[via YouTube]

MORNING LINKS
Arnold Schwarzenegger bought a totally reasonable-sized car |Film Drunk|

Joe King makes a personal visit to the Frotquarters. |Frotcast|

Clint Eastwood’s speech Gangnam Style. [via Fck Yeah Dementia]

Breaking Badass Power Rankings: ‘Gliding Over All’ |Warming Glow|

12 Too Good To Be True Viral Photo Hoaxes|UPROXX|

News Story Of The Year: Man Tebowed After Pushing Kid From Tractor… Or Did He??? |With Leather|

5 Problems The ‘God Of War’ Movie Will Face |Gamma Squad|

Coming Attractions: Nike Holiday 2012 Releases |Smoking Section|

Receiver Brady Photoshopkkake |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

So LeAnn Rimes Went To Rehab For Twitter? |The Superficial|

Nicki Minaj Is A Republican, Is Voting For Mitt Romney |Buzzfeed|

Childrens Hospital Webisode: What if Childrens Hospital Were an Amusement Park Ride |Adult Swim|

Nine songs from 2012 that should have been huge….. or, Why the majority of music from 2012 sucks |Fark|

What Breaking Bad Owes to The Shining |Vulture|

Most Amazing Dad Dance Ever? |HuffPost Comedy|

Roxbury Twins Of The Day |Daily What|

Check out This Awesome Handmade Angry Birds Controller |Unreality|

11 Really Terrible 19th-Century Beauty Tips |Mental Floss|

Ranking The Best Fictional Locations |College Humor|

Sweded Avengers |Epic WTFs|

Labor Day Pains: Celebrating The Hardest Working Men and Women In Movies and TV |Pajiba|

The PSYning |High Definite|

Check Out This Amazing Table Tennis Shot from the Paralympics |Brobible|

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A new song from Parry Gripp: “Raccoon Eating Nachos.” Of course we’re posting it.

MORNING LINKS
Probably the best headline of all time |Film Drunk|

15 Important Reminders That WWE Superstars Should Not Be Allowed To Record Music |With Leather|

GIF via

For real though, this week’s Frotcast with a guy who recreated Marco Polo’s journey is super interesting. |Frotcast|

Boyd Crowder and Joffrey Discuss Why They’re So Evil |Warming Glow|

Jon Stewart Points Out The Hypocrisy In Bloomberg’s Proposed Ban On Sugary Drinks |UPROXX|

“We’re Not Against Rap…We’re Not Against Rappers…” |Smoking Section|

And The Newly-Outed Gay Character In DC Comics Is… |Gamma Squad|

Zhang Ziyi Might Be A Hooker, Though Probably Not By Choice, Yeesh |TheSuperficial|

15 Insane Theories About Movies And Television That Will Blow Your Mind |Buzzfeed|

Just A Pretty Good Interview With Two Girls Who Robbed A Child |Videogum|

15 Worst Comedy Sequels Of All Time |HuffPost Comedy|

Jim Henson’s Commercials for Defunct Products |Mentalfloss|

Car hits building made famous by “Clerks.” It wasn’t even supposed to be there today |Fark|

The Roots Cover ‘Paul Revere’ |TheDailyWhat|

Six Pseudo-Spoilerish Reasons Why You’re Wrong To Doubt Ridley Scott And The Women Of Prometheus |Pajiba|

The Masterworks Of David Haselhoff |ScreenJunkies|

A Gallery of the Over-Exuberance of Will Smith |Unreality|

Jenny McCarthy Still Has These |IDLYITW|

Tiger Woods Makes ‘Best Shot Ever,’ Wins The Memorial Tournament |Brobible|

Skateboard Tricks At 1000 FPS |High Definite|

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"You wouldn't like my mom when she's disappointed."

Just a reminder for all you kids out there, if you’re trying to paint yourself green like the Incredible Hulk, maybe stick with grease paint or sharpie. Stay away from the stuff they use to paint missiles and submarines.

Brazilian man Enrique dos Santos,35, a swimming pool attendant, was trying to look like superhero The Hulk but used a paint reserved for ballistic missiles and nuclear submarines. The comic book fan tried to scrub off the glossy green in the shower, but the substance stained his skin.

Wait, is the swimming pool at a military facility? Because otherwise this guy’s got some connections. You’d think if you could get ahold of submarine paint you could wrangle yourself a better job than 35-year-old towel man. Also, hold the phone, Brazil has nuclear submarines now? I don’t buy it. Those people would be shooting bottle rockets off in there the first holiday and they’d all die of smoke inhalation. I have to assume their only “nuclear submarines” are spicy sandwiches. So this guy painted himself like a spicy sandwich. Nothing about this story adds up.

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When Mark Ruffalo was announced as Bruce Banner in The Avengers, I was one of the few people that didn’t think that was a terrible idea.  After all, scruffy beta male Ruffalo (who comes just before Sam Rockwell on the actors-to-hobos spectrum) doesn’t have to play the Hulk, I thought, just laidback Bruce Banner.  Yeah, well guess what.

In Marvel’s upcoming The Avengers, though, Mark Ruffalo will actually* play the Hulk: “I’m really excited. No one’s ever played the Hulk exactly, they’ve always done CGI,” he told us at last night’s Launch of Farmhearts at Pure Yoga. “They’re going to do the Avatar stop-action, stop-motion capture. So I’ll actually play the Hulk. That’ll be fun.”  [Editor's note: *not actually, but sort of.]

Mark Ruffalo is a better actor than he gets credit for, so I have no doubt he can pull this of– wait a second, did you just say the Hulk was at a yoga party?  Oh screw this. HULK HAMSTRING NOT FLEXIBLE, HULK HATE DOLPHIN POSE!  (*kicks downward dog*)

Can’t we just get Stallone to play the Hulk?   I already read all of his Tweets in a Hulk voice:

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We could sit here arguing about whether Mark Ruffalo is right to play the Hulk until we’re blue in the face, but one thing is for certain: the Dhallywood (Bangladeshi) version of the Incredible Hulk, Halka, looks a thousand times better than any of the American Hulk movies.  For one thing, the CGI is incredible.

Actually, probably my favorite part of this whole trailer is the fact that there’s no dialog, and yet I still feel like it needs translating.  Is the plot of this one that Bangladeshi Bruce Banner gets gay-raped by a pack of thugs?  This a serious question.  It starts out with a group of street toughs hitting him in the ass with a pick axe, and the next thing you know, his pants are around his ankles.  I don’t think I’m reading too much into things to assume that a guy with his pants around his ankles with another man behind him with a flower falling to the ground in slow motion might be in the process of getting deflowered.  I mean, symbolism doesn’t get much more obvious than that.  Foreign films are so artsy.

Foreign versions of things are usually better.  For instance, this is the Nigerian Lady Gaga:

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