Bill Murray as FDR playing water polio.

I’ll give it to you straight: the only new DVD this week you’ve heard of is Hyde Park On Hudson, the movie in which Bill Murray plays Franklin Delano Roosevelt, but that doesn’t mean the other DVDs all suck; it just means you haven’t heard of them yet.  Also, they pretty much all suck.  But some of them don’t.  Maybe.  Good or bad, each and every DVD this week stars at least someone you’ve heard of, assuming you watch the right TV shows and/or listen to Christian contemporary music. Besides Bill Murray as history’s greatest cripple (suck it, Stephen Hawking), we’ve got films starring James Gandolfini, Jet Li, Judd Nelson, William Hurt, Michael Madsen, Eric Roberts, Eric Roberts (he’s in two movies this week) and everyone’s favorite Greens, Eva and Seth. (Suck it, Brian Austin.)

The DVDs:
Hyde Park On Hudson
Down The Shore
Womb
Sexy Evil Genius
The Sorcerer And The White Snake
Bad Kids Go To Hell
The Kitchen
Late Bloomers
Luster
Crush
Infected
Shadow Witness
Ring The Bell
The Kill Hole
Paranormal Movie
Worth: The Testimony Of Johnny St. James

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Think you know what a kill hole is?  The only way to be sure is to continue reading. Wondering who the sexy evil genius is?  You might find out if you continue reading.  Did you just finish streaming Fire With Fire on Netflix Instant and are eager for more suggestions?  Just click the link above, but if you do you’ll never know which film will cause you to seriously consider the definition of incest. Read the rest of this entry »

“And the audience is supposed to believe a pro soccer player would settle down with one woman.”

Opening Everywhere: Playing for Keeps, Hyde Park on Hudson

Maybe Opening Somewhere: Deadfall

FilmDrunk Suggests: Of the eight films opening this weekend – and I say opening as in they’re available this weekend, because some of these will never see the dark of a theater – one has a positive Rotten Tomatoes score. That film is The Fitzgerald Family Christmas, which was written and directed by my cousin Edward Burns, and I have never heard of that, nor do I expect to see that posted outside my movie theater. So as I spend even more of my precious hours watching the f*cking worst films I’ve ever seen for your entertainment, I need you all to will Cincinnati Bengals receiver AJ Green to good health. Positive energy, folks. That’s what will win me money. Thanks.

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If you told me that you were making yet another movie about British royalty, I’d probably attempt to fit a scone and entire tea set up your ass. If you told me that same movie starred Bill Murray as FDR, well, the tea set would be a lost cause at that point, but I’d probably feel pretty bad about it.

In June 1939, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (Academy Award nominee Bill Murray) and his wife Eleanor (Olivia Williams) host the King and Queen of England (Samuel West and Olivia Colman) for a weekend at the Roosevelt home at Hyde Park on Hudson, in upstate New York – the first-ever visit of a reigning English monarch to America. With Britain facing imminent war with Germany, the Royals are desperately looking to FDR for support. But international affairs must be juggled with the complexities of FDR’s domestic establishment, as wife, mother, and mistresses all conspire to make the royal weekend an unforgettable one. Seen through the eyes of Daisy (Academy Award nominee Laura Linney), Franklin’s neighbor and intimate, the weekend will produce not only a special relationship between two great nations, but, for Daisy – and through her, for us all – a deeper understanding of the mysteries of love and friendship. Opens December 7th.[FocusFeatures]

Okay fine, but if anyone stutters or gets diction lessons, I swear to God I’m walking out.

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