Not the master of being considerate enough to shut the screen door and keep the bugs out, I guess.

Not a lot is going on this week with major Hollywood DVD releases, but at least what little there is includes The Master. There’s also the latest Twilight flick, but it doesn’t come out until Saturday, so come back in four days and see that I’m still not covering it. Not to worry, though; as always there’s enough obscure indie, low-budget and foreign fare to discuss.  Besides The Master, we’ll cover flicks with Gerard Butler, Sharon Stone, and Christian Slater.  We’ve got flicks about surfers and AIDS and elephants and zombies, and even another elephant. Trust me, this other one is luckier than the rest.  There’s a company of heroes and some fast girls.  We’ve even got a zombie massacre!

The DVDs:
The Master
Chasing Mavericks
How To Survive A Plague
Holy Motors
Border Run
Company Of Heroes
Freaky Deaky
The Loneliest Planet
Darnell Dawkins: Mouth Guitar Legend
The Eyes Of Thailand
500 MPH Storm
Fast Girls
My Lucky Elephant
Silent Souls
Total Retribution
Zombie Massacre: Army Of The Dead

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

The description for one of these movies includes the phrase ‘Reptilian Sex God!‘ You’ll have to continue reading to find out which one it is.  There’s also a movie with both Andy Dick and Crispin Glover. If you want to know which flick that is, you know what to do, continue reading.  If you’ve already seen The Master and are pretty sure everything else is crap, feel free to click the link above and skip right to this week’s streaming suggestions.  You’ll miss out on some graphic video of elephants having sex, but that’s your choice to make, I guess. Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone’s favorite lazy-eyed comedumpster (also my nickname in middle school), Paris Hilton, recently sat down with Movieline for an interview, where she was promoting… well, something.  Honestly, who gives a sh*t.  The important thing is that she named her favorite movie scene, and it was a journey into the mouth of moronity the likes of which we haven’t seen since we discussed Jared Loughner’s favorite movie.  But before we get to that, there’s something Paris would like to get off her chest (haha, no, not hobo jizz, silly!):

In The Simple Life, producers told me to play a dumb blonde and that’s what I did. I didn’t realize at the time that I’d have to do that for five seasons and keep up this character of me. I think people assume that that is how I am in real life but I’m actually quite a businesswoman.

Oh right, that was just a character you were playing on a reality show, because that would be better.  We’re so sorry for making assumptions based on behavior you presented to us as reality, that was really immature!

At Movieline, we play a game called “My Favorite Scene” where we ask actors to remember their favorite film moment of all-time, and explain why it resonated with them. What is yours?
I really love the movie There’s Something About Mary. One of the funniest scenes is when the dog, like, dies and Ben Stiller has to electrocute it back to life. Who was it? Ben Stiller or Matt Damon? [Editor’s note: It was Matt Dillon.] And the dog, like, comes to life. I thought that was hilarious.

“As an intelligent businesswoman, I thought it was really funny when they burnt the doggie.  Why, I nearly dropped my monocle and spilled mint julep on my pant suit!”

But Paris, what about the jizz-in-the-hair scene?  Probably hit a little too close to home.

Read the rest of this entry »

The big news today is that Joaquin Phoenix went on Letterman last night, this time not in character.  You can hear all about it from boyish wonder Matt Ufford over on WarmingGlow, but probably the best exchange was Dave demanding money for his appearance in I’m Still Here, now that they’ve publicly admitted it wasn’t a strict “documentary.”

Joaquin: “Can we talk about it privately?”

Dave: “Yeah, I’ll go to one of your screenings.”

ZING!  Seriously though, well played, Letterman.  Meanwhile, over on his blog, Roger Ebert published an email exchange with Casey Affleck about the documentary concept which is worth a read, if you’re into that sort of thing.  My sister was a reader.

The bottom line: Casey Affleck thinks of it as a performance and not as an act, and he thinks of “I’m Still Here” as a film, and not a hoax. In an interview where he revealed details behind the making of his controversial film with and about Joaquin Phoenix, he also said:

- David Letterman was not in on the performance, and what you saw on his show was really happening.

- Phoenix dropped out of character when he was not being filmed or in public.

- The drugs and the hookers were staged. The vomiting was real. [phew!]

Read the rest of this entry »

Well, now all the nonbelievers can finally add Disheveled Joaquin Phoenix to their list of imaginary holiday figures -Casey Affleck has officially revealed to the New York Times that his upcoming Joaquin Phoenix fecal party, I’m Still Here, is actually just a piece of performance art. Shocking, I know. And for all three of the people who just genuinely gasped, I’d like you to drink some of this Kool-Aid.

*hands over leather canteen*

In a series of e-mails that followed a Thursday interview with the paper, Affleck turned all bromo and couldn’t stop praising the star of his film:

“His performance is compelling, always watchable, manages to be repulsive and charming, believable in all emotions, completely committed, incredibly brave,” wrote Mr. Affleck. It must have been “tedious” for Mr. Phoenix, he said. “How difficult to resist the cheap joke, the wink, the nudge.” But, he added: “He has the tools for this. He has the goods in spades.”

“I hope Joaquin gets nominated for all kinds of awards,” wrote Mr. Affleck. “He deserves it.”

Yeah, whatever you say, Casey. He has goods in spades and three in the stink, we get it. When asked about the infamous David Letterman interview, Affleck was adamant that Dave wasn’t in on the gag, but the New York Times posted a link to an article from Nuvo.net where Late Night writer, Bill Scheft, claims Letterman was completely aware the whole time.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m Still Here, Casey Affleck’s documentary about Joaquin Phoenix’s mumble rappin’, cape buyin’ public breakdown, which may or may not have been a put on for the movie (it clearly was), is currently playing the Venice Film Festival.  And now, according to reports, the festival has been crashed by a Joaquin Phoenix impersonator.  A hoax about a hoax from a guy pretending to be a guy pretending to have a breakdown?  That’s so meta it makes my scarf chafe.  (*BRAAAAAHM*)

As Casey Affleck, producer/director on the offbeat documentary “I’m Still Here” builds buzz in Toronto for his directorial debut, his PR team has raised the alarm on an apparent charlatan who arrives by limousine at festival venues, and is accompanied by “a massive entourage of security and scantily clad female groupies.”

The blogosphere hasn’t yet lit up with confirming sightings of the faux Joaquin Pheonix, but Affleck is concerned enough about his fans being “tricked and disillusioned by the fraud” that he’s set to address the media Friday night outside the Varsity Theatre, just before “I’m Still Here” debuts in Toronto. [HollywoodReporter]

Gosh, it’s strange that his PR people have been the only ones to report this so far.  It’s almost as if they’re… inventing a publicity stunt… to promote their movie about… publicity stunts.  Hey, guys, I’ll go see your poo-prank movie, but not if you’re going to act all smug about it.  No one likes a smug poo pranker.  My mother taught me that.

UPDATE: According to a tipster, the impostor in question is this guy:

Read the rest of this entry »