(“Movie of the year,” raves Schadenfreude Sloth)

The Hangover and Up spent a second weekend at the number one and two spots this weekend, while the aggressively mediocre Taking of Pelham 123 debuted at number three, and Eddie Murphy’s Imagine That opened at number six, earning just $5.7 million even though it opened on 3,000+ screens.  As Schadenfreude Sloth reminds me, that’s Eddie’s second bomb in a row after Meet Dave.

The Hangover and Up both held well, with the Hangover dropping only 26% in its second weekend and Up declining 31% in its third.  Compare that with Land of the Lost‘s 51% drop and you wonder if maybe studios will stop trying to market everything to kids.  Or in the case of Eddie Murphy, maybe stop trying to make the same  movie over and over again, including twice in the same year once with Eddie Murphy and once with Adam Sandler.  But don’t count on it.  They’ll probably just try to recoup their expenses with Imagine That 3D.  This time with a “more mainstream” plot. (top 10 after the jump)

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Opening this weekend:

Imagine That
Eddie Murphy stars in a movie that’s already been made 15 or 16 times.  And that’s just in the last five years.  I smell another huge bomb.  It’s a trick I learned from bomb-sniffing dogs.

Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
John Travolta and Denzell Washington’s train kidnapping movie (it’s a remake).  It’s possible it’s really good and I’m just missing out, but it just seems like the kind of movie I’ll eventually see on a plane.

Food Inc. (NY, LA, SF)
Documentary about the food industry, only playing in LA at the moment.  It’ll tell you all about modern chickens and their comically oversized breasts.

Moon (NY and LA)
Sam Rockwell plays a man sent to the moon for a one-year mission with his only company a computer who converses in emoticons.  Is it just me, or does every hipster look a little like Sam Rockwell.

Up until recently, Eddie Murphy and Nickelodeon films had collaborated only in my worst nightmare. But Imagine That comes out in June, and today USA Today ran a fawning piece about it.

Eddie Murphy, plus adorable little girl, a little bit of fantasy and lots of funny — it could be a winning formula. Murphy, who has proved to be appealing with kids and animals [and tranny hookers -Ed.], plays a successful financial exec who’s too busy to bother with 7-year-old Olivia. That is, until she and her invisible pals (princesses, a queen and a dragon) start giving him stock tips —good stock tips.

“He begins to get interested in her for the wrong reason, and in that process, he learns to see who she is and becomes a different man,” says producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura.

“The obvious metaphor is we need to slow down and listen to our children,” adds director Karey Kirkpatrick. “This is the kind of movie people are going to say, ‘Eddie is back and doing the kind of thing we like to see him do.’ Not only is he funny, he’s genuine and heartfelt, and the relationship rings very true.”

Adds Di Bonaventura: “Anyone who sees it and doesn’t cry does not have a heart.”

Oh, I’ll cry.  I’ll cry because YOU’VE ALREADY MADE THIS MOVIE A THOUSAND F-CKING TIMES.  Die in a fire.

In an apparent bid to make me self immolate, Nickelodeon has joined forces with Eddie Murphy. This one’s called Imagine That, and Eddie’s daughter has an imaginary friend who predicts the stock market.  Oh man, I wonder if he’ll learn that her love is more important than money!  I’m on the edge of my seat!