Sylvester Stallone was recently in India to shoot a Bollywood film with Denise Richards and Brandon Routh.  The headline accompanying the news story about it was “Stallone was very impressed with Indians.”  Above is an artist’s rendition of what that might have looked like.

Slumdog Millionaire is Danny Boyle’s film about a poor Indian kid who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire in order to impress a girl.  I hope he wins so he can go back the slum and tell her “See, bitch?  Now who’s too good for whom,” and then light a giant spliff with a $100 bill and splash cow shit on her with his Hummer on the way to a gangbang. Guess I’m just old fashioned like that.

Also: needs more dancing condoms.

Our official movie reviewer Sexman is back, and this time he’s pissed.  About outsourcing.  Seriously, just watch.  He’s like the Andrew Dice Clay of his generation.

(feel free to skip it, Sexman haters, I still love the kid)

Wes Anderson has been hired to write the remake of the 2006 French film, My Best Friend.

The French pic starred Daniel Auteuil as a cranky antiques dealer who learns at a dinner with his closest acquaintances that none of them really like him because of his harsh manner and selfishness. When his business partner bets him a valuable vase that he can’t produce a best friend, the dealer tries to get an amiable cab driver to pose as his buddy. [Variety]

Wes Anderson’s a great director and an amazing production designer, but in my infallible opinion, only the films Owen Wilson co-wrote (Rushmore and Royal Tenenbaums) were truly great.  Oh, and I bet you a thousand dollars the cab driver will be Indian.

I first brought you news of Hari Puttar back in April, and those lazy asses at Warner Bros are just now getting around to filing a copyright infringement suit. 

"Hari Puttar," a comedy that centers on a 10-year-old Indian boy whose family moves to England, is slated for a September 12 release.
The Hari Puttar name began making the rounds [in India] as a comic gag when the first "Harry Potter" film was released. Hari is a popular Indian name, and "puttar" means "son" in the Punjabi language.

"Since the case is sub-judice, we can’t comment as of now," Mirchi Movies CEO Munish Purii said. "However, we registered the ‘Hari Puttar’ title in 2005, and it’s unfortunate that Warner has chosen to file a case so close to our film’s release. In my opinion, I don’t think our title has any similarity or links with ‘Harry Potter."’  [Other than being a homophone, of course. -Ed] [THR]

I also notice that the poster at left features a guy in a giant rat suit with a mouse trap on his toe, a gag that was clearly lifted from Bee Man on The Simpsons. "¡No me gusta!" said Bee Man, when reached for comment.