The cast of Snow White and the Huntsman had a panel at Comic Con this weekend and, among a few other interesting items of worth, they released the first images of the film’s characters. As you can see above, Charlize Theron is playing the Queen, a casting decision that is clearly going to alter the way two generations of males remember the classic Disney cartoon. Also revealed were Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart as an emo Snow White, and Sam Claflin as the Prince. You may remember Claflin from his previous role as that forgettable dude in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

Of course when you think of Snow White, you think of a classical beauty, singing and rolling around with woodland creatures before she’s roofied by the mean, old queen. But not this version, at least according to Stewart.

Kristen Stewart said that the character channels thing that people are typically afraid of into a powerful, driving energy. She said this Snow White is very much the people’s leader, and that “she doesn’t let her heart cloud her mind and doesn’t let her mind get in the way” of doing what she feels she has to do. She also mentioned that mirrors – very much a part of the Snow White mythos – take on an interesting role here, as Snow White is portrayed as a character without even the concept of vanity, and she’s not even remotely self-conscious. (Via io9)

That’s good, because the last thing I think of when someone mentions Stewart is the use of a mirror. But I know you’re probably wondering the same thing I first thought – what’s up with the dwarfs, son? Oh they’re in this version and they’re played by Nick Frost, Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Johnny Harris, Bob Hoskins, Eddie Marsdan, Brendan Gleeson and… Ian McShane. Baddest dwarf casting ever.

And you’re also probably thinking, “Hey Burnsy, you’re super hot and all, but that’s 8 dwarfs.” True. But director Rupert Sanders dropped a spoiler on the audience by admitting that one of them dies. My guess is Winehousey.

Character images after the jump. Try and guess which face Kristen Stewart makes.

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Vinnie’s Playgirl shoot is running longer than expected today, so I thought I’d take a second to make your lives better with the new teaser trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides, because I know that’s what you’ve been praying for all day. Here’s the thing – I know most of us Drunkards don’t quite care for the Pirates films (well, obviously the pornos, but I digress) but this one has Ian McShane in it as Captain Blackbeard. And I checked my Man Rules book and sure enough – Chapter 37: If It Has Ian McShane It Might Not Suck.

It also has sexy mermaids, unsexy zombies and Penelope Cruz yelling things in some sort of ancient language. Is that Egyptian? Mayan? Swahili? We may never know.

Interesting side note: “There’s the jack I know” is what I yell at climax.

Trailer after the jump…

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The big news last night was that Deadwood‘s Ian McShane was negotiating to join the cast of Pirates of the Caribbean 4, to be directed by Rob Marshall and starring Johnny Depp.  McShane will play Blackbeard, apparently based on the real guy, Edward Teach.

People seem really excited about this, and I get it.  Johnny Depp is great, and Ian McShane is great, especially as a trade for Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, who won’t be coming back.  But excuse me for not breaking out the champagne and butt plugs just yet. This is still a third sequel directed by the guy who did Kate Hudson’s perfume commercial and the producer who came up with the idea for Kangaroo Jack.  Hiring Ian McShane to be in this is kind of like getting Christina Hendricks to tell me I have herpes.  Better, yes.  Good, no.

You wanna put Blackbeard in the movie?  If he’s going to put lit fuses in his beard and shoot people with cannons, cool.  You know what I don’t want to see him doing?  Driving an upside-down pirate ship to never-never fairy land to break an ancient curse. You wanna make a pirate movie?  Fine.  But based on the wasted hours Jerry Bruckheimer already owes me, I have to assume this is just going to be National Treasure with boats and eyeliner again.

This is the trailer for 44-Inch Chest, which sadly isn’t about boobs, but somehow still sounds really awesome. Says Twitch:

What happens when the writers of hard edged British gangster picture Sexy Beast tackle family drama?  You get 44 Inch Chest, a story of marital infidelity that takes a decidedly dark and nasty turn.  Ray Winstone, Ian McShane, John Hurt and Tom Wilkinson star in what must surely be one of the best acted, most incredibly sweary films to come out of the UK in years.

Jesus, I love those actors, it’s like a who’s who of badasses.  Aside from James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman, does anyone have a cooler voice than Ray Winstone?  If Morgan Freeman is sexual chocolate, Ray Winstone is the persuasive sound of all my negative impulses.  “Oi, ‘ave anuvva drink, ya cunt.  ‘as you gone soft?  Oy fink dat mailbox wiz givin you da stink oy. You fink da bounsah wants to ‘ave a go? ‘e’s big but oy reckon ‘e’s nuffin specio.”

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^{WATCH THE TRAILER FOR DEATH RACE AFTER THE JUMP}

Paul WS Anderson, director of such classics as Resident Evil, Event Horizon, and Aliens Vs. Predator, has a new film out called Death Race.  It’s a remake of a 1975 B-movie Death Race 2000 which starred David Carradine and Sly Stallone.  The remake stars Ian McShane, Tyrese Gibson, and Jason Statham and if you think there’s not gonna be scowling you’ve got another thing coming.

I like how they edit it with really quick cuts.  In so many trailers these days the shots go one just a little too long.  I mean, an 8th of a second?  Who has time for that?  So often I sit here going, "Ahh FUCKI’MBORED!  FUCKI’MBOREDAGAIN!  I’MSTILLFUCKINBORED!"  But not with Death Race.  They know I like my action… um, fast, and… uh, furious.

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