Here’s the video that got Hank Williams Jr. “fired” (I didn’t realize he was still employed). “Obama! Biden! The Three Stooges!” Williams replied. “That’s only two,” Steve Doocy pointed out. Hahahahahahahahaha. “Hank Williams Jr., who knows a little about politics too.” Um, no. To quote Brendan from the Frotcast: “All my rowdy friends are here with a rope!” |RollingStone|

MORNING LINKS
What They Did This Summer: A Look In Pictures At The NBA’s Stars During The Lockout |With Leather|

Arrested Development Cast Reuniting for 10 More Shows & A Movie (No, Seriously This Time) |Film Drunk|

This week’s Frotcast has Joe King’s stand up. If you don’t listen, you’ll never know what “if that falcon tells you to make come, you damn well better fill his dish” means. |Frotcast 67|

I like this Battleship Shots idea way better than the Battleship movie idea. |AfternoonSnoozeButton|

New Book: Diddy Had Tupac Killed, Suge Knight Had Biggie Killed |UPROXX|

Aussie Sets New Land Speed Record For Motorized Couches |Gamma Squad|

Kenan Thompson Is Marrying This. |Warming Glow|

I don’t know what the hell this girl was doing, but her little brother is a star. |GorillaMask|

Doug Hutchison must really like tits if he’s willing to put up with this terrifying, dead-eyed freakshow. |TheSuperficial|

Oh look, I found a picture of your mom. |Videogum|

5 People Older Than Andy Rooney. |ScreenJunkies|

Twin Peaks as an Atari game. |MentalFloss|

Meet the new Muppet, “food insecure Muppet.” Uh, what? |TheDailyWhat|

I know this isn’t the preferred nomenclature, but this Chinaman has two faces. |Buzzfeed|

High School Football Player Quits Team to Become Cheerleader |Brobible|

The 20 Most Successful Christian-Themed Films of All Time |Pajiba|

The top 5 office pet peeves. |HolyTaco|

A Collection of Awesome Masked Characters in Movies |Unreality|

Nominate for Comments of the Week. Subscribe to Frotcast iTunes. Like dick pics? Follow me on Twitter.

Punk rockers like Sid Vicious have been wearing Nazi stuff for shock value since the 70s, but no one seems to remember that, at least if the degree of solemnity with which everyone wrote up the story about Danish filmmaker Lars Von Trier declaring himself a Nazi at Cannes is any indication.  The incident in question took place during the Melancholia press conference, which you can watch here, if you don’t mind sitting through a boring, 40-minute movie press conference.  My stars, you don’t think the guy who films talking foxes, sex scenes between retarded people, and genital mutilation was being deliberately provocative, do you?  Goodness, we should hold a tolerance rally.  Here’s Ebert’s account of the event:

Von Trier’s detour began when he was asked about his use of German romantic music in his score. In the film “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst plays a bride who is supposed to be happy on her wedding day, but her depression makes her unravel and unable to keep up her happy face. While this is taking place, the planet Melancholia is hurtling toward the earth, rendering life pointless. As the character says, life is pointless and the earth is evil, we don’t need to grieve for it. Von Trier speculated that he had gone overboard in his use of Wagner, then said he had an interest in Nazi things.
He said he grew up thinking he was a Jew, and he was very happy to be a Jew. Then he discovered he was a Nazi, and that also gave him some pleasure. “Yes, I am a Nazi!”, he declared.
While his cast (Charlotte Gainsbourg, Udo Kier and John Hurt) looked on in horror, Kirsten Dunst tapped him on the shoulder and whispered to him to moderate his comments. He looked at her in confusion and said, “But this has a point, it will be okay.”
Then he proceeded to dig himself in deeper, saying that he understood Hitler, and that he could sympathize with his being down in that bunker toward the end. He continued, “Well that doesn’t mean I have anything against Jews, except Susanne Bier (Danish filmmaker, “In a Better World”).
“Well, Israel is a pain in the ass …
“Okay, I am a Nazi…
“Nazis tend to do things on a grander scale…
“Perhaps we can have a Final Solution for journalists….”
With that moderator Henri Behar called a halt to the conference because it was clear at that point that Von Trier just could not stop himself.
It is widely known that Von Trier suffers from bouts of depression, and “Melancholia” obviously reflected his state of mind. Ironically, before the declaration about Hitler and Nazism, Von Trier looked happier and more relaxed than he had at any of his previous press conferences at Cannes.

It seems that perhaps the director of Antichrist was just playing… (*sunglasses*) …Devil’s advocate. (*YEAAAAAAAH…*) (*fox bites off penis*).

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Christian Dior head fashion designer John Galliano was arrested Thursday night in Paris for allegedly making anti-semitic remarks, which is illegal there (grrr, fight Fascism with Fascism!).  Later, in what they claim was a separate incident, The Sun obtained video of a drunken Galliano at the same cafe, telling some women “I love Hitler.”  Natalie Portman had been the spokesperson for Dior perfume, saying as recently as December:

“One of the things that’s been so nice is that Dior made all of the shoes for me with no animals and no leather or anything because I don’t wear any leather… They remade all my shoes so I can wear Dior shoes without taking lives.”

