A lot of people had been worried about Demi Moore ever since she and Ashton Kutcher got a divorce and he moved on to someone nearly half her age, but it looks like the 50-year old actress has rebounded nicely and found herself a real jewel of a man. *snickers*

Moore is reportedly dating younger once again, as she’s been seeing one of her yoga teacher certification classmates, 30-year old Will Hanigan, who is a third-generation pearl diver in Australia. I guess you could say that he’s a real priceless catch. *snorts*

But that’s not the most interesting thing about Hanigan. Not according to the New York Daily News, which points out that he has quite the unique manhood. You could almost say he’s bone-of-a-kind. *high fives loneliness*

“He had a pearl inserted in his penis when he was in his late teens,” said a source. “It is pearl farming tradition and he would always joke about it in Australia. He’d boast it’d give girls extra stimulation in the bedroom.”

I used up all of my penis jokes leading up to that quote, but you get the point. As for the whole health-related aspect of having a pearl surgically inserted into genitalia, the NY Daily News went right to an expert.

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week on the Frotcast, it’s the triumphant return of Burnsy, because one listener so vocally demanded it. He hips us to some fresh YouTube clips, like Brittany Smooch’s “Pink on Pink,” and a Teen Mom from MTV who wants to schedule her jail time around a Ke$ha concert. Burnsy also updates us on the how his list of 2012′s worst movies is going, and what he’ll need to see to complete it. Then Laremy drops by for some listing, and pitches his idea for a human-sized doggie door, which frankly seems like a winner. We discuss Killing Them Softly and Beasts of the Southern Wild, and Brendan yet again accurately describes an entire scene from an overrated arthouse movie without having seen a single second of it, not even a trailer. Adam’s got your detailed episode notes after the cut.

Check out the brand-new Frotcast.com to buy the Chicago Frotcast download ($1) or Ben’s limited-edition t-shirt featuring Bret’s squirrel painting.

Subscribe on iTunes (PLEASE RATE THE PODCAST!). My favorite review so far: “Of all the podcasts, this is the best. Take it from me, your old pal Hitler!”

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Last time we checked in on “actress” Tara Reid and her love life, she was happily married and boasting to the world tabloids about the joy she had found with a man whom she’d only been dating for a few weeks, according to people we’ve never heard of. Well it turns out that her marriage is a bit of what experts like to call a “sham” because the whole point of her wedding was to sell the pictures to those tabloids.

But that’s all in the past now, because Reid’s “acting” career has had a resurgence with her pivotal, binding role in American Reunion, which was a sharp and poignant reminder that those people still exist. Reid’s schedule is now booked solid with movie roles, including… well that’s strange. IMDB must be broken.

Either way, Reid is back rubbing elbows with A-listers and she even found herself a handsome, young boy-toy.

The 36-year-old actress was recently spotted getting cozy with 60-year-old jeweler Fawaz Gruosi.

Gruosi is the founder and president of de Grisogono, and is considered one of the most sought-after watch and jewelry makers of his generation, according to The New York Times.

The two were spotted holding hands and looking intimate aboard a massive yacht at the Lady Joy Boat Party in Cannes. (Via the HuffPo)

Okay okay, so she’s dating a man who is old enough to be her father. A lot of actresses do that. In fact, just the other day, my sources spotted Catherine Zeta Jones having lunch with her husband, Michael Douglas, in a park. And he loved every last bite of that apple sauce, because someone had an awfully full diaper. Yes he did! Who’s mommy’s big pooper? That’s right, Michael Douglas is.

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

For those of you who’ve been asking me when we’d have a mobile app for the Frotcast, well, we still don’t, but the Frotcast is now available on Stitcher, which means you can stream it to your iPhone or Android device without having to wait for the whole file download. I tried it this morning, it works great. Download the Stitcher app from the App store or from Stitcher.com.

This week on the Frotcast, we ALL saw Cabin in the Woods (this might be the first time we all saw the same movie since the Jonah Hex episode), we discover a new isolated vocal track, play MANswers roulette, bring on Burnsy for HOTT GOSS, discuss Frame Rape-gate, and read your listener emails, which all seemed to involve poop or ball shaving this week.

Subscribe (and leave a review!) on iTunes. Email us at Frotcast@Gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail, (415) 275-0030.

Check out Adam’s Episode notes below and your listener email of the week.

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