My apologies if this is too “inside baseball,” but a movie earning $172,000 in its first weekend of release isn’t — SPOILER — good. If I haven’t already lost you with all that cinematic jargon, let’s talk about inAPPropriate Comedy, a quote-unquote “comedy film” directed by Vince Offer, a.k.a. the ShamWow Guy who got into an “altercation” with a Florida prostitute four years ago, that earned a whooping $625 per theater. By comparison’s sake, Movie 43 is f*cking Avatar. inAPPropriate stars the murderers’ row of talent that is Rob Schneider, Michelle Rodriguez, Adrien Brody (as “Flirty Harry”), and Lindsay Lohan.

Of course it does.

Read the rest of this entry »

This week in posters is back, and just in time for some new Spring Breakers posters. I’ll be honest, I’m struggling to say anything about this besides Ashley Benson’s name while I bit my knuckle, but instead I’ll simply say that a teeny-bopper movie with a bunch of Disney Channel queens from notorious dicknosers Harmony Korine and James Franco is something I’d pay at least double the price of admission for. I’m dying to know what glorious dicknose is in store for us with this one.

Also, these chicks are all like 18 to 22, aren’t they? Do we really need all the airbrushing? Cut it out with the filters, I want to see every dimple. Uh, I mean… airbrushing is a sexist tool of the patriarchy that promotes an unhealthy body image among impressionable young girls. (Phew, good save, Mancini, good save).
Read the rest of this entry »