Hey, let’s invite Lou Ferrigno down to the set of American Gladiators!  And then we’ll paint Titan green and make him act like the Hulk!  And then we’ll use green filters on all the cameras!  And then we’ll make them fight with big soft stand ins for penises!  The loser gets all wet!  And then everyone will flex at each other!  And then… hey, why is my poop green!  And how come there’s condoms in it!  And why don’t I remember how I got home last night!  Why’d Titan  buy me all those Jägr shots!

In an interview with Variety Friday, Marvel studios head Kevin Feige revealed that not only will we get to hear the Hulk speak in the new film, he will be voiced by original Hulk/deaf guy/bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno.

Variety: Do I finally get to hear a good "Hulk smash!" or what?
Feige: Yes. After five TV seasons, several TV movies and the first feature, Hulk will speak. (Yeah, he had a line in the Ang Lee film, but it was a dream.)
Hulk’s verbal skills and intelligence have varied in the comics, but he’s never been as mute as the TV version. So it’s a little ironic that TV Hulk Lou Ferrigno will give voice to the Hulk in this film.
Producer Gale Ann Hurd says Ferrigno was a last-minute addition to a panel on the movie at New York’s Comic-Con. Director Leterrier invited him to "audition" onstage.
"Lou did this amazing, ‘Hulk smash!’ " says Hurd. "And (director Louis Leterrier) said, ‘Come in, we’ll record you next week.’ Everybody thought it was either a staged event or we wouldn’t really do it. But the next week Lou came in in L.A. and his voice is the voice of the Hulk." [Source]

So a deaf guy is good at saying “Hulk smash!”, big whoop.  I’ve seen a gorilla do sign language.  Which is more amazing?  I don’t know, but I say we settle this via thunderdome.

Thanks to the magic of the intertubes, someone out there read my plan for re-cutting the new trailer for the Incredible Hulk and put ideas into action.  The new trailer is simpler, but more effective I think.

Why can’t the rest of you be more like Seth here?  Kid’s a real go-getter, I’ll tell you what.

After the jump, I’ve got a new trailer for The Incredible Hulk, which, according to ComingSoon, can be found on Best Buy promo DVDs – free with select DVD purchases.  Movie voice guy says:

Dr. Bruce Banner, genetic scientist, experimenting with the body’s ability to repair itself and fight disease, until an accidental overdose of gamma radiation unleashes something inside him.  Something… incredible. 

At this point in my recut of this trailer, the screen would fade to black and Bruce Banner would unleash a truly epic fart.  The kind of fart that could end a marriage.

[Movie voice guy, cont’d] Pursued by the military, searching for a cure, until a new threat emerged, unlike anything we’ve seen before.  [Bruce Banner] “There’s only one thing that can fight that, and it’s in me.”

*Tony Stark emerges from behind Banner, sweaty and naked from the waist up* [Stark] “You trying to tell me something?  Should I throw the suit on or what?”   

Source for video = ComingSoon

Source for fart-ending-marriage joke = George Carlin 

The internets are all a titter with new clips from The Incredible Hulk – you can watch a couple of them after the jump, but I think my favorite is the one above.  It’s a promo for the Hulk-themed American Gladiator episode that airs two weeks from now.  Just in case Titan’s spandex clothes, flaccid, highlighted blonde locks, waxed eyebrows, and smooth, steroid-enhanced physique weren’t gay enough for you, now he’s going to paint himself green, flex a lot, and whisper creepy stuff in the contestants’ ears.

In related news, when I take other men from behind I think it’s really hot to talk in a Macho Man Randy Savage Voice.  Tiiime for a reacharound! OHHH YEEAAAAH!   *smashes bedside lamp with dildo*