UPDATE: Here’s what Galliano said precipitating his arrest, according to the report:

In her statement to police, Bloch, who is not Jewish, alleged that Galliano screamed at her, “Dirty Jew face, you should be dead,” and told her to “shut your mouth, dirty bitch, I can’t stand your dirty whore voice.” As for Virgitti, who is of Asian descent, Bloch says Galliano yelled, “You f*cking Asian bastard, I’ll kill you!” He then returned his attention to Bloch. “You’re so ugly I can’t bear looking at you. You’re wearing cheap boots, cheap thigh boots. You’ve got no hair, your eyebrows are ugly, you’re ugly, you’re nothing but a whore.” And for his finale, Bloch — whom witnesses reported initially mistook Galliano for a homeless person, perhaps angering him — says Galliano yelled, “I am the designer John Galliano!” and struck a pose. [NYDailyNews]

Once Portman had seen the tapes, she released the predictable statement:

“I am deeply shocked and disgusted by the video of John Galliano’s comments that surfaced today. In light of this video, and as an individual who is proud to be Jewish, I will not be associated with Mr. Galliano in any way. I hope at the very least, these terrible comments remind us to reflect and act upon combating these still-existing prejudices that are the opposite of all that is beautiful.” [NYTimes]

“As a proud Jew whose real last name is ‘Hershlag’, who took a less-Jewy sounding name, I condemn these remarks…”  Sorry, couldn’t resist.  Anyway, Galliano has since been fired:

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After the jump, James Nguyen tells you how to enter the Birdemic Demand It Contest.  Me, I just love this screencap.

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Today’s Uproxx feature brought to you by fat guys with expensive knives. |Uproxx|
• The math of predicting divorces. (Worth a click solely for the cat-related banner pic). |GammaSquad|
• This one-year-old girl can snowboard. I dunno, I still prefer ladies who “ski”, gnome sayin? (*taps nostril, hip thrusts*). |WithLeather|
• Here are two pilots, one from Will Arnett and the creator of Arrested Development, the other from Paul Reiser.  Guess which one is NBC.  Side note — Worse show, Mad About You or Caroline in the City? |WarmingGlow|
• Smoking Section: Reflection Eternal. |SmokingSection|
• The Tarantula Hawk is a giant wasp that eats tarantulas. You know what they say, the enemy of my enemy is OH MY GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE. |Urlesque|
• New Miss USA knows her way around a stripper pole. |Guyism|
• My ex-classmate James Franco returning toe General Hospital.  |TVSquad|
• 300 producers planning Julius Caesar trilogy.  I’d settle for another season of Rome. |InsideMovies|
• Bret Michaels wore his bandanna throughout his hospital stay. “If I’m going out, I want to go out rockin’”.  |Fark|
• The five most popular celebrities you’ve never heard of. |Pajiba|
• Michael Jai White was on the Adam Carolla podcast and it was awesome. |AdamCarolla|
• 10 awesome covered comics. |ComicsAlliance|

As promised, Jesus (maybe?) and Hitler.

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I’m always amazed at how little industry shrivs understand the internet.  Every time a lawyer threatens me into pulling a movie trailer, I ask my stuffed animals, “But why would someone want me to remove something creative specifically for advertising when I’m helping it reach a wider audience?  Why, Professor Snugglebottom, why?”  Similarly, the folks at Constantin films, the studio behind Downfall, are now trying to pull all the famous Hitler-is-angry clips from YouTube.  Said Constantin exec Martin Moszkowicz to the BBC last week:

“We as a corporation have a bit of an ambivalent view of it. On the one hand we are proud the picture has such a huge fanbase and that people are using it for parody. On the other hand we are trying to protect the artists.”

Oh you are?  Which ones, exactly?  Was it director Oliver Hirschbiegel, who just a few months ago said:

“Many times the lines are so funny, I laugh out loud, and I’m laughing about the scene that I staged myself! You couldn’t get a better compliment as a director.”

And from what are you protecting them, exactly?  More fame?  I was one of the few people that saw Downfall in the theaters, and it was a solid movie, but how many more people have rented it because of the clip?  Even if it was five, the result was a net positive.  I just don’t understand the end game here.  No one’s going to pay you royalties for these (not to mention it’s parody and is protected, but that’s a whole other argument).  They don’t need this clip to make a parody.  They’ll just move on to something else, and then you’ll be out the royalties and the free advertising.  Quit acting like such d*cks.  Remember what happened last time you acted like huge d*cks?  That’s right, six million Jews died.  If you’re ever wondering whether you’re the bad guy in a dispute, take a look at who’s on your side.  If it’s a room full of lawyers and Germans, guess what, you’re the bad guy.