Set your scanners to Smashin’, people. Anti-tobacco Nazis are waging war against Rango for its numerous depictions of characters smoking and holy crap I want to put my fist straight through this story. After the jump, I plan on losing my mind until my blood pressure hits 600/400 and I just stroke out and die where I sit. Eh, I had a good run.
But before I do that, let me get two things out of the way. First, I used to be a smoker. Every day for 7+ years, I smoked anywhere from a handful of cigarettes to well over a full pack. After trying to quit a crapload of times, it finally stuck and I haven’t had one in five-ish years. Big whoop. I didn’t do it for applause or anything. I did it because it’s gross and expensive, and daddy likes breathing and having some change jingle-jangling in his pocket. Second of all, now that I’m not essentially breathing fire a few dozen times a day, I certainly understand people who want to go to a bar for happy hour and not come out smelling like Lindsay Lohan’s voice. My issue lies not with these people. My issue lies with people who want to pass ordinances restricting smoking outside (OUTSIDE) or in your own home. Or, in this case, people who want EVERY MOVIE THAT CONTAINS A SINGLE INSTANCE OF SMOKING TO BE RATED R. These people are not to be trusted.
Ok, let’s take this story apart limb by limb.