Burnsy already broke the news yesterday accompanied by this glorious Photoshop, but in case you didn’t trust an early exclusive from a site called “gossipcop,” rest easy as it has been confirmed, Channing Tatum has been named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. Burnsy and I feel pretty confident in taking credit for all of C-Tates’ success thus far, and we couldn’t be happier for him.
But of course, the internet couldn’t simply accept this news without starting
“I really think it’s time that we as a nation confront @PeopleMag about their Sexiest Man Alive voting. Recount! #teamryan” wrote @haleyleigh.
“Channing Tatum looks a lot like this one guy I regretted making out with. Gosling looks like the human personification of Ecstasy. #teamryan” wrote @summeranne.
“One could make the argument that Ryan Gosling would even be the sexiest man dead, too. #teamryan,” wrote @samir.
“PEOPLE should just start a monthly Ryan Gosling mag to make up for the travesty of not picking him for Sexiest Man again. #teamryan” wrote @msmarysa.
“Seriously, does People magazine have something against Gosling? No offense Tatum, I think you’re tops, just not as tops as #teamryan” @Gillian_English [AlbanyUnion]
Stop it, just stop. This is stupid. Look, I’m the President of Huggalo Nation, but comparing Baby Goose and C-Tates is like comparing the white swan to the… uh… the swan that dresses like a black swan. Sometimes you want a sweet boy who’ll bake you a lasagna and sing double dutch rhymes with your niece, and other times you want a guy to drop the beat and wave his C-piece in your face. True story: When SirMixaLot sang “even whiteboys got ta shout,” he was talking about Channing Tatum. Let’s let him enjoy the moment, shall we?