Burnsy already broke the news yesterday accompanied by this glorious Photoshop, but in case you didn’t trust an early exclusive from a site called “gossipcop,” rest easy as it has been confirmed, Channing Tatum has been named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. Burnsy and I feel pretty confident in taking credit for all of C-Tates’ success thus far, and we couldn’t be happier for him.

But of course, the internet couldn’t simply accept this news without starting

“I really think it’s time that we as a nation confront @PeopleMag about their Sexiest Man Alive voting. Recount! #teamryan” wrote @haleyleigh.

“Channing Tatum looks a lot like this one guy I regretted making out with. Gosling looks like the human personification of Ecstasy. #teamryan” wrote @summeranne.

“One could make the argument that Ryan Gosling would even be the sexiest man dead, too. #teamryan,” wrote @samir.

“PEOPLE should just start a monthly Ryan Gosling mag to make up for the travesty of not picking him for Sexiest Man again. #teamryan” wrote @msmarysa.

“Seriously, does People magazine have something against Gosling? No offense Tatum, I think you’re tops, just not as tops as #teamryan” ‏@Gillian_English [AlbanyUnion]

Stop it, just stop. This is stupid. Look, I’m the President of Huggalo Nation, but comparing Baby Goose and C-Tates is like comparing the white swan to the… uh… the swan that dresses like a black swan. Sometimes you want a sweet boy who’ll bake you a lasagna and sing double dutch rhymes with your niece, and other times you want a guy to drop the beat and wave his C-piece in your face. True story: When SirMixaLot sang “even whiteboys got ta shout,” he was talking about Channing Tatum. Let’s let him enjoy the moment, shall we?

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"These hands touched ScarJo's titties. Wanna smell 'em?"

We already knew WB was reshooting Gangster Squad to take out the scene where the characters shoot people in a theater out of respect to the Aurora shooting victims, now it seems that reshoot is going to delay the movie, originally scheduled for September 7th, possibly until 2013.

The move is necessary to accomodate reshoots because of a scene of a movie theater shooting in the completed film that became problematic in the wake of the Aurora, Colo. massacre.
One date the studio is looking at is Jan. 11. Before making a final decision, though, the studio is currently looking at several factors, according to sources, such as how quickly the cast can be reassembled for the reshoot, concerns about cast availibility to do press in January and the competition on the calendar. The only other release currently scheduled for Jan. 11 is Paramount’s Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton. [THR]

I don’t understand how a movie that’s set in the forties is going to remind people of a shooting that happened in 2012, or, especially, how delaying the release of a movie is supposed to be respectful to a group of people who were united only by their desire to be the first to see a movie. But PR was never about making sense, only the appearance of making sense. This is bullsh*t. At a time like this, this country needs Baby Goose now more than ever. He’s the original uniter! He breaks up street fights with hugs! He stops traffic accidents using only his strong yet gentle arms! Wherever you stand on the gun control debate (and please please please, don’t feel the need to tell me), I think we can all agree that if Baby Goose had been in The Dark Knight Rises, this never would’ve happened. Huggalos Unite.

"So, Brutus, have I told you about my best friend, Patches? I think you two would get along super."

Ryan Gosling, who most recently made psychopathy huggable in Drive, made headlines this week when he gave his special lady, Eva Mendes a gift certificate (because that’s the kind of thing In Touch reports on) to a restaurant he co-owns. Wait, what?

The Drive actor has gifted his new love, Eva Mendes, 37, with free food – for life – in the form of a VIP card for Tagine, the Moroccan restaurant that he co-owns.
“Eva and Ryan are both foodies, so he surprised her with the unlimited gift certificate,” a friend of the actor tells In Touch.
“He’s looking for something permanent, and he’s hoping that he has found it with Eva. She’s everything he wants.” [InTouch via Celebitchy]

As Dan Hopper at BestWeekEver points out, a gift certificate generally isn’t the greatest gift, and hey, if he owns the restaurant, wouldn’t she be eating there for free anyway? Those are understandable questions. As an Exalted Carebear of Huggalo Nation (I was recently promoted), I feel it’s my duty to explain. See, people are reading too much into this “gift” thing. Baby Goose just really likes giving gift certificates. Gift certificates for hugs, gift certificates for three free foot massages, complimentary dog walking, buy one smooch get one free, three compliments for the price of one — he was going to do all that stuff anyway, a gift certificate is just a super neat excuse to write a personalized note.

“Here, girl, I got us I front row seats to the double-dutch match down the street. I drew them myself.”

It’s hard for a die-hard Huggalo like me to imagine that anyone needed further proof that Ryan Gosling is a human rainbow wrapped in kitten fur and sprinkled with confectioner’s sugar, but in case you don’t believe that the street fight he broke up went down the way everyone says it did, there’s a new interview with the witness to prove it. The guys from OMGICU caught up with Valerie, the girl who filmed the original video, and asked for her account of the incident.

Basically, what happened was that the black dude on the right is a painter who hangs out at Astor Place and St. Marks every day selling paintings. The day of the incident (which was June 24th, not Saturday, as US Weekly and others reported), the older white guy in glasses came by and snagged a painting without paying. The painter chased him down and grabbed him in the middle of the street and they started to scuffle. That’s when, out of nowhere, Baby Goose showed up like a ray of pure maple syrup from the heavens and sweetened everyone’s pancakes.

“He really did save the day. When at the end, I by mistake turned the camera off, Ryan took [the painter] to the corner and asked him what happened. And this guy explained to him, this guy stole my painting. And so [Baby Goose] said, “Well, how can we fix this? How much is the painting?”

And he said, well it’s ten dollars. So he dug into his wallet, took out a 20, gave it to the guy, and said, ‘Does this settle his debt now?’ And he said yeah. And they stopped fighting and everything was alright. [...] People are saying it was staged — it was not staged. He did that out of the kindness of his heart.”

Hey, girl. I was going to use this money to buy candy, but you know what’s sweeter? Friendship.

Hey girl, I know a guy who’s perfect for you. His name is Andrew Jackson. [Thanks, Burnsy]

Hey girl, I supported the arts today. [Thanks, Danger]

Hey, girl. Momma always said, friendliness is next to Goslingness.

Hey, girl. Look what I found behind your ear! Haha, just kidding, girl, I could never lie to you. It was in my pocket. But you can have it.

Hey, girl. Aren’t black people scary? Try giving him some money.

Hey, girl. I didn’t say that last thing, it was my evil twin, Bizarro Goose. He’s always trying to make me look bad. He has a soul patch. I still love him though. Haha, family!

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