I clicked on this trailer for MachoTailDrop expecting something sexy and full of powerbottoms, and instead I got a movie about a kid who becomes a professional skateboarder in a parallel universe where skateboard companies are like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory (another title that sounds like it should involve powerbottoms…).  It premiered at the Toronto Film Festival, no word on when or where you’ll be able to see it again.  Just watch the trailer, it’s… weird.  But ask yourself: “Why are you in my bath?” “Do you need to be touching my horse?”

[via QuietEarth]

Big Fan stars my favorite comedian Patton Oswalt, in the directorial debut of Rob Siegel, who wrote my favorite movie of last year The Wrestler.  I’ve already rubbed my nerd sweat and anticipation boner all over this flick, so I’ll try not to repeat myself, but now it has a trailer.  I hope this doesn’t give too much away, but as you can see, the Taxi-Driver-meets-football-fanaticism plot involves Patton’s character getting beat up by his favorite player and suddenly having the power to decide his fate.

It also has a cameo from Michael Rapaport, and as you can hear at the 38-second mark, Sirius radio sports guy Scott Ferrall playing himself.  I don’t know how people can listen to that guy without getting nauseous. Every time I hear him I wonder who decided to give a guy who sounds like an 85-year-old hooker with a trach tube a talk radio gig.  It’d be like putting a progeria baby with a lazy eye on TV.  Dang, I just inadvertently described Stu Scott and John Clayton, didn’t I.  I guess what I’m saying is that ugly people know a lot about sports.

[opens Aug 24th]

Perhaps I’ve misjudged you, Catholicism.

After the jump, watch the trailer for Lymelife, an indie flick from writers Derick and Steven Martini, directed by Derick Martini, with a score by Steven Martini and his band, The Spaceship Martini.  …Moving on… It’s currently is making the festival rounds, next playing at the Gen Art Festival in April, and stars Alec Baldwin, Timothy Hutton, Kieran Culkin, and Rory Culkin, who up until now I didn’t even know existed (and frankly I think I was better off).  I know it’s suppposed to be a heartwarming period piece and all that, but I think if I’d seen this when I was in high school and had to watch a Culkin getting laid I would’ve gone Columbine all over everyone’s ass.
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The makers of Breaking Upwards, an indie romantic-dramedy (an iRom-Dram) playing at SXSW (that’s “South By Southwest,” grandpa), recently made this faux rap video to promote their film.  The film tells the story of a New York couple played by real-life couple Daryl Wein and Zoe Lister-Jones (omg, it’s so meta!).  Will he pop the question?  Will she become Zoe Lister-Jones-Wein? Will she divorce him and marry Christopher Mintz-Plasse, thus becoming Zoe Lister-Jones-Wein-Mintz-Plasse?  Only time will tell.

Anyway, I give them extra points for creativity, but minus 1000 for the line “My future vision is generally spot on / much like the comic timing, of Jen Aniston.” You really couldn’t write a worse rap line than that.  At least not without referencing Kierkegaard.

(Plus 100 points for Olivia Thirlby in a bra).

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After the jump, watch the trailer for Burning Passions, a film by Brian Belefant (based on his 1999 short) about a guy who ejaculates fire (title’s like one a them double entenders, get it?).   Anyway, it’s currently making the festival rounds, and bills itself as “a coming of age story”, sure to “warm your heart” and “spurt thick, gooey ropes of laughter all over your mom’s face while she gets buttf-cked by a syphilitic rhino……. of comedy.”

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