This is one of those magic eye pictures, right? Gonna keep staring just in case.

As we’ve learned, all horror movies are either about a haunted house or a creepy kid. After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for House at the End of the Street. Try to guess what that one’s about! Trick question! It’s about a house being haunted BY a creepy kid. But it does have Jennifer Lawrence all tarted up and stuffed into a dirty wifebeater, so there’s that. If I was 13 and didn’t have access to stump porn, I tell ya, this moving picture would be the bee’s knees.

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Last night, Austin’s Fantastic Fest kicked off a week of honoring “horror, fantasy, sci-fi, action and just plain fantastic movies” with the opening night party, and the highlight of the evening was the debut of The Human Centipede 2. To show proper respect to the sequel to Tom Six’s 2010 horror tale of a mad doctor’s fetish for ass-to-mouth, the people at Fantastic Fest even organized the world’s largest Human Centipede Conga line. They clearly didn’t make it to my Bar Mitzvah.

But for those of us who couldn’t make it to Texas last night, all we have for now is the film’s new poster, which is, of course, not exactly theater-friendly. Check out the poster after the jump, as well as a patron-friendly alternative created by one unique theatre.

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After the jump, you can watch the trailer for The Silent House, a 79-minute, horror film from director Gustavo Hernandez, which premiered at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival.  It was shot entirely in one, continuous, 79-minute single take.  Intriguing, sure, but if you’ve read my reviews of Buried or 127 Hours, you know how I feel about filmmakers putting excessive, artificial restraints on themselves as a gimmick to prove how awesome they are.  I mean yes, It’ll help you stand out at the film festival, but it’s a little like proving what a great boxer you are by not using your hands.  Oh, you built me a log cabin using only a butter knife and a stale baguette?  That’s neat, I’m just not sure I want to live there.

A 79-minute, single-shot film… wouldn’t that be called a play?  Don’t get lazy on us, edit that sh*t.

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After the jump, I’ve got some new clips from Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, a new horror comedy starring Alan Tudyk that looks a little like Cabin Fever.  Only this time, it’s told from the hillbillies’ perspective, who can’t figure out why all these college kids came out to the woods to terrorize them and die accidentally.  It looks pretty funny, and I should have a review for you next week, my too-hot-for-Sundance-press-credentials status notwithstanding.  At the very least, I hope it gets picked up for distribution and makes lots of money so Alan Tudyk won’t have to do cell phone commercials anymore.  Wait, I just looked it up and it turns out it’s actually just a DirecTV commercial in which he watches TV on a cell phone.  Phew.  Last thing we need is another Luke Wilson.  Have you heard?  AT&T’s new 3G network allows him to eat two sandwiches at the same time.

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This is the trailer for Eli Craig’s Tucker & Dale vs. Evil ,starring the great and still-surprisingly-unknown Alan Tudyk.  It’s a horror comedy that thankfully doesn’t involve zombies.  Instead it takes the familiar college-kids-go-camping-in-the-backwoods plot, but the twist is that this time, the hillbillies are the good guys, and they only seem like psycho killers because of repeated, Three’s Company-esque misunderstandings.  Even if the writing turns out to be not as good as, say, Zombieland, I appreciate that writer-director Craig took a more novel approach than just ripping off Shaun of the Dead.

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