(How nice am I for using former gladiator Gina Carano for the banner pic instead of Titan? That guy is gayer than Liberace cornholing a Care Bear.)
American Gladiators was only ever successful in the highly competitive, Saturday-afternoon-between-football-games time slot. NBC tried to run it at prime time in 2008 and it got canceled after 21 episodes. But there’s still an American Gladiators movie in the works, because hey, people have heard of it, right? There’s no surer sign of creative bankruptcy than reviving an idea that wasn’t that good 20 years ago.
Patriot Games/Varsity Blues scribe Peter Iliff will write a screenplay based on an idea by former Legendary Pictures chief marketing officer Scott Mednickis who is producing the feature. Iliff is probably best known for writing Point Break, and recently wrote the upcoming sequel Point Break Indo.
The film will be set inside the world created in the tv show and will present “a compelling story that launches a whole new set of characters” with the “Herculean characters as superheroes.” [/Film]
Did anyone honestly ever watch some roided-out freak with shaved pits knock a guy into a pool with a giant Q-tip and think, “Oh my gosh, they’ve created a whole new world!” Because that’s what I like to call “Friday.”
The concept of Broderskab (Brotherhood) is pretty straightforward: gay nazis. It may seem like a far fetched premise but it’s really not — after all, Hugo Boss designed the uniforms. The trailer is all in Danish, but the language of gay nazis is universal.
A a story about love and identity. Lars, 22, is drawn to the neo-Nazi scene, and to Jimmy. A love affair grows between them. Though gay love is not something to go unpunished in their circles, their love and erotic attraction are so strong that they continue their affair, even in the face of their fellow neo-Nazis’ condemnation. [QuietEarth]
I’d just like to once again bring up my idea for the improv sitcom about neo-Nazis, Curbstomp Your Enthusiasm. I think it’d be a great show, as long as no gay nazis are in the room.
Holy God do I wish I could take a time machine back to six months ago before every tool in Hollywood had heard of MMA. The latest? David Henrie of the Disney channel’s Wizards of Waverly Place (yeah, I haven’t heard of him either, I think he might be a lesbian) is planning to develop and star in The Weapon. What’s that, you ask? Why it’s an adaptation of the most original comic book ever.
“Weapon” follows martial arts enthusiast and inventor Tommy Zhou, who has developed a ground-breaking portable innovation that an evil order will stop at nothing to steal. Released in 2007, “Weapon” was created by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg.
A “portable innovation”? You mean like, a fleshlight? A suitcase bomb? A flask? Quit being so f’cking coy. But getting back to what I said about MMA, gird your loins for awful PR quotes part two…
This Japanese [of course it's Japanese] commercial was made in 1970, when Charles Bronson had already starred in classics like Once Upon a Time in the West, The Magnificent Seven, The Dirty Dozen, and The Great Escape, and was yet to star in the Death Wish series. Charles Bronson was a total badass, maybe because, according to the New York Times, “his family was so poor that when he was 6 he was sent to school in a dress, a hand-me-down from an older sister.” That’ll toughen you up. Or get you free candy. Cool either way.
He was so badass his badassery and badassitute couldn’t be confined to just one commercial. There were at least eight of these bad boys, including one in which he catches a fish with his bare hands and another featuring him bonding with his, uh, son? Mmm . . . mandom.
So kick back, grab a pipe, throw your shirt in the air with a flourish, and pour half a pint of cologne on your chest and back. Now you’re ready to shoot something. Or smell like Bigfoot’s dick.
~ robopanda
Jeremy Piven is on Entourage, which I try not to hold against him since he’s the only thing approaching good on that show. He also stars in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, which he recently promoted by appearing on WWE’s Monday Night Raw at the Mohegan Sun Casino. Accompanied by his sidekick Ken Jeong*, Piven announces the “lumberjack match” between John Cena and The MiZ, whom Piven keeps referring to as “Le Miz”. Haha, it’s funny because no one there gets it. And wait a second, isn’t The MiZ that guy from The Real World who everyone laughed at because he wanted to be a wrestler? They actually let him be a wrestler? Where have I been? Oh that’s right, not watching “raw” wrestling. Call me old fashioned, but when I hear “lumberjack match” I expect someone getting hit with an axe or f’d in the B. Or at least some flapjacks. Buttery, syrupy, muscular flapjacks, all laying on top of each other? Mm-mm, my stomach has a boner just thinking about them.
*additional trivia: who’s actually licensed to practice medicine)
