I’ve often said of Cam Gigandet that I’d rather staple my scrotum to a moving helicopter rotor than have to stare at that goblin-faced baboon for a single second, but once again my pleas have been ignored. Gigandet has been hired to star in Rich Johnson a comedy about… wait for it… a man arguing with his own personified penis. Get it? “Rich Johnson?” I mean, it’s pretty subtle.

“Twilight” thesp Cam Gigandet and comedian Nick Thune (right) are set to star in the raunchy indie comedy “Johnson,” which is a co-production between 2DS Prods. and Roman’s Empire.

Huck Botko (“The Virginity Hit”) is directing from a script by Jeff Tetreault.

Gigandet will play Rich Johnson, a charismatic womanizer who receives his comeuppance after his penis mysteriously leaves his body and takes human form (Thune). Stripped of his manhood and pitted against his alter ego, protag must find a way to get his johnson back while learning how to be a better man in the process. [Variety]

If there’s one role that Cam Gigandet was born to play, it’s talking penis. Is that supposed to be the joke, casting him against type like this?

Here we have the first red-band trailer for The Virginity Hit (a couple swears, but no nudity), a teen sex comedy produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay and written and directed by Huck Botko and Andrew Gurland (don’t freak out, dude, I don’t know who they are either).  While I normally enjoy teen-sex comedies, especially documentary-style ones, as evidenced by my recent purchase of Underage Vagina Party 7, this looks… well, kind of like every other teen-sex comedy, but with worse production values.  Let’s see, we’ve got:

• Shy, dorky, virgin protagonist with loud, chubby best friend
• A botched sexual encounter caught on tape a la American Pie, Road Trip
• A hot girl who meets the protagonist on the internet and offers to take his virginity a la Sex Drive
• A pube-shaving scene (Knocked Up, She’s Out of My League)

That seems like enough clichés for a two-minute trailer.  I’m curious, based on Ferrell and McKay’s track record for discovering funny independent comedies (The Foot Fist Way), but this trailer sure isn’t doing it any favors.  Not to mention, what’s up with all these movies about people under 25 having sex?  Come on, Hollywood, this is real life, not a porno movie.

[via ThePlaylist]