I try to keep my site a moral outrage and righteous indignation-free zone, but I can’t keep from pointing out that the Academy are being huge dicks about this Corey Haim thing.  People were upset when Haim was left off the SAG Awards In Memoriam segment, which gave the Academy a whole month to add two stills of Haim from Lucas and Lost Boys that they could throw onscreen for two seconds while Celine Dion sang her obnoxious song and keep everyone happy.  But instead they left him out, while honoring Ronni Chasen (a publicist) and airing Halle Berry’s 10-minute tribute to Lena Horne (OOOOH LOOK HOW INCLUSIVE AND DIVERSE YOU ARE, ACADEMY! YOUR LACK OF BLACK NOMINEES THIS YEAR IS TOTALLY FORGIVEN!).  Which leads us to another exciting installment of: Corey Feldman, Unlikely Voice of Reason.

Feldman tells us, “Corey [Haim]‘s films have earned the industry over a half a billion dollars and his work remains an inspiration to young artists world wide… Corey dedicated his life to the film industry. The same industry that failed to dedicate even 30 seconds to his memory.”

The Feldster might have gotten a little carried away with the inspiration to young artists bit, but other than that, he’s completely right.  How say you, Academy (specifically, producers Don Mischer and Bruce Cohen)?  Heartfelt apology?  Fake apology, even?

For their part, the Academy released a statement that reads: “Whatever the length of the sequence, there will always be fans and family members of those not included who will be disappointed by their omission. The Academy extends its understanding and its apologies to those who missed seeing a favorite face in this year’s feature.” [TMZ]

Ouch, form letter.  Well f*ck you very much too, you shriveled, stutter-loving c*cksuckers.  I guess The Academy is your cable provider now.  There’s nothing like pointing out a wrong and then having the offending party respond with a vague non-apology addressed to a nebulous third party.  It’s even worse than a disingenuous apology because you can sense them typing it with one hand while they wank dismissively with the other.  “Oh, sorry if we kept you from banging your ugly wives, trolls, but do the math: we can’t include every loser in our gnarly segment, duh. WINNING.”

I hereby sentence the Academy to watch every episode of The Coreys.

(I choose to remember Corey Haim the way he lived — loosely related to Greasy Sax Dude)

There are snubs and there are snubs, but there’s no bigger slap in the face for an actor than getting left off an “In Memoriam” montage the year you die.  People still talk about Brad Renfro’s snub, but in my mind, the biggest oversight was leaving out Don LaFontaine a few years ago.  This year’s In Memoriam montage at the SAG Awards left out Corey Haim (Lost Boys, Lucas, License to Drive, Crank High Voltage), which might be forgivable if they hadn’t included both Gary Coleman and Zelda Rubenstein (the weird lady from Poltergeist). Ouch.  That’s like not getting into a club and then seeing Danny Masterson in there.  (MASTERSON! *shakes fist*)

“We have become used to not being honored by our peers in the industry,” Haim’s ‘Lost Boys’ co-star and friend Corey Feldman tells PopEater upon learning of the snub. “I have faith that the Academy will make a wiser choice.”

For their part, the show’s producers say the oversight was nothing personal, Haim was simply cut for time.

[Producer] Kathy Connell notes that two packages were prepared for broadcast: “A longer version in hopes of being able to salute more actors and a shorter version if it was needed due to time.”
“Mr. Haim was in the longer version,” Connell says. “As the show was running long, we were forced to choose the shorter package.” [PopEater]

Somehow that doesn’t make it any better.  In fact, it makes him sound like the World’s Fastest Grocery Bagger getting bumped from Letterman after Stupid Pet Tricks ran long.  BUT WAIT! THE BEST INSULT IS YET TO COME!  The actual headline Popeater chose to illustrate this story was “SAGs Producer: Time Wasn’t Kind to Corey Haim”, accompanied by a side-by-side photo of young Corey next to older, more bloated Corey.  Get it? It’s clever because he aged badly. Stay classy, guys.

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Child actor and star of Diff’rent Strokes Gary Coleman passed away today at the age of 42 after complications from an intracranial hemorrhage. After showing signs of improvement and consciousness yesterday, Coleman slipped into a coma and was taken off life support today. Coleman’s acting gigs were few and far between over the past decade, with his most recent appearance being in something called Midgets vs. Mascots, and his last recognizable roles coming mostly as cameos as himself. Like most child actors, Coleman’s life was filled with embarrassing revelations and public humility. He’ll always be remembered for his TV catchphrase, “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” and I’ll always remember him for his cameo in Dirty Work, one of the most underappreciated comedies of the last 20 years.

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One of the longest-running Oscar segments is “In Memoriam,” during which the Academy honors the movie people who died that year.  Problem is, certain people always get left out (like Brad Renfro last year) and no one knows exactly why.  Notable exclusions this year included: George Carlin (not really known for movies, so okay), Patrick McGoohan (The Prisoner, Longshanks in Braveheart), Eartha Kitt (Catwoman), and voice of the movies Don LaFontaine. (You can see a list of those they did honor after the jump).

Out of all of these, how the f-ck do you forget Don LaFontaine?  He did virtually every movie trailer for 30 years and was easily the most famous voice-over guy who ever lived (not to mention, you know, VOICE OF THE OSCARS).  And right there in his will it said, “Please cremate me, give all my money to my family, and please, PLEASE make sure Queen Latifah sings a shitty song about me at the Oscars.”  You’ve dishonored the man’s memory, you Slumdog-loving f-cks.  I hope he haunts your dreams. And “memoriam”?  What the hell does that even mean? Is that some kind of secret code? Screw you, hippies.

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