m mostly indifferent to babies. They cry and poop a lot and ruin plane rides, and generally don’t bring much to the table until they reach pageant age. At least, that’s what I thought until last week, when Joe King sent me this picture of Mr. T Baby, aka B.A .”Baby Asian” Baracus (which I believe he found over on iruntheinternet). It quickly set the internet on fire, racking up more than 12,600 Facebook shares as of this writing, as well as mentions on Bravo’s Andy Cohen Live and Gabriel Iglesias’s Facebook page.  And for good reason. The way her chubby little arms and baby barrel chest mimic that of the former A-Team star make her pretty much the cutest thing ever. I mean, if you can look at these pictures without smiling, you should probably go get a job gassing puppies at the pound  because you’re dead inside.

Recently, I was able to reach out to Mr. T Baby’s father and lead costume designer, Brandon, from St. Paul, Minnesota, to get the full story behind the costume (JOURNALISM!). And much like the now-famous picture of his daughter’s first Halloween costume (it was last year, she was one and a half), the whole story made me smile. So with his permission, I thought I’d share with you this Halloween treat.

(Helpful tip: you can click to enlarge any of the photos).

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[Download this week's episode here (right-click, "save as.")]

This week, the whole gang is back! We read your reader emails and sex/relationship questions, so that got pretty weird, as you can imagine. That spurred a look back at some of our Koi calls, and more Nair stories (BRET HAS ONE TOO!). Seriously, who knew there’d be this many guys who’d used Nair somewhere near their private parts and immediately regretted it? I think we’ve really struck a nerve here. Oh, and we recorded from my room this time, so most of the first ten minutes is just Brendan making fun of the crap in my room and reading inscrutable notes from my old comedy notebooks. For instance (from around 10 minutes):

• Hobos – Hobo-erotic.
• Pillsbury – credit.
• For dummies
• Darts hyphen raccoon vagina date rape
• Joe AIDs
• Drooling vegetables/incontinent mongoloids

So that’s an out-of-context peek into my subconscious.

At the end, you can hear my roundtable interview with Seth Rogen and Will Reiser who are promoting 50/50 (opening next Friday), a film which I greatly enjoyed (as you’ll see from my upcoming review, if I ever finish it) based on Will Reiser’s diagnosis with cancer when he was in his late twenties. You know, your basic cancer comedy. The interview starts off with me asking a few fun questions and keeping things light and fun, then quickly deteriorates into the usual press tour crap once the other proles get a chance to open their stupid yaps. Sorry about that. But alas I am but a man, and I cannot control the yaps of proles. Nonetheless, it’s still mildly entertaining, and it’s there if you want to listen to it. Here’s the key quote from that:

“Peoples impression of cancer is based on movies they’ve seen, and every movie that’s about cancer, it’s very sad, it’s very melodramatic, and the person always dies at the end. They have some great moment of clarity and then they die. They make amends with their son who they haven’t talked to in 40 years, and then they die. And that’s not what happened with us.” -Will Reiser

FOR NEXT WEEK: We’d love to do more Frotcast mailbag stuff, so send us your relationship questions, sex troubles, poop transplant stories, or other questions. Subscribe on iTunes. Subscribe via RSS.

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Oooh, look at me, I’m Brad Cooper, I’m a super-handsome movie star who also speaks fluent French, I’m sooooo great.  Whatever, dude. Can you do this? (*flips eyelids inside out, rolls stomach, falls through coffee table*)

I think if you turn up the sound on this video, you can actually hear the sound of the anchor’s ovaries ripening.  I hear fertility doctors now use this video as a way to induce ovulation. Hell, I think my vagina just moistened, and I don’t even have one. (That the cops know about…).  Ugh.  Show off.  Look man, just promise us you won’t do any Kate Hudson rom-coms.  Deal?

Charlie Sheen is doing it live right now on TMZ, and it’s a little silly to pretend anyone’s doing anything else but sitting here under our troll bridges with our ugly troll wives and being in awe of this outer-space warrior king.  Quotes so far:

AA is the gibberish of fools.

If you follow my plan everyone wins.  If you follow their plan, it’s very terrestrial based, and…

Rock bottom?  That’s a fishing term.

[On the Goddesses and people's criticism] They can’t process it and all they are is jealous, and they’re like I can’t stop thinking about it with my ugly wife and I’m losing and he’s winning!

Why didn’t Les Moonves fire Chuck Lorre and embarrass him in front of his children when he was on a campaign to destroy me? It’s like, your clean up hitter’s on the bench and just ready to crush.

[Just compared himself to a prisoner getting "shanked in the yard."]

I’m a grandiose life, and I’m embracing it.  I got wisdom and I got stories, man. Sorry, the scoreboard doesn’t lie.

[On Two and a Half Men] I started it, and I continued it, and Chuck was there to support it.

“Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my sabre.“

Holy sh*t, he has rocket fuel in the tip of his sabre?  How do they even do that?  Does that mean this sabre glows blue-hot like an elven blade? I need to hang out at Charlie Sheen’s house. [This post is ongoing]

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Charlie Sheen is still doing interviews, and mother of God, it just gets better and better.  I don’t even know what to add to this.  Let’s just get quickly to the quotes, because this man is on fire. Some of the ordinance dropped to the ground from the F-18 of his brain include:

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’” It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

Charlie is far too humble to come right out and say that he has a magical space brain, but the implication is clear.  Duly noted.

“Some are saying that you’re bipolar.”
“Wow.  What does that mean? I’m bi-WINNING.”

Don’t be humble, Charlie.  Bi-winning implies he only has two ways to win, when in reality, the methods are infinite.  Charlie’s space brain allows him to win infinitely in four dimensions.  Oh sorry, I already beat bipolarity 600 years ago and have been partying with hotties and dinosaurs on my yacht.  Winning.  We murder people.  In the infowars.

Tell me about the last time you took drugs.
I probably took more than anyone could survive.  I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll.  I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.

How do you survive that?
Because I’m me.  I’m different. I have a different brain, I have a different heart… I got tiger blood, man.

TIGER’S BLOOD!  I ARRIVED HERE ON AN ASTEROID AND WAS NURSED BACK TO HEALTH BY MICHAEL BAY, WHICH GIVES ME SPECIAL DRUG POWERS! I HAVE THE HEART OF A SHARK THAT I REMOVED WITH MY BARE HANDS AND TRANSPLANTED MYSELF!
